1.

That I’m not actually divorced.

2.

That I was in a porn. It’s on the Internet and a DVD.

3.

That I was not attracted to him when we met, I just didn’t want to be alone. Now he’s my everything.

4.

That I secretly want to put my finger in his butt.

5.

That I probably watch more porn than he does…

6.

That I have slept with more women than he has (27 F, he’s 35 M).

7.

That if he ever left, I’d probably hurt myself.

Don’t want to scare him off.

8.

That his best friend, his #1 buddy, his blood brother, has a crush on me.

9.

I believe he is way too good for me in every aspect. Education wise, family, looks, etc. I could never be his perfect match and I am afraid he will realize this one day and leave me.

10.

The first time my SO said I love you I didn’t say it back. He was drunk and cried when I told him I didn’t feel the same way. In the morning he didn’t remember any of it and told me again… this time I said it back. We’re married now and I can’t imagine my life without him.

11.

That I’m becoming quite insecure about his achievements compared to mine, and am afraid that one day in the near future he’d become so accomplished and finally wake up from this honeymoon phase, look at me and my stagnant life, and leave me :(

12.

That I didn’t initially find myself attracted to him, but enjoyed the attention he gave me. Everyone would tell me how hot he was and I didn’t really see it, then one day I was like Daaaaayyum.

Now I secretly think he is too good-looking for me.

13.

That I almost stood him up on our first date because I didn’t feel like showering. He told me a good while into our relationship about how he used to get stood up a lot. He played it off like he was fine and it didn’t bother him, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I don’t want him to know how close I came to hurting him.

14.

Every night before my boyfriend gets into bed I move his pillows slightly closer to the edge of the bed and mine slightly towards the middle, making my spot bigger and his smaller. I will soon rule the entire pillow top kingdom.

15.

That I’m still scared he’s gonna leave me because of my mental illness.

I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when I was 16 years old. Remember Girl, Interrupted? Add teenage gay boy drama to that, and that’s who I was. I tried to kill myself twice. I went to therapy for 4 years, and that helped, but I stopped for other reasons. I’m still on meds. Mood swings still happen, depression still happens, anxiety still happens. But it’s nowhere near as bad as it was before. It’s manageable. I do the best I can not to get my SO involved when I get too bad and try to get my shit together. He also helps me, a lot. More than I could ever say. Most days I can wake up and finally feel happy about life.

16.

That I found my engagement ring completely by accident a month before he proposed and tried it on.

17.

I was raped as a kid. Over time I “enjoyed” it. As I grow older I realized that I never wanted to be part of it, but found it easier to give in than protest. I was 5 the first time and it was a cousin. I walk around with that every day. It’s shaped who I am (which is unfortunate). I have anger issues. I have fear. I’m always anxious. I smoke weed all day every day to try and self medicate which she thinks is because I’m lazy. I can never tell anyone because I don’t want to be known as that. I don’t want my friends and family to always think about that. I don’t want my kids to know. I don’t want anyone to know. That’s why I’m hiding behind this VPN and creating fake accounts.

I hate it. I hate my life and I have a great life, but I’m ready for it to be over.

18.

I sell my underwear on the Internet….I’m a broke college student in an extremely demanding major who already has a job, but physically cannot work any more hours. I think he’d understand… but can’t risk it. He’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time.

19.

That my depression/anxiety is still extremely crippling and I still get very bad thoughts. I won’t act upon them. But I don’t want him to worry.

20.

That I don’t really like him and 99% of the things he says really annoy me, because it’s mostly complaining. He has a super negative outlook on life and often acts like a spoiled 3-year-old. I’ll probably break up with him soon, just waiting for an appropriate opportunity.

21.

He is pretty bad in bed. I never really understood the term “selfish lover” until I met him. I do most of the work and the only way to keep it going is to basically jerk him off with my V. However he is insanely good at giving oral so YAYiguess?

I don’t know if my insatiable desire for him comes from my love for him, or that I’ve never actually been satisfied sexually in our relationship.

22.

That our emergency fund wasn’t from my previous job, but from prostitution money to make sure we didn’t go homeless. I’d rather forget but they don’t need that weight too.

23.

I think that if he was made aware of how protective I am of him, he’d be so embarrassed he’d break up with me. He’s got some underlying things he’s dealing with regarding his masculinity. It hurts me to see him suffer in the societal and self imposed pain about male ideals. I wish he could love all of himself without insecurity, because he’s just an amazing person, and you don’t need to be a raging, testosterone flooded, lumberjack of hypermasculine insanity to be amazing.

24.

That I’m settling for him because I’ve lost the energy to try and start anew. After 8 years together, I haven’t really loved him for about 4 of them, but he is good to me and gives me a lot of time alone. Trying to break up with him and find something new would be too hard at this point.

25.

I hope he never finds out just how badly my mental health spirals when there’s any sort of reminder that we’re in an open relationship.