Liveblogging Listening To Childish Gambino
“Freaks and Geeks”
This beat is terrible. This beat is so bad J. Cole wouldn’t rap on this beat. I can’t decide if it’s more unbearable listening to Donald Glover rap or hearing this corny beat on a loop. One of the things “Gambino” raps on this track is “I’m running this bitch, you’re just a dog-walker.” He also compares his dick to a carrot? As if that weren’t bad enough, he named this travesty after my favorite TV show.
This is like really bad wannabe Drake, basically? The drums on this are boring and repetitive. This song is like 3-4 horrible songs combined into one.
So this beat is like moronic guitar strums over “choirs of haunted voices” and some swap-meet “A Milli” drums. I feel like if Childish Gambino didn’t reference his dick as often and as awkwardly as he does I might hate his music slightly less.
This is like Gambino’s “laidback, breezy track with dumb pop chorus.” It’s bad.
I give Gambino points for self-awareness on this track. He explains on this track how he’s perceived as a corny poseur who sucks. Then Gambino threatens to do sexual intercourse with the hater/listener’s mouth if he/she doesn’t shut it. Is that right. No amount of “angry” distortion effects on your vocals is going to make you stop sounding soft as Charmin Ultra bruh bruh.
“Bitch, Look At Me Now”
No thanks, bitch. I feel like all Childish Gambino fans should be forbidden to procreate.
Turns out there is something worst than Gambino’s rapping — it’s his singing.
“All of the Lights (Childish Gambino Remix)”
What the hell is this. Is this the Jack Johnson remix? Gambino is like the Puddle of Mudd to Kanye’s Nirvana.
Bun B rapping over that song from Drive is a pretty good idea. This is also the least wack I’ve heard Gambino rap, which isn’t saying much. I’ll give this song a pass, I guess.
“You See Me”
You’re not tough, Gambino. You’re not “real.” The production on your songs is consistently awful. It’s over. You can’t rap. Just stop.
Childish Gambino Freestyle on “Sway In The Morning”
I’m embarrassed for you, bro. I feel bad for Sway trying to act like he’s into what you’re doing. I’m done.
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There’s the kind you have in the morning with sleep in your eyes and lust in your veins.
Will we eventually sink into the molasses of romantic stability?
Looking back over my past 27 years on the planet, the happiest times for me have always involved a spicy, unrequited crush somewhere in the mix.
I would rather jump around and sweat my body to a Lady Gaga song. Yoga is so overrated.