18 Things You’re Sure To Learn From Your Puerto Rican Friends
1. How to talk at insanely loud volumes. And with huge, wild hand gestures.
2. How to cook some of the best food you’ve ever had. Mofongo, anyone? 1
3. How to dance salsa.
4. For that matter, how to dance reggaetón.
5. How to laugh things off. Seriously. Everyone has a friend nicknamed gordo. 2
6. How to drive in the most chaotic traffic.
7. How to insult someone on their birthday. “Te estás poniendo viejo con cara de conejo y patas de avestruz.” Oh, and I love you, happy birthday.” 3
8. How to complement anything you eat with mayoketchup.
9. How to make a world-class piña colada.
10. How to take shots properly. Pa’ arriba, pa’ abajo, pal centro y pal carajo. 4
11. How to be patient. Extremely patient. Five-hours-in-the-doctor’s-waiting-room patient. People-stopping-traffic-to-have-a-conversation patient. Arriving-two-hours-late patient.
12. Words like boricua, nuyorican, and jangueo. 5
13. How to drink large amounts of rum. 6
14. How to whistle el cantar del coquí. 7
15. How to use ay bendito in your everyday vocabulary. 8
16. A Pepito joke.
17. The lyrics to the Harris Paint commercial song: Los Colores de mi Tierra.
18. How to drink coffee multiple times a day, before and after every meal.