Thought Catalog
March 9, 2017

This Is Why Depression Is Not ‘Just A Phase’

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Chad Madden

Please stop saying that depression is “just a phase” because it’s not.

I know, because I’ve read it many times before.

In the chatroom, when a friend said that she was so lonely and she didn’t know what to do with her life anymore. In the comment section of posts that read “I give up” “I can’t take it any longer” “I hate life” “Fuck life” “Fuck this world” “Kill me now” “I wanna die” “Goodbye.”

I know, because I’ve seen it many times before.

In the television screen, when three celebrity moms interviewed a brokenhearted teen. In the school, when my best friend cried because the person she loved confessed that he was gay. In the office, when my workmate broke down because her favorite dog died a few moments after his father was admitted to the hospital. In the bar, when one of my friends said she had this weird feeling that her boyfriend was about to break up with her.

I know, because I’ve heard it many times before.

In my bedroom, when I bared my heart and soul to the person I love most. In their bedroom, when I got too drunk that I let out my suicide plans. In the coffee shop, when my friends and I were talking about how fucked up our lives were.

I know, because I’ve been there many times before.

But unlike others who gave up, I lived to tell the tale.

It’s just a phase, they keep telling everyone who almost lost the battle. It’s just a phase, they keep saying to the broken souls who can’t escape the pain. It’s just a phase, they keep telling me, but “It’s not ‘just a phase’,” I told them yesterday.

Depression is not a phase. You wanna know the truth? It’s bound to stay with you until your last fucking breath.

That just when you thought things could not get worse, it will hit you. It will fill your head with monsters and one sleepless night is never enough. It will haunt you and suck all the remaining happiness out of your mind, filling your brain with dreadful thoughts that will make your heart ache. Every. Fucking. Time.

And even if you live through a day without them, they will come back when you’re at your most vulnerable to remind you that your worst fears and nightmares are coming true. It sucks, but it’s true.

Depression is not “just a phase.” Truth is, you just learn to live with the pain.

So next time a person tells you that “it’s just a phase,” tell them they’re wrong. Tell them it will stay with you forever and that it’s okay. You won’t get over it because it will haunt you when you least expect it. It will come for you when you’re lonely. It will come for you when you’re happy. You won’t move on from the pain. You won’t forget the feeling. Ever. It stays with you until you grow old, even as you watch the last moments of your life tick away before your very eyes.

It will always hurt, yes, but the time will come when even the strongest storms won’t tear you down. Depression is not just a phase, but the time will come when you’ll learn to cope with the pain. Please tell them to stop acting like they know your pain because they do not. Please do it for your own sake.

From a woman who learned to live with the pain. TC mark

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