1. “A few years ago I was dating lots of women simultaneously, ditching anyone who demanded ‘girlfriend status’ and literally picking their replacement on Tinder the next day. I actually logged girls into my phone with notes about what they looked like because it got too hard to remember who was who. One night I gave my regular ‘thanks but no thanks’ bullshit spiel to yet another woman who demanded exclusivity after a month, and she stared back at me and said, ‘Unacceptable.’ She took a stand and I was so impressed by that. I knew right then she was worth changing for.”

— Matteo, 25

2. “Early into dating my long-term girlfriend, I had a big job interview. Right before I left, she looked at me in all seriousness and told me that I was smart and capable and that I was more than qualified for the gig, even though I definitely wasn’t. I didn’t realize the impact she’d had on me until I was offered the position and looking back, I knew I’d killed it because my girl had made me believe in myself. My mindset morphed that day—from laughing off the idea of a serious relationship until at least 30, to seeing the value of holding onto the right person.”

— Ryan D., 24

3. “One word: ultimatum. ‘Stop being a shithead, or I’m leaving you,’ she said, or something like that. Sometimes a guy needs to be manhandled a little. I definitely did. Luckily I was smart enough not to fuck things up with the love of my life just so I could keep chasing pussy.”

— Jared, 32

4. “About eighteen months into dating my fiancée, I finished fumbling through the punch line of a joke and she started cracking up—and not in a fake way. I’m the first to admit I’m not the greatest storyteller, and I could tell she actually thought I was hilarious. It had to be because she loved me. Until that moment I’d spent so much time being a dick of a boyfriend, practically ignoring her at parties because I cared more about my friends and other ‘fuckable’ women. Things were different after that.”

— Mitty, 26

5. “I was an entitled fuckhead who figured he’d always have tons of money because he was born and raised rich. I was living the ‘models and bottles’ life in New York after graduating because I could, but I kept a girlfriend who looked the part to take to weddings and family functions. My world was totally rocked when my family lost everything in the 2008 financial crisis, and my parents had to cut me off. I expected my girlfriend, whom I’d thought of as pure arm candy up to that point, to dump me immediately. But when I told her what’d happened, she didn’t blink. She was the first person who made me realize I was worth more than my checking account balance. Seven years later, she’s still my rock.”

— Parker, 28

6. “My girlfriend was just as much of a player as I was when we first met. We agreed to keep things simple because neither of us was interested in settling down. Six months in, though, we were at home eating Thai food on the couch, watching a bad movie when she paused the TV and pointed out that we were having a blast together. We’ve been living together for two years now and monogamy’s never been a problem for either of us. Sometimes it’s just about meeting your match.”

— Finn, 29

7. “When I met my future wife, she was waiting tables and I was an asshole who thought he was above dating waitresses. I was young and dumb and handsome as fuck and I had a ‘good’ job. So my social life consisted of fucking a different girl every week, after taking them each to the same neighborhood spot and then suggesting a nightcap back at my place. One night when my latest fuck buddy went to the bathroom during dinner, I caught myself staring at our waitress and it hit me that she was the reason I’d been going there so often. It was amazing, how hard she worked and how she handled all the asshole customers like me with such grace. I wanted to be with her, so I stayed behind that night to ask her out and I pledged to give her the respect she deserved. We’ve been together ever since.”

— Philip, 31

8. “For a while, I cheated on my college girlfriend like crazy. The only reason I even had a girlfriend was because I wanted a go-to date for frat formals. Anyway, she finally found out and confronted me about everything. I remember looking into her eyes as she listed all the evidence that I’d been a total jackass. I could see that she wasn’t angry or crazy jealous, necessarily. She was just hurt. She didn’t want to rant against me, or punish me. She wanted to understand. She won me over that night and turned me into a faithful man.”

— Theo, 24

9. “I was a club-hopping idiot in my mid-twenties doing the work-hard-play-hard thing when I met the woman who made me realize there’s more to life than having fun and getting laid. She was a colleague and I was telling a lame glory story at the water cooler and everyone was amused—except for her. With one look of disapproval bordering on disgust, she made me question my entire approach to life. It took six months to make some real changes and to convince her that I was worth a shot, but I worked hard at becoming someone good enough to date her and I’m grateful to her for straightening me out.”

— Lance, 35

10. “You know that scene in ‘As Good As It Gets’ where Jack Nicholson tells Helen Hunt, ‘You make me want to be a better man’? That’s how I feel about my current girlfriend. She blindsided me at 30 with her intellect, charm, good looks, and heart. I used to mock people for having a social conscience, let alone a conventional monogamous relationship, and now I’m the married dude volunteering on weekends alongside his do-gooder wife.”

— Paul, 36

11. “I brought my girlfriend of six months to my law firm’s holiday party as a first year Associate. We weren’t seriously dating because I was career focused and intent on staying single so I could sleep around without feeling guilty. But that night we were standing around making small talk with a few Partners when I said the most moronic thing possible. Know what my girl did? She stepped in with the quickest, most effective conversation switch-up possible. I’ll never forget that. She’s my personal hero. I’m planning to propose next month.”

— Alfredo, 26

12. “When my girlfriend of one month told me she wanted a threesome, I realized I didn’t have to be so afraid of commitment. For guys who think of relationships as suffocating, dating a woman who likes getting it on with other women is the mother fucking answer. You don’t have to be a relationship-phobe when you know you can order up a spicy side dish whenever you want. I love my girlfriend so fucking much.”

— Kyle, 27