Ways You Should Expect To Be Treated In A Relationship
Don’t expect to be treated like a ~~~~~~princess~~~~~~ or a queen. What does that even mean? Do you want someone to obsessively dote on you and serve you breakfast in bed, or do you just want to have, like, a good partner? Give as much as you take. Don’t expect someone to give you foot massages every day while you just sit back and get worshipped. Both parties need to feel wanted and cared for.
Expect to be told the truth. Why be with someone if you have to walk on eggshells with them? Be direct, be honest. If they’re being an asshole, tell them. If they’re being THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER, tell them that too. (Just don’t tell Facebook.)
Call them out on their ridiculousness because it shows that you know them so well. Most times, people WANT to be called out on their BS. They’re just pushing, pushing, pushing, until you’re willing to push back. They like it when you do. It means they’re paying attention.
Expect for them to treat you with respect, to be patient with you, to understand that if you’re being short with them, it’s probably just because you’re having a bad day and has nothing to do with them. That’s the thing: They have to know that it’s not always about them. There are other things happening in your life that don’t revolve around the relationship and that’s okay. It’s not an insult.
Expect trust. Without trust, you have nothing. Your partner should trust you completely until you give them a reason otherwise. If they don’t trust you, if they’re already paranoid in the beginning and try to control you, the relationship is doomed. Because it’s not about you. IT’S NEVER ABOUT YOU. You could be the best significant other ever and it wouldn’t matter because you’re with someone who’s violently insecure and will always find something wrong with you.
Expect to be made to feel good about yourself, especially when you’re naked and vulnerable. Sex should be a “NO JUDGMENT” zone.
Expect differences of opinion, expect fights, expect it to not always feel right, expect to feel a little bit bored sometimes, expect to feel a little overwhelmed the other times, expect to question things, expect to flirt with other people because it reminds you that you’re still wanted by other people who are not your partner, expect to be with someone who loves you as is and doesn’t want to change you. THIS IS A BIG ONE. It seems like so many people get into relationships just to transform someone into another person. Why do we do this? Don’t date a fixer-upper. What’s the point?
Expect to be taught new things. Expect to have your mind blown. Expect to want to be a better person.
Expect your partner to be faithful, unless you’ve clearly discussed otherwise.
Expect to be emotionally supported. DON’T expect to be financially supported.
Expect passion. Expect love. Expect anger. Never expect indifference.
Expect them to hate you when its over. Feel relieved if it’s ever not the case.
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Even as I write this now I am debating whether or not to erase it all together.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.