25 Things You Can Do If You Lose Electricity
1. Bug out and refuse to believe it’s really happening. Flick the light switch like, 700 times.
2. Binge eat everything in your fridge. Create wacky meals out of what might go bad.
3. Play hide and seek. Best childhood game ever.
4. Write a radio play and act it out in the dark. How very 1940s of you!
5. Stare out the window and contemplate what you’re doing with your life. JK, don’t do that.
6. Tell real-life scary stories, like the one time you didn’t have health insurance or the pregnancy test you took in college.
7. Read like…actual books….or something. I’ve forgotten what that’s like. I think that’s what they do in Beauty and the Beast, right? Books?
8. Drink whiskey from the bottle. Don’t give a damn what time it is.
9. Literally dance in the dark like Bruce Springsteen says.
10. Pretend this is real-life Oregon Trail or Grapes of Wrath and you’re a member of a pioneer family. Decide who would die of what disease first.
11. Sing every song you know all the way through. Just start and go until you don’t know any more songs.
12. Strip poker. Strip solitaire.
13. Build a blanket and pillow fort. Get elaborate about it Community-style.
14. Clean and organize your apartment by flashlight. Do it in little increments.
15. If your iPod still has power, make a Lights Out playlist. Include “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia” and “When The Lights Go Down” by Journey.
16. Scrabble by candlelight. Romantic!
17. Wonder about when the lights will come back on. Speculate that it could happen at any minute. Out loud, say, “And now.” “Now.” “And now.” Try to see if you can nail it.
18. Play light as a feather, stiff as a board. Do a Ouji board. Bring all the sleepover games back into the mix.
19. If you have a gas stove, try cooking beans over it like you’re an Old West cowboy. Sing cowboy songs that you’ve made up.
20. Try on all of your clothes. Mix and match stuff you would never wear together. Put on a bathing suit and a fedora, who cares?
21. Ball up tissues and play “basketball” with your waste basket in the disadvantage of the dark. Be your own sports commentator.
22. Walk around your apartment and see how well you know the place you live. Could you get around if you were to actually go blind?
23. Drink more whiskey. Pass out.
24. Eat more weird stuff and tell yourself you’ll totally remember this “recipe” and want to make it again later.
25. Have sex with whoever’s there. Or you know, yourself.
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The apartment you lived in your first year out of school, the walk-up with a view of the street.
I wanted to quit my job. I hated my boss.
His eyes widened, he became angry, and backed off of me. I told him he could leave now. Now. He said “With you being a good Christian girl, and me studying to be a priest, I think it’s important we not tell anyone what we did.”
In a fallen world, hope, like faith, is often the hardest thing to hold onto especially when you need it the most.