Facebook App Tells You Who Gave You The Flu
Since you already have the flu, there’s not much you can do but sit around in your own snot and wallow. But I bet I know what would make you feel better. Judging your other sick friends and finding out just who to blame for your ill predicament.
Help! My Friend Gave Me The Flu is here to, well, help. Using stalker technology, the app finds your Facebook friends updating about being sick, having symptoms and/or going places where they are likely to contract the flu and then sees which of those friends you are most likely to have hung out with. From there, it narrows down who got you sick, with the top suspects labeled in bright red.
The algorithm isn’t flawless and you’re definitely more likely to get the flu from a stranger sneezing in your mouth or something, but you’re home sick in bed anyway. Why not go on a witch hunt of all your grossest Facebook friends? That’s kind of what you’re doing anyway, right?
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It is so much more simple to say, “Stop caring what a man thinks, ladies, you’re beautiful as you are,” than to address all of the myriad reasons why that likely doesn’t apply to her.
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I could walk to Celebrate Brooklyn all summer along. I’d learn how to start running. I’d eat meals of happy chickens at the commune across the street.