Why Are We Still Saying 'Retarded'?

I completely love this.

I totally agree. It’s along the same lines as saying “that’s so gay” … it’s derogatory and inconsiderate. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with the world. It is so important that people understand that using certain words, even in jest, is just not okay.

retard
verb |riˈtärd| [ with obj. ]
delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment: his progress was retarded by his limp.

just saying.

Calling someone retarded is not the same as, let’s say, calling someone gay. Calling someone gay is offensive because you are strongly implying that being gay is a bad quality. Can’t we all agree being retarded is a bad thing? To equate calling people retarded to racial slurs and gay-bashing is to downplay the offensiveness of those things.

Should we stop calling people stupid as well?
It’s not like they chose to be stupid, so it’s unfair to make jokes about it.

.fs

Very cool.

What about all the terms that are derogatory toward women? Why do we laugh when someone says, “grow some balls” or “don’t be such a pussy.”  Don’t get me wrong – it’s good to point out ignorant slurs, but come on ladies.  Stand up for yourself too.

Here’s my issue with this:  It’s hypocritical and I’ll tell you why.

When someone says “that’s so gay” or “that’s so retarded” …. it’s just an ignorant dis:  not a direct dis at your sister with downe syndrome or someone’s gay brother.  If someone was deliberately attacking your sister, well then clearly that’s a different story.

Now you’re also telling me there’s a more thoughtful way to insult each other?  Really, and how is that?  Calling them a jerk-off?  Asshole?  Piece of shit?  Oh yes, that’s more acceptable.  My point is that this is all relative.  Using retarded or asshole to insult someone is one in the same.  If you say something out of anger or frustration or if you just simply think someone is an asshole or is retarded, it’s just that.   It’s when YOU take it to that next level and call it a “hate crime” that it becomes overblown offensive.  Think about it.  You’re giving it more meaning & attention than it actually has.  The real problem is that people should learn to treat each other better, in general.  Saying its more acceptable to call someone an asshole then retarded is just passive & hypocritical. 

People need to stop being such politically correct whiners.  If you’re insulted by the term retarded, so what? I’m not, and there’s nothing you can do, especially writing a little whiny article, that’ll stop people like me from using it as an insult. Because retarded people are retarded.

So we should stop calling people ‘idiots’ just in case we might offend a dumb person.
Stop calling people ‘pussies’ as to not offend the female genitalia.
Stop calling people ‘dicks’ lest someone’s penis has a problem with it.
Stop calling people ‘bastards’ so we don’t offend someone who grew up without a father.
Stop calling people ‘chicken’ because the poultry might revolt.
Stop calling people ‘freaks’ because it might upset circus folk.
I could go on and on. (And yes, this list is meant to be ridiculous.)

You’re being too sensitive. I agree that saying something is ‘gay’ or ‘jewish’ or whathaveyou is offensive, because their is nothing wrong with being either of those things, but being retarded is not a positive thing, so calling someone ‘retarded’ is meant to get the point across that they are mentally slow or developmentally challenged (same as calling someone stupid). It’s not nice, but that’s the point of an insult. If someone were to call me ‘gay’ in a derogatory way, I’d just say ‘Yes, and I’m FABULOUS!’ Because there’s nothing wrong with it… I’m getting off my point, but you might want to let this go or you’re going to be annoyed for the rest of your life. Move on and grow a little thicker skin.

Always being a big part of the disabled community I have tried to stand up and stop people from using the word retarded. Yes the word is deragatory when used improperly, but in some instances it is the correct word to us. However when someone uses this word to describe an inanimate object or something that is not actually “retarded” they are associating their negative feelings toward that object onto individuals with disabilities. To me this is about respecting the entire community and recognizing their strengths and value to society. 

Another note to all of those saying “there is something wrong with being retarded” just like being gay or being jewish or being black, those who are defined as “mentally retarded” do not have a choice in their state. In most cases they are born with whatever disability they have and strive to be as fully functioning as they can, and in many many cases there are individuals who live awesome lives. 

TC comments, you never fail. I love that even a piece like this faces backlash. Hopefully the author knows to ignore it.

Michael Scott’s words of wisdom: 

I would never have called Oscar faggy had I known he was gay. You don’t call retarded people “retards”. That would be in bad taste. You call your friends “retards” when they’re acting retarded. And I consider Oscar to be my friend.

Now, whilst I agree with your sentiment that the word ‘retard’ can be offensive to people with development disabilities, it is important that you distinguish between a *derogatory* term, and one that is simply *profane*. 

A term like ‘f*ggot’ is explicitly derogatory, and will always be a term used to disparage gay people irrespective of the context. The word ‘retard’, (much like the words cretin, idiot and moron), has now largely been divorced from its original medical meaning that would have referred to a Down’s Syndrome sufferer, (thus when using it, you would very rarely be thinking of such a person or using it to attack a disabled person).

Thus, whilst certainly profane and insulting, the term itself is not derogatory. When I first started using the word in primary school, (elementary? whatever you call it in the states), I used it simply to describe people that I disliked. It was years later that I learnt about its link to Down’s Syndrome sufferers.

So be careful when you assume association between meanings.

