When You’re Lonely And Too Busy To Do Anything About It
There’s no hug and kiss goodbye as you head out for work. There are no cute, clever texts helping you get through the day. No quick meeting on your lunch break, no stress relieving phone calls and nobody greeting you at home when you return. The combination of lonely and busy is a unique one. A mishmash of the two is powerful enough to make days spent surrounded by people feel completely isolated. Sometimes the responsibilities and constant human interaction can serve as a distraction, but eventually you’ve got to go home. Eventually you’ll relax on the couch or lay exhausted in bed, and it’ll hit you. There’s nobody there but you.
The lonely, busy life consists of body pillows, concerned calls from your parents and enough missed connections to keep Craigslist running. You only had time to make lingering eye contact and exchange smiles with that cute person in the coffee shop, but you certainly couldn’t stop and exchange numbers. These potential encounters never happen because you’ve got to be here, there – anywhere but the current location where a person of interest is silently flirting with you.
At some point you’ve got to question if there’s a way to spice up your love life or if you’re just really that busy. Some people legitimately spend the majority of their time consumed by school, a career or something that requires a great deal of focus. They find intermissions for hasty meals and quick workouts but the rest of their time is spent sleeping or working. That’s the worst. When you have enough daily obligations to turn down any invites or dates without exaggerating in the least bit about your hectic schedule, that’s the meaning of too busy. And when you’ve got responsibilities and a life to maintain, the loneliness is strongly influenced by circumstances, which is an unfortunate dilemma.
But is it possible that some of us think we’re busier than we actually are? Maybe you have a fairly hectic schedule that doesn’t allow an abundance of spare time, but it certainly has some clear spots. Often times the loneliness is self-administered and we don’t realize it. Consider this – if you have spare time to indulge in Netflix, take a relaxing bath, perform hobbies, etc. you probably aren’t too busy for a special someone. Maybe you haven’t found or just aren’t ready for one.
If that’s the case there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Sometimes we don’t want to give up that “me” time and spend it getting to know someone else. I mean, on paper it’s a no brainer which option sounds more appealing:
Eat like a slob, walk around naked and watch TV on the couch, belly out.
Eat with manners, fully clothed, then watch something that barely fits an interest medium of you and another person. All while your belly is uncomfortably restrained.
The latter sounds pretty unappealing, which is why subconsciously we may be satisfied with our current state of loneliness. Some realize one morning that they woke up with a whole side of the bed open. The only people in their phone log are co-workers. The only voices they come home to are projected from a TV, and in that moment they think, damn – I’m lonely.
The thing about rolling solo is realizing that you have the option of making yourself either available or inaccessible. Everyone is busy these days; it’s just the way of the world. There are meetings, classes, shifts and so many other reasons why we can’t be involved with someone. The truth of the matter is that when someone uses their brief interaction or short conversation with you in an intriguing enough fashion, things will change. No, you won’t become less busy – but you will alter your schedule. You’ll have minutes between those mandatory meetings, hours between those lengthy shifts and you won’t find time for that person, you’ll make it. What has to be realized is that often we’re only as busy as we desire, and as lonely as we’ve allowed ourselves to be.
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3. You’ve searched Etsy or eBay for a cute and inexpensive fez.
This is the first part of a book that I am writing for Thought Catalog. This is a fiction book about young people in New York City. A lot of it is not fiction, and not made up, because I am not sure if I am very good at making things up.
The sad truth is that even if we were to invest all of our time and resources into making ourselves look like somebody else, most of us would not succeed in complying with the ridiculously unattainable beauty standard created by the media.
Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.