Unsolicited Advice For Women Who Date The Wrong Men
If a guy wants to be with you, he will tell you.
If you have to wonder if a guy likes you, the answer is no (or not enough).
When a guy finds a lady he really, really likes, he trips over his feet to get face time with her. (And that’s what you want, right? A guy who really, really likes you? It should be noted this letter is for women looking for long-term. Flings and casual daters: keep on keepin’ on.)
Don’t tell me you’re not smart enough or if only your boobs were a little bigger. Jack Black is married. You have nothing to worry about.
“He’s shy.” That’s fine. Shy guys still have a voicebox to say, “I like you” and fingers that can pick up a phone. “That’s not his style.” Sharing his thoughts with another human being isn’t his style? Is that a quality you’re looking for in a partner? “He likes being single.” The number of bad boys and perpetually single guys I’ve seen do a complete 180 when they’ve met the right girl is mind-numbingly high.
What are we making excuses for? Do you have friends and family who enjoy spending time with you on a regular basis? Good. That means there’s nothing wrong with YOU, there’s something wrong with HIM, so let’s go find the next HIM who realizes what a catch you are.
Can I tell you something? Guys are not “too busy” to text or call you. The leader of the free world has time to tuck his wife into bed, but you think the i-banker you met last week is too busy to dial your number?
Think of a friend. She knows how awesome she is. She’ll look you in the eye and tell you she’s among the funniest of her friends and family. She expects support from loved ones and offers it back in return. And yet when it comes to guys, free “GET OUT OF JAIL” cards abound. It’s not just new guys. Sometimes it’s guys you’ve known forever but haven’t had the heart to accept there’s a reason only one of you has tried to take things to the next level. Then she goes on a date with a guy who looks her in the eye and tells her every guy who has passed on being with her is an idiot. That, my friends, is the difference between dating a boy and dating a man.
This whole thing may sound harsh and black-and-white. That’s because it is. You are a smart, funny, beautiful, kind, busy woman and you don’t have time to waste with “eh” guys who call you once in a while when they’re bored on a Thursday night. Remember that guy a couple months ago that YOU felt kinda “meh” about and never called back? That guy is the love of someone’s life. Drop the frogs and let them drop you so you can both go about finding a better match.
You don’t see guys agonizing and analyzing every last nonverbal gesture for a clue, any clue! that the girl he hasn’t heard from is still somehow interested. Why do we, on the other hand, act like the one cute, kind of nice guy we met in the coffee shop is the last Y chromosome we’ll ever have a shot with?
Stop going on dates with guys whose attention you have to fight for. The right guy won’t notice there’s anyone else in the room.
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Come on people, as if other people’s choices of love affected you in the least. Penguins don’t pull this crap on fellow homosexual penguins.
3. You’ve searched Etsy or eBay for a cute and inexpensive fez.
This is the first part of a book that I am writing for Thought Catalog. This is a fiction book about young people in New York City. A lot of it is not fiction, and not made up, because I am not sure if I am very good at making things up.
The sad truth is that even if we were to invest all of our time and resources into making ourselves look like somebody else, most of us would not succeed in complying with the ridiculously unattainable beauty standard created by the media.