Retarded is not a term used for people with mental handicaps anymore the term has been relegated to mean something different now, much like idiot and moron.  Idiot technically means someone with severe retardation and moron means someone between the ages of 7-12 with mild retardation. These are the literal definitions of these words, yet somehow no one complains these are offensive anymore. All three used to be medical terms. 
While I absolutely do not condone the use of the word and have stopped using it, my problem with posts like these is that the people who post them tend to substitute another awful word choice for “retarded”. I get really frustrated when people get up on their high horses about using “retarded” but turn around and say “that’s so gay” or call someone a “fa**ot”.

This is a great article. I never really correct people when I hear them say the word “retarded” because I’m so used to hearing it but I never use it. My twin brother has a learning disability. He’s high functioning so you wouldn’t really know it unless someone told you or you spent enough time talking to him. My mom is a family support coordinator for children with disabilities and I used to tutor kids with disabilities. It’s nice that people are starting to acknowledge that saying “That’s so gay” is wrong but I feel like everyone kind of forgets about how wrong it is to call someone retarded.

Thank you. I too have a younger sister who is severely mentally retarded (like, she’s 23 and infantile), and this is my one major soapbox issue. I have no problem explaining my views to friends and acquaintances who use “retarded” inappropriately. (And for the record, I don’t use the word “gay” as an insult, either – I feel they’re similar issues.) No, your friend who got drunk and decided to do something risky for a laugh is not retarded. He’s a dumbass. Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? I’m all for profanity, though, and I don’t think the R-word is profane. It’s just ignorant. 

Ok, I can’t believe so many people are actually arguing with this article. The author’s message is pure and simple: “retarded” is an offensive insult. Stop using it. It’s not going to hurt to go an inch out of your way, and avoid using that term when possible. Stop making such an issue!

This article is retarded.

I think my dog is retarded, and he is totally cool with me say it. 

Sure, I can stop using “retarded” as long as English provides me with better terminology for ‘someone with sub-average intelligence’. I know many of these kinds of people and they need a new name, that is all. Instead of whining though, I think you should veer the cause towards making up some new words and definitions for describing the group. I think you fail to see that the only reason why “retarded” was used for so long is because English lacked a better term for “stupid person” and had to resort to the medical condition of actual mental retardation. It is NOT with malicious intention that “retard” is used to describe people with “normal by medical standards but still below average” intelligence. So yes, you do come off as a tight-ass because your friend did not mean to hurt your sister and he isn’t hurting your sister. This is different than calling something “gay” because the word doesn’t actually connotate positive or negative and therefore by using “gay” to invoke negativity is assuming that something/someone being gay is bad/wrong. I can understand that cause just fine. I’ve stopped using “gay” to describe things because I realized its implications. However, I will not stop using “retarded” until a new word replaces it, even if I had a family member that is mentally challenged (I do, actually). 

I’m sure a lot of people has said this already but I think the issue I have with this article is that while I really do sympathize with the author and her family, I don’t think it’s fair to simply banish the word ‘retarded’ from the vocabulary of all of those around you when there are so many words out there that can personally insult someone. These are terrible examples but what about ‘ugly’? What if I’m hideous or a close friend of mine has serious body image issues? I can personally take offense to the word ‘ugly’ being used derogatorily because it is an actual issue in my life. That goes for ANY insult. I can take personal offense to not just widely controversial insults like gay or black or jewish, but .. insults a lot of us don’t think twice about: nerdy, ghetto, awkward… If I had a hard time growing up because classmates at school berated me for ..trying too hard..or being too fat or.. sleeping around, I would feel equally uncomfortable about my friends using related insults in a joking manner. How can one be so adamant about expelling ‘retarded’ from our vocabularies because of one’s encounter with down syndrome when EVERY insult can be linked in some way or another to something someone can be very seriously affected by. I think if the author wants to bring this up, she needs to consider EVERYONE’S feelings and whether or not they have extenuating situations in their personal lives that might lead them to be more sensitive toward different insults. In that case, she would be limiting all offensive words and essentially encouraging everyone to be incredibly nice all the time. I’m not against that. But I think the best solution is to just to be cautious and considerate of others and joke around when it’s appropriate. It’s my opinion that we shouldn’t have to completely stop using the word, especially when its meaning has, like others have said, evolved and largely dissociated with those with down syndrome. 

This post is retarded. 

The terms “idiot,” “imbecile,” and many others were originally the CORRECT MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY for mental retardation (which is the correct medical terminology now).  But they had to be phased out because they became too insulting.  How stupid is that??

We also forget that “retarded” is a word that means, literally, slow.  If you want to insult someone by calling them slow, have at it.  You’re using the word correctly.

I don’t get offended when someone misuses the term “insane,” “crazy,” “bipolar,” etc. etc. though by following this logic I should be.  I also don’t get offended when someone uses the word “gay” in the same way.  I use those words in the same way, and I’m both those things. 

It’s just a word.  And if someone showed me a picture of their retarded sister to try and guilt me out of saying it, I’d say the same thing to their face.  Don’t like it?  Go talk to somebody else.  I do not change the way I speak because someone else has a problem with it. 

Build a bridge and get over it.  Life’s tough, get a hel…. oh.