The Woman

Mar. 15, 2012
Natt enjoys smelling things, eating soup and has published poetry in books you've never heard of. She hails ...
“I will remember the kisses, our lips raw with love and how you gave me everything you had and how I offered you what was left of me and I will remember your small room the feel of you, the light in the window, your records, your books, our morning coffee, our noons our nights, our bodies spilled together sleeping, the tiny flowing currents, immediate and forever, your leg my leg, your arm my arm, your smile and the warmth of you who made me laugh again.” ? Charles Bukowski

I imagine her dark hair was probably waist-length. She would wake up from her hungover slumber and run her fingers through it in lieu of a comb. Maybe she would braid it and pin it up in the back, tiny ringlets, a tribute to Shirley Temple in the film Heidi. She probably owned a big floppy hat, yellow or perhaps moss green with a polka dot ribbon wrapped around the base. She would put her feet up on the dash and he would drive along the California coastline. I’m sure she smelled of sea salt and lilacs, not lilacs, maybe lavender. She smelled like purple.

Her eyes were probably heavy, heavy carrying the burden of the pain she had seen. Perhaps an alcoholic father whose love of the bottle forced the family apart or maybe an automobile accident she witnessed and could not help and I’m sure she really would have wanted to. Heavy eyes but trusting and kind. The type you could see juggling clowns and baby lambs in. Eyes that told a story, eyes you couldn’t bear to look at for long.

Maybe she was Hispanic. Maybe she had hands that rolled tortillas and feet that could dance le Quebradita. She would have had brothers. Many, many brothers, brothers who loved her more than themselves but brothers who couldn’t express it. So she ran away. They were probably older brothers.

I bet she loved to sleep, and read and write. I bet that’s why he fell in love with her. Her favourite position was curled up on the front porch hammock nestled between two blue posts of that California Victorian. That house was a place for misfits, for people who cared too much and people who didn’t care at all. She felt too much all the time, too much euphoria, too much sorrow, a roller coaster she got on that had no final destination. She was probably bipolar and chose to medicate herself with sleeping and reading and writing and coffee. Only black coffee, dark like her waist-length hair.

I bet she felt like Sunday morning. Her lips tasting like citrus, juicy and plump, lips that he could bite into and keep inside him. Lips you don’t forget. I’m sure her laughter was contagious, feeling her pain with every whimsical chuckle. I’m sure she was broken. I think he wanted to fix her. I think she would have liked him to but the broken can’t fix the broken so instead they chose to laugh, and sleep and drink coffee and dance le Quebradita.

I’m sure she didn’t want to leave but when things go right for too long she jumps before they go left. Maybe she smiled as she ran, that smile he loved and lost himself in. A smile that inspires, a smile one only dreams of, a woman who is no longer real. Red and raw with love. TC mark

You should follow Thought Catalog on Twitter here.

image – Shutterstock

Cataloged in

Text Size:

A | A | A

  • Guest

    I absolutely love this. Thank you. 

  • http://twitter.com/Bleak_Angelique Bleak_Angelique

    This is amazing. Chills. 

  • angelusgutmann

    Absolutely beautiful. Needless to say more!

  • guest

    Love it

  • Abc123

    perfect.

  • lerm

    “I’m sure she didn’t want to leave but when things go right for too long she jumps before they go left.”

    This was great. 

  • SBG

    “She felt too much all the time, too much euphoria, too much sorrow, a roller coaster she got on that had no final destination.”
    This was great!

  • joyce nancy

    lovely.

  • Extremeknibbs

    Natt Smith is the bee’s knees!! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/nattusmith Natt Smith

      Kate Knibbs is the cat’s pajamas! 

  • Tali

    I think this is about me. Thanks. 

  • Kelly

    beautiful, haunting

  • http://twitter.com/Ouleena Wf

    So great. Thanks for the adventure

  • zara

    This is one of my favorite Bukowski poems and you, sir, did it justice. Beautiful.

    • boherubi

      a woman wrote this. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/nattusmith Natt Smith

      I always wanted to be called sir. 

  • http://twitter.com/PatrishCee Patricia Capiral

    one of my favorites. it has a nice feel to it. makes me want to meet her.
    “I bet she felt like Sunday morning.”
    “I’m sure she didn’t want to leave but when things go right for too long she jumps before they go left.”

  • BD

    I adore this poem and your post was everything I thought about the ‘woman’. Thank you :)

  • Reni

    Beautiful post. Just one correction: it’s “la” not “le” Quebradita.

  • http://twitter.com/SoosSahar Sahar Soos

    this fucked me up. 

    Loved it <3 

  • http://twitter.com/iamthe0nly Jordana Bevan

    it’s called ‘the woman’ and it’s not about sherlock? what this is the worst

  • guest

    This is by far one of the best pieces I have read on TC in awhile.  Thank You.  

  • Stumps

    I don’t usually comment on here but I have to say this was beautifully written.  Very nicely put together!

  • beulah

    God. This is so beautiful. TEAAAARS.

  • AK

    Beautiful.

  • Kaya

    Beautiful. For some reason I heard “When You Were Young” by The Killers playing in the background. 

  • Dee

    Happy you are writing. And beautifully so :)

  • Car

    Who are you? I felt as if this article described myself in such eerie, excruciating  detail that it brought me to tears… I saw myself in it and my last relationship…

blog comments powered by Disqus

Recently Cataloged