1. Constant eye contact is a powerful way to remind your date that you have sight.

2. Your significant other crosses their leg every 6 to 8 minutes on average.

3. Mentioning that you went to college will increase the chance of you paying for the dinner by 84%.

4. On average, 42% of daters will tie their shoes on the first date.

5. Italian sparkling water is an aphrodisiac — as long as you shake it and spray it on your date.

6. Slouching at the dinner table at a French restaurant in front of your date is an amazing way to indicate that you’re really good at math.

7. Americans talk the most on phones, mention this to your date, proceed to pull out your phone and call your mom, because you really need to. Call your mom right now.

8. Couples love listening to “Seasons Of Love”. ~*525,600 minutes*~ (That is how long your relationship will last.)

9. Speed dating was developed by an ecology professor at a community college in Westchester to demonstrate that love, like everything on earth, is abundant and easily attainable.

10. One in eight teenagers have experimented with drinking coffee after 9pm at Starbucks on a “date” and went to bed late, causing them to be tired for school the next day.

11. Women who post videos on Internet websites are more likely to like cats. The same study found that men who reported incomes higher than $250,000 love dogs.

12. On average, trash bins are the focal point of conversation in kitchens.

13. When men proclaim that they don’t have anything to wear to a date, it means that they have just masturbated.

14. The time it takes to receive a reply text from your date correlates with the length of your future relationship.

15. In the online dating world, anything goes.

16. Couples usually bond especially well in dog parks.

17. Exactly 100% of men are afraid of rejection.

18. On average, 100% of women prefer bedhead to butthead.

19. One in two women will ask you about your Twitter follower ratio.

20. About 72% of men are conscious about their Twitter follower ratio.

21. Couple who have over 2,000 friends on Facebook altogether will have a happy and understanding relationship.

22. Men who drink coffee in the morning are more likely to perform better in bed.

23. Body language isn’t everything! Make sure you use your throat to actually use language to impress your date with your vast knowledge of Warhammer 40k.

24. PUAs swear by this: dab a little bit of male cat piss under your arms. The pheromones will definitely attract some pussy in the neighborhood.

25. Watching a movie on the first date brings you and your date closer because you get to share popcorn and eat their candy.

26. Studies show that studies that depict averages don’t usually pertain to certain groups of people.

27. Studies show that explaining the history of Nicki Minaj and what she stands for is a great topic to discuss on a first date.

28. If you want to create a link with your date, drop their name in the conversation at least once or twice, and drop their mother’s name, their father’s name, their cousin’s name, their grandparents’ name too.

29. On average, 50% of messed up hair and body odor means you just had sex the night before.

30. Body type is important in attracting a date. Thin individuals were perceived as Slenderman, and muscular individuals were perceived as being Hulk Hogan.

31. If a woman is interested in her date, she will often look up to the right and smile, wiggle with her toes, fidget with an object such as a spoon, blush when their date says ‘the’, stumble over chairs, or lean back in her chair.

32. Talking about God usually leads to sex.

33. Don’t say that you love Red Velvet Cupcakes and Cream Cheese Frosting and Bacon when you’re on that first date. Leave that for dirty talk in bed. Studies show that women acheive orgam faster when you whisper delicious food items in their ear.

34. Choosing exciting places for a first date increases the chances of the other person falling for you. Almost 42% of studies perform indicate that there is a definitive link between danger and physical/romantic attraction, so take them one a roundtrip flight to North Korea or Syria or plan a hiking trip across the Mojave Desert.

35. Mentioning your income always seals the deal.

36. Eating messy foods like spaghetti or corn-on-the-cob or lobster just shows how much you don’t give a fuck, therefore indicating to your date that anything goes in bed.

37. Studies show that drinking pickle juice before you kiss increases serotonin levels by over 9000%.

38. Research shows that men fall in love and the women fall in love too.

39. Millennials are taking digital breakups to another level and Tweeting breakups in record numbers (and in less characters!):

w’re dun @CLARISSA_SAY_IT_ALL

40. Columbus Day is the best holiday to take dates on. Research shows that approximately 3% of daters have successfully hooked up at 12:43PM on Columbus Day in Central Park.

41. Girls rule, boys drool, but girls drool in bed when they sleep. They always do and it’s annoying. I mean, studies show that it’s annoying.