9 Ways To Improve Twitter
1. An unsubscribe button
It would be great if Twitter added a feature allowing you to hide people from your feed without unfollowing them, like on Facebook. Sometimes you have to follow people for work reasons or maybe you love them in real life but their Twitter presence is unbearable. Every time you see one of their Tweets, you groan out loud and want to throw your phone into the wall. Wouldn’t it be great if you could unsubscribe to someone’s feed without actually unfollowing them and risking an awkward conversation?
2. Get rid of/purge fake celebrity accounts
I haaate those Not!Will Ferrell-Not!Tracy Morgan accounts. Ugh. Just tweet as yourself and stop cheating. The comedy is bad, the jokes are tired and broad and posing as a celebrity that is way funnier than you are is just pathetic.
3. A feature where you can trace and report stolen jokes and tweets
On that same note, I would kill for something that let me report when people have just straight up stolen jokes from hard-working comedians. They’re just gathering favs and retweets and no credit is being given to the original joke writer. It’s the worst when this happens to you and it sucks that there’s almost no recourse. Stop trying to gain followers from someone else’s work.
4. More pictures
This could work like OKCupid’s photos where there’s one main picture and then when you click it, there’s a page with whatever other pictures you wanna add. That way you can have a funny main photo and then a real picture of you below it if you want, for those who dare to dig deeper.
5. Translation button
I’d love to be able to use a button to translate any tweet that isn’t in a language I speak. It’d really help with reading international news tweets. Twitter could connect with Google Translate to make that happen.
6. Forums for fandoms
People complain because Twitter gets clogged up by fangirls — Beliebers and Directioners, etc — so why not create separate forums for them to share their fangirlness and therefore, hopefully, stay out of the trending topics?
7. Fix trending topics
Wouldn’t it be nice to go to the homepage and see the people that are getting the most RTs or the news stories that are being most-discussed. The trending topics are supposed to do that, I guess, but they rarely ever work the way they’re supposed to. I have no idea what they’re about most of the time and then they get co-opted by people asking what they are, creating more tweets about that topic until no one knows what the original purpose was. The trending topics have been corrupted. Fix them!
8. Be able to see the tweet that caused a certain person to unfollow you
It’d certainly make things interesting and give you reason to be better at Twitter, I guess. I don’t know if I want other people to see why I unfollow them, but I’d like to see what Tweets make other people unfollow me. Is it worth it?
9. Be able to hide tweets from certain people.
Maybe I don’t want my dad, who has Twitter, to see every joke or piece I decide to post. I wish you could go through and choose which Tweets show up on whose timeline. That way your Twitter could look different to different people. If you want a clean stream of jokes or information without @ replies, you could make it so people only saw that.
Any other ideas for making Twitter better? Let’s hear ‘em.
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It’s unfortunate, but we’re creatures of habit and we’ll hold onto our convictions until we’re literally forced to stop.
You basically have to walk a perfect straight line at all times in Japan because if you veer off at any moment you will almost definitely get mashed by a Japanese lady on a mamabike with three kids strapped to it.
Come on people, as if other people’s choices of love affected you in the least. Penguins don’t pull this crap on fellow homosexual penguins.
3. You’ve searched Etsy or eBay for a cute and inexpensive fez.