7 Reasons Why You Lose So Many Friends In Your 20s
1. People change. This is so obvious but it’s the leading cause of friendship death in your twenties so we must acknowledge it. You don’t know who you are at the age of twenty but you gravitate towards who makes the most sense in that moment. Then, as you get more of a handle on yourself and what kinds of people you actually want to surround yourself with, you make necessary changes. You cut the fat. You bid farewell to those who no longer fit. This is perhaps the hardest kind of friendship loss to weather because there’s no one to blame. You both just grew into different people. And when there’s no place to pinpoint blame, the heartache can last longer.
2. People move. They move clear across the country, they move to Europe, they plant the seeds of their life somewhere that’s not close to you and then you have to decide if the friendship is worth continuing when you know there’s a large chance you’ll never live in the same city again.
3. You get into a gnarly fight and you let too much time pass. Fighting with friends in college and high school was usually NBD because you’d be forced to see each other at school and make up. After you graduate, however, you’re not forced to see anyone you don’t want to so if you’re not interested in reconciling, it won’t happen. And then all of a sudden it’ll be a year and you’ll regret not putting yourself out there and making amends. Now it’s too late, too much has gone since you’ve been friends, and restarting it would be awkward.
4. Your friendship revolved around going out and getting drunk and now that’s not really what you want to do anymore. Your friend is angry that your priorities have changed and calls you no fun and a Grandma, which is frustrating and just makes you feel even less motivated to see them than you did before.
5. You have completely different schedules. While this might not kill a strong friendship, it definitely has the ability to squash a weaker one. And then you realize just how based on convenience the friendship was in the first place.
6. RELATIONSHIPS. Sorry to be a buzzkiill but a friendship has been known to fail when one party gets into an all-consuming love affair. Resentments and a lack of time spent together are enough to run it through to the ground.
7. They were toxic motherfuckers and you finally had the good sense to cut them out. GOOD FOR YOU, HONEY. YOU LOSE THOSE EXTRA FRIENDSHIP POUNDS ASAP!
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When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.
I realize that one can’t turn heterosexual overnight, but I thought I’d no longer be having gay desires.