9 Things Turning 30 Taught Me About Relationships

My twenties were all about experimenting, having a crazy time, and living on the edge. I moved to four cities, met all sorts of people, fell in and out of love, and started traveling. Two years into my thirties, a subtle change has come over me. I am calmer, I am way more comfortable in my skin, and when it comes to relationships, I am a lot more accepting and understanding of their ephemeral value.

Still single and looking for love, here are the 9 things my thirties have taught me about relationships:

1. I have learned that if you lose a friend, that person was never really your friend to begin with. It is sad and it hurts, but it’s true. Friendship doesn’t come with terms and conditions; people don’t come with terms and conditions. It is all a game of expecting and accepting.

2. I have learned that relationships have their troubled times. We stop being what we are initially to the people we love. We become comfortable and say things that we should not say. It is at that point that we have a choice to either evolve with the relationship, or fight.

3. I have learned that I don’t have the energy to fight anymore. We are so starved for love that we fight for love itself. Maybe that’s the reason even countries fight

4. I have learned that as we get comfortable in things, places and with people we also start to ask for more. We start to treat those things, the places and those people as home. We take them for granted.

5. I have learned that there is no time slab, price tag or an expiry date on some relationships. They come with a reason and as soon as the reason is over they fade.

6. I have learned that we can’t accept the fading away. It’s a fear we carry around us all the time.

7. I have learned that letting go is a process. It takes time. We feel it’s the hardest thing we have to do. But truth is, we have to let go, we have to walk ahead and we have to move on.

8. I have learned that with love comes insecurity. To evolve and conquer it is an ongoing process. It is also the same process that either brings two people closer or makes them fall apart.

9. I have learned that I have to wait for love to come to me. The kind of love that has its ups and downs, arguments and insecurities but all of it stems from passion and immense emotion. A love that each day learns the good and bad about me as I learn about him and together we grow to make him and I – Us.