West Village Chef Farts On All 37 Of His Employees, Posts Anonymously About It On Craigslist
In a startling confession, a self-proclaimed well-known chef from a “somewhat famous restaurant in the meatpacking district” revealed, in an anonymous Craigslist posting, that he has succeeded in farting on all 37 of his employees, triumphantly ending months of dedicated effort. This somewhat famous chef, who claims to have had “several” specials on Food Network, put a lot of thought into his fart mission. The employees had to be farted on in alphabetical order — no skipping names and coming back. And the employees had to be aware that they had been farted on, whether via smell or sound.
The chef has a lot to say about his farts. After outlining his mission and indicating his success, the chef expounds on the nature of farts, suggesting they be color-coded by type: green for lingering farts, red for spicy farts, and yellow for farts that are near-accidents, farts that almost become something else altogether, the shart.
Apparently there is more to come. The merry farter intends to tell the story of all 37 attacks in subsequent Craigslist postings.
You should like Thought Catalog on Facebook here.
A | A | A
Even as I write this now I am debating whether or not to erase it all together.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.