6 Thoughts On Girls And One Night Stands

1.  EXPECT NOTHING. Literally nothing.

Be pleasantly surprised in the morning if they remember your name or even acknowledge you.  Plan on calling a cab to get home or if they are at your place, plan on them sneaking out without a word.

Now, I am a girl so I am very aware that it is very hard to turn off those thoughts going through your head “But we had a really good time, this could be it! I can’t wait to tell my grandkids this story.” (Not the exact one night stand story but you get my drift)  Even if those thoughts are unavoidable and you DID have a good time and felt a connection, ignore it and listen to your logical self – this probably is just a one-night stand.  Until he does acknowledge your presence AND gets your phone number AND contacts you after you leave AND makes plans to see you again – it’s just a one-night stand.

2.  Know yourself well enough to not be broken hearted every weekend.

If you are the type that will get attached after sex (we all do a little bit, its actually a hormone that is released), BUT there is a big difference between, “Oh well, the sex kinda sucked anyways” and *sobbing* “I just really thought he’d text me, I mean why wouldn’t he what is wrong with me?!”

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this reaction, sex is an intimate thing and means different things to different people.  But if this is you, don’t do this to yourself every weekend – don’t keep falling for the lines guys use in a bar and the fact that you are drunk and tell yourself you won’t care in the morning when you KNOW you will.  Find a guy that actually takes you on a date (hint: he probably won’t be drunk in a bar).  This takes some patience but it has got to be better than feeling like shit every single Sunday morning.

On the other hand, if you can bang em and actually not give a fuck, more power to you.

3. Use some common sense.

Instincts are nothing to scoff at.  They are usually right.  Do not override your initial instinct that a guy is creepy or just not cool because he bought you a drink.  Chances are really really good you would confirm your initial instincts later in the night or regrettably the next morning.  It also never hurts to have a friend or twos impression on a guy, you know just to help ensure you don’t end up in a gutter.  If you want to be really proactive, ask him where he lives before you go there and tell someone slash you can always just bring him back to your place.

4.  Don’t’ feel guilty.

Society’s moral compass these days is fucking exhausting.  All extremes are present and have a decent following.  Extreme 1: “Two people should go on supervised dates and only hold hands before the wedding.”  Extreme 2: “Two people should have a lot of sexual experience with other people and with each other before they even CONSIDER dating.”

Now probably about everybody in and around Extreme 1 would absolutely judge you for a one-night stand.  In the same tune, everybody in and around Extreme 2 would give you a high five and tell you to keep up the good work.  Therefore you certainly can’t feel guilty because of what “society” says because society doesn’t even know what the fuck it says.

The only thing that should inspire guilt is a promise broken to you.  If you decided you were no longer into this one-night stand thing or just wanted to take a hiatus and then got drunk and reneged (we’ve all been there), then sure you can say “well damn, great job self, way to stay strong.” But after one day of calling yourself an idiot, move on.  Dwelling has zero positive effects.

NEVER feel guilty for not feeling guilty.  This is the absolute worst.  If you had some great sex and feel great about it the next day then GOOD FOR YOU and forget what anyone else has to say about.  Frankly it’s none of their business.

5.  If you forgot to make them wrap it up – get tested.

Don’t wait for shit to start growing down there, just suck it up and go to a clinic.

6.  If you are in a relationship – Break up with the poor guy.

And maybe spare him the gritty details, at this point, it’ll only further bruise his fragile ego.