Unsolicited Advice For Women Who Date The Wrong Men

this wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be.

however, not all girls are “smart, funny, beautiful,” and “kind”. we should start nipping that line in the bud. if you’re going to be as honest as this piece is about men, let’s not overhype every woman either.

this article was awesome, but i have to say..why should i listen to you, anyway? you’re a virgin who can’t drive.

I was with you until the bit about men not agonising over every clue. A lot of them do actually.

This is so pathetically trite and banal, practically platitudinous. Not that TC is some amazing bastion of high-concept written-word, but I’m surprised this passed judgment.

“You are a smart, funny, beautiful, kind, busy woman and you don’t have time to waste with “eh” guys who call you once in a while when they’re bored on a Thursday night.”

I almost threw up.

“Then she goes on a date with a guy who looks her in the eye and tells her every guy who has passed on being with her is an idiot”

And then she tells all of her friends that he’s really nice, but he’s kind of boring and pines over the other guy.

Because she’s not as smart, funny, beautiful, and kind as she thinks she is and she’s secretly kind of shallow and needs to grow up and mature before she’ll ever find a more mature man.

I loved this. Thank you. Haters gonna hate.

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Guys, this holds the same for girls. If a girl really likes you, her part in the relationship should never be just to wait around for you to call, visit, or text. She would give at least half the effort you’re giving just to be with her. With the rise of feminism, its puzzling to see millions of girls who thinks they should wait for the guy to make all the moves. Dude, you’re in a relationship and you know who makes the relationship work? Both of you. Compromise. Sure a girl should leave a guy who doesn’t value her, but never assume that a guy wouldn’t do the same to a girl who doesn’t even make an effort to call back. Its too expensive? Um, Facebook? Men have needs too and I’m not talking about sex. It takes TWO to make a relationship work so never, ever assume that the problem is just with him or her. Grow a pair and acknowledge that you are at least part of the reason why something doesn’t work out. Don’t lay the all the blame on the other person. Instead of saying that he’s not the right man for you (as if he has some defect and you’re oh so perfect), isn’t it better to say you’re not right for each other?

the best advice is the uncensored kind. and since you don’t have to worry about “hurting the feelings” of hundreds of anonymous ladies who will read this article, you can say to our faces what our “guy friends” don’t always have the stomach to. thanks, man. i needed this shit. i love honest, blunt advice – it’s really the only helpful kind. keep on keepin’ on, you rock.

and yes, stephanie, i realize you’re a lady. i call everyone man. it’s not cool at all, but i read one too many beat novels in nigh school.

We can’t read your mind, and nobody wants to be the punchline of that timeless joke about the guy who confused a woman’s friendly behavior for romantic interest. I doesn’t take a whole lot*, but there should be an unmistakable signal on your part that lets us know it’s time to man up and initiate something. After that, if he still hasn’t acted then he might be a little too timid for you. If, for whatever reason, his timidity isn’t a dealbreaker for you then your best bet would be to just force the issue on him: “Dude, I don’t know what your deal is but it is pretty obvious I like you. Yes, like *that.* Am I wasting my time here or what?”

I think a lot of us though just want to know that the risk is minimal of being on the recieving end of the not-stifled-in-time surprised laugh followed by, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s just that I think of you as . . . you know–a friend.” On the other hand, if you are tossing out unmistakable signals left and right, and he isn’t timid but hasn’t acted, then you should get out of dodge ASAP. He is just using you for the psychic benefit of knowing a girl in into him without him having to do anything to deserve or maintain it.

*In my youth I was actually quite clueless. Some women had to resort to extreme measures (slowly licking my neck at a party, or spending 45 min. telling me how I’ll never meet another woman like her before dropping her jeans to “show me a scar” on her leg, others…) before I realized something was going on. The current version of me is somewhat more sensitive to signs of romantic/sexual interest.

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In all fairness, the leader of the free world takes the stairs from his office to his bedroom and can be there to tuck his wife into bed in about 2 minutes.

This could really be reasonable advice for either gender.

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i’m 200% positive i’ve read this EXACT same article somewhere else. unoriginal article is unoriginal.

This is clearly a rip-off of “He’s Just Not That Into You” (the book).

hahaha pirateslife4me.

Reblogged this on Noubelle and commented:
Such truth!

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Great essay. True for both genders, I might add, too.

What’s astounding is that two people can actually find each other in this world, and feel this way about one another, simultaneously. What are the chances?

It’s even more rare and miraculous when that feeling lasts for a lifetime.

But, even though it’s hard to find, we continue to search and hope, because it is the most amazing feeling in the world.

Happy, hopeful hunting, everyone. Good luck!

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As true as this may be, I didn’t realise I was reading Cosmo.

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While I’m sure that this advice is true a lot of the time, and I’m sure the HJNTIY theory or whatever you want to call it has probably saved many women heartache, I’m very, very wary for catch all advice for what a man will do in a given situation. I don’t know why I should believe that men are not every bit as varied as women. Can any of us complete this sentence? “If a woman likes you she will __________.” Tell him? Some will, some won’t. Play hard to get? Some will, some won’t. Giggle? Bat her eyelashes? Show you her nipples? Stalk you? Tell all of your friends and hope it gets back to you? Bake you cookies? Slap you in the face? Keep it entirely to herself and never let you know but hope in vain that you’ll make a first move? Some will, some won’t. All of these things can and do happen, but not all women do all of these things all of the time and they frequently vary how they communicate based on the man in question.

But you’re telling me that for all men, with any woman, if he likes her, he will state it? Mmmm…I’m kind of betting that some do. Some don’t.

And I’ve seen some of the bad boys pull a 180, too. But that doesn’t mean the bad boy didn’t rear it’s ugly head once in a while, particularly in the beginning.

Because…here’s another thing about this whole, “if a man likes you” thing…To like someone, you have to get to know them a little bit. So that guy you met at a bar you gave your number to who didn’t call? He doesn’t dislike you. He has no idea who the hell you are.

I know that there are plenty of women out there who endure too many bumps in the road. And I know that arguing with advice like this sounds like saying, “No–but really, you SHOULD make excuses for bad behavior and assume that if you try hard enough you can make a man love you!” I’M NOT SAYING THAT! Let the record show, I’m not saying that. But what I am saying is that this kind of advice is insulting to men, it causes people to be very judgemental of relationships they know nothing about, and while this HJNTIY stuff purports to be anti-romance and pro-realism, I find it to be such unrealistic, romantic tripe that it’s dangerous: If we are made to believe that the only people who care about us are the ones with no hangups, no flaws, no personality quirks–the only people who care about us are the ones with no insecurities, no fears, no hesitation–the only people who care about us are the ones with no baggage, no past, no problems, no obstacles–then we are missing out on an entire world full of people who could love the shit out of us.

Know when to say enough is enough. But I think the best advice is simply to trust your gut. If you don’t feel cared about, then it doesn’t matter if they care or don’t. You don’t feel it, it doesn’t matter. If you do feel cared about, in spite of the fact that a man didn’t text you back right away or has any sort of life that doesn’t revolve around getting face time with you NO MATTER WHAT 100% of the time!!! (“Pssssh…sure you’re mother died last week. But if you REALLY liked me you could at least text me from the funeral”)? Then have a little patience and see where it goes. The end.