So for about two and a half weeks, I was going through the motions feeling more exhausted than usual, thinking I was mostly fed up with winter in Chicago as I usually am by February. Alas, I actually had the flu which was probably in my system and finally manifested itself in full force this past weekend. YAY! I don’t recall having the flu this badly since childhood but apart from convincing myself that I was going to spend my final moments on earth, trying not to choke on my own cough, there were a plethora of other thoughts that ran through my head which were in a nutshell, pretty freaking bleak. I’m still in recovery but seeing as I can actually sit up for the first time in four days, I figured I should write while I am still in discomfort and pain because really, if you’re not a tortured, suffering writer, are you a writer at all? Hope you enjoy my latest attempt at a great American listicle.
1. “Honestly, one reason to get hitched at some point in life is so that someone can actually be there when you’re sick. This blows.”
2. “Imagine being sick at 78 with no one to look after you? I really need to volunteer at the seniors center more.”
3. “So this is it, my hour has come. I’m going to die like this, cold and alone.”
4. “How long do you think it’ll take everyone to realize I’m dead. A few days? A week?”
5. “Really regretting not making out with that hot guy from Miami two years ago right now. Why didn’t I just do it?”
6. “I totally should have told my Mum I loved her on the phone last week. Going to text her that right now.”
7. “I kinda wish I had a dog right now.”
8. “Kinda want to tell one of my friends to bring me soup but also don’t want to be the needy friend even though I’m pretty sure I’m dying.”
9. “Okay God, please make me better. I promise I’ll never complain about my thighs being too muscular again.”
10. “Ugh, I don’t even want to think about how bad my email looks like.”
11. “Wonder who would actually miss me if I died…Hmmmm.”
12. “Times like this you realize how completely worthless social media really is. So nice to be off for a little bit.”
13. “I hate everything.”
14. “I should probably go to urgent care but is there anything sadder than sitting in a waiting room by yourself?”
15. “Okay God, I promise to consider trying online dating if you make me better.”
16. “Don’t worry universe, I’ll just do these dishes by myself and hopefully I won’t collapse over the sick.”
17. “All these marathons that I never ran…smh. Why didn’t I run them when I was healthy?”
18. “Maybe I should get a roommate next year…”
19. “I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you now what that mean mayne? It means you look after yourself when you’re sick.”
20. “I should just swallow my pride and tell someone to come over.”
21. “Maybe I should update my will or leave a final note or something.”
22. “You can be the healthiest peach in the world and you still get sick. Why do I even bother being healthy if this is going to happen anyway?”
23. “This is just the flu. Nobody every died from the flu…except a hell of a lot of people died from the flu. Oh my God, I don’t want to die all by myself.”
24. “Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip…”
25. “Will I ever be healthy again?” 
