Things I Did While Watching HBO’s Girls

Jun. 13, 2012
Blake is the author of several books of fiction and nonfiction. He edits HTMLGIANT and reports on books for Vice.

Started writing this blog post

Got up to throw away the ice cream container

Got up and brushed my teeth with this new electric toothbrush I was given and didn’t want to use but figured “might as well use it” since my mouth felt weird with the taste of the milk of the ice cream a while after having eaten it

Took a piss

Rewound the scene after coming back from the bathroom because I heard the main girl on the show make an awkward date rape joke and wanted to see if it was actually funny but it seemed like a joke I’d heard before

Thought 3-4x about plugging in my iPod to update the new album I put on it today before actually getting up and getting my iPod off the floor where I left it to remind myself to do that and the wire to connect it to my laptop and then actually performing the update though then there wasn’t enough room left on the iPod so I had to go through my list and figure out some things to delete that I wouldn’t miss to make room for the new stuff

Some crunches with the laptop angled on the coffee table so I could see it from the floor

Thought about people commenting “wow I actually started to read this” on this post when it is live up on Thought Catalog if I actually decide to send it to Thought Catalog when I’m done which I feel pretty much like is going to happen

150 crunches

Wondered what my sperm count is without actually trying to figure out what the count maybe could be and if it seems like I’m normal or high or low or something based on “ambient factors”

Remaximized the video window and laid down so I would stop looking at the other tabs and could actually pay attention to the show and then immediately realized I should write down I did that and so unminimized it so I could do that and then, and here now I am projecting, remaximized the video window and laid back down, though now I just realized there’s only three minutes left in this episode so I guess I’ll just wait until it’s over and “start fresh” with the maximizing and the laying down for the next episode

Thought about getting up to get the gummy bears from my kitchen table but felt too lazy to get up and get them now that I had started laying down though was not too lazy to sit up and type that that’s what I’d been thinking and while I was at it again with the computer read whatever new tweets other people had written and looked at my Gmail inbox even though the tab said there was no new mail

Pulled up my shirt to see how flat my stomach seemed

Laid back down with the intent of not adding anything else to this list so I can actually for real focus on watching the show until the end of the current episode and then be done with this and hopefully feel tired enough to go bed

Got up and drank a glass of water and stood there TC mark

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  • http://twitter.com/victoriaaa_ victoria parkey (@victoriaaa_)

    deep

  • Kristen

    oh

  • meg

    cool story bro.

  • Zulita Linares

    This is more engaging than any single episode of Girls.

    *Shhhhhhh… now we wait for defensive white girls (and their supporters!) to come out of the woodwork in Girls’ defense.*

    • Katya Petrovna

      Nothing to do with be a defensive white girl. This is literally one of the worst articles (and the least timely) that I have ever seen on this website. Are we not all past the “Girls” thing yet? WHY IS THIS STILL A THING THAT PEOPLE ARE WRITING ABOUT.

      • http://benmajoy.com ben majoy

        and there she is.

      • Zulita Linares

        lololololol this was too easy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/colum.otoole Colum Terence O Toole

    “Today I did a poo. Thought about people commenting “wow I actually started to read this” on this post when it is live up on Thought Catalog if I actually decide to send it to Thought Catalog when I’m done which I feel pretty much like is going to happen”

  • Gabbi

    this post was a huge waste of time/who cares/we get it, some people don’t like girls, everyone is over it. you’re not funny, bro.

    thought catalog is going down hill.

  • Kalyn

    Well that was two minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
    This is like a bad diary entry.

  • Nietzsche

    Sleep? The first few episodes were somewhat original and engaging, however it quickly went downhill like this hipster girl peeing herself for the sake of indie art. I’m positive the main character and show creator is related to this girl. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9lmvX00TLY

  • Jeannie

    Uh huh..

    Thought Catalog should probably take “illuminating and informative” down from their “about” page.

  • ponybangs

    Things I did while reading this thought:

    - eat my cookie
    - dump my keyboard upside down to get rid of the crumbs
    - re read the same sentence
    - open a new tab to play some music
    - come back to the article a half hour late to re read the same sentence
    - reply to a couple of texts
    - realize that I keep reading the same thing over and over
    - scroll down to see if this article contains anything intriguing.
    - realize it wasn’t worth reading through

  • Things I did while reading this post

    Took a shit.
    Still taking a shit.
    Going to wipe my ass now.
    Put my iPhone down to stand up and wash my hands.

    Poetry

  • Brian McElmurry

    Blake Butler is punk rock. He doesn’t want you to like him. This was amusing.

  • KittyLuv

    So……. it’s permitted to write entries for this site even if one is an autistic ADHD flea who’s tweaking on sugar (or worse) and is in the middle stages of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Dude, an episode of Girls lasts, like, 25 minutes. Light somewhere.

  • Zan

    The best bit about this article is how much Blake is like Adam.

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    [...] Though intelligent, critically acclaimed, and down-to-earth, you are completely insufferable yet nobody will have the heart to tell you until at least 2014. [...]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/09/what-your-favorite-hbo-show-says-about-you/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    [...] Though intelligent, critically acclaimed, and down-to-earth, you are completely insufferable yet nobody will have the heart to tell you until at least 2014. [...]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/dont-pretend-that-youre-not-excited-for-season-two-of-girls/ Don’t Pretend That You’re Not Excited For Season Two Of Girls | Thought Catalog

    [...] looks great. I’m so happy to have these ladies back in my life. My Sundays were so empty and meaningless without them. Starting January 13, I am [...]

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