19 Signs You Wasted Your Weekend
1. You didn’t actually make it to go do the one errand you had been intending to do all week, and now it’s just staring at you from your to-do list like the never-closing eye of Sauron.
2. You ended up ordering takeout even though you promised yourself you would take the extra time to actually cook something.
3. You went to a party you knew you didn’t want to go to and ended up, as you suspected, sitting in the corner for the majority of it and wondering when it would be socially acceptable to leave.
4. You didn’t get enough sleep.
5. You missed a golden opportunity to have brunch, and yet again went through an entirely baconless weekend.
6. You stayed in when you wanted to go out because you were too lazy to get yourself dressed and out the door, and were soon after bombarded with text messages about all the sweet things you missed.
7. You spent way too much time browsing Facebook.
8. You didn’t listen to the new album you’d been planning to listen to since you heard it was coming out.
9. Even though you’d been promising your friend who lives far away that you’d Skype with them as soon as you got the chance, you spent most of your online time just dicking around on YouTube and were too lazy to put on clothes to make yourself presentable for video chat.
10. You didn’t read even a little bit of a book.
11. Your to-do list looks exactly the same as it did on Friday afternoon, except with a few things added to it, such as replacing all the snack foods you ate.
12. You didn’t work out as you promised yourself you’d do this weekend, even though you bought the sneakers and workout clothes to encourage yourself.
13. You lied about not feeling well in order to cancel plans at the last minute and, even though it felt amazing to do at the time, you ended up feeling like an asshole shortly afterwards because, well, you lied.
14. You ate a ton of food, but nothing that was actually that satisfying or good or special.
15. You didn’t do any of the work preparing for the week ahead that you had planned to do, and now you are going to have to spend the majority of Monday morning doing some last-minute cramming so you don’t get yelled at.
16. The apartment is just as dirty as it was before, and the only parts of it you managed to clean were clearing stuff away so you could space out on the bed/couch/floor. Also, almost all surfaces are now filled with crumbs.
17. You didn’t even blog about anything good.
18. You don’t feel refreshed at all, despite sleeping 15 hours straight one night. In fact, you think you may have crossed the border into “sleeping way too much and therefore being inexplicably tired, as though you hadn’t slept at all.
19. You are embarrassed to tell people what you actually managed to do.
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When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.
By John Howell
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.
By Ed Herro
I realize that one can’t turn heterosexual overnight, but I thought I’d no longer be having gay desires.