Most Frequently Rejected Entries In ‘The New Yorker’ Cartoon Caption Contest
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Brian Donovan has written for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, Chappelle's Show, CNN, Fox News, Comedy Central, and ... 
Ma’am, these drinks are courtesy of the elephant at the end of the bar. No, the other elephant.
Oh, I thought you said Hogmail!
My Awkward Breakfast with Andre
I’ve heard of global warming, but this is ridiculous!
Honey, I don’t see what NAFTA has to do with which side of the bed we sleep on.
See, that’s why I never trust black people.
Excuse me, sir, but I believe your comb-over is in my seat.
Well, the good news is, the coffin is tax deductible.
Glove, Actually
And they say we belong in a zoo!
I crawled through the entire desert for this?
Did you hear that, sweetheart? Morty says he’s going into the CEO business.
He’s insisting we call him “Hanging Chad.”
He’s insisting we call him “Fiscal Cliff.”
He’s insisting we call him “President McCain.”
Mr. Mephistopheles, your 3:30 just arrived.
He’s been walking like that ever since his owner went organic.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put this much love back in our marriage.
We call this the “Boris Yelstin Suite.”
Are you sure these count as billable hours?
Yes We Can…ned Ham!
But you’re an otter in a business suit. Can’t you see how little sense that makes?
Don’t be too hard on him, Carl. He still reads Newsweek. 
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