The Fiscal Cliff Vs. Other Noteworthy “Cliffs”
Now that the 2012 Presidential Election is over and is no longer front page news, the media has shifted its focus to a new topic: The Fiscal Cliff. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? On the off chances that you haven’t, the Fiscal Cliff is the term used to describe the conundrum our country will face at the end of the year when the terms of the Budget Control Act of 2011 take effect.
Starting to sound a bit familiar now, yes?
In short, major decisions regarding tax increases and spending cuts will need to be made rather soon if The United States wants to avoid slipping into another recession. With all this attention being paid to the economy and The Fiscal Cliff, I thought it would be fun, if only for a momentary diversion, to give props to some other noteworthy “Cliffs.” Cliffs that we have been neglecting lately. Cliffs that, in my humble opinion, deserve some airtime.
1. Cliff Steele: aka “Robotman”
Perhaps not as popular as other superheros, Cliff Steele is totally awesome just the same. The cyborg superhero first appeared in 1963, a character in DC Comic’s My Greatest Adventure, #80. A founding member of The Doom Patrol, Robotman fought for justice alongside Negative Man and Elasti-Girl. According to DC Comic’s storyline,Clifford Steele’s brain was placed into a massive golden robot (created by Will Magnus, robotics expert) after his own body was destroyed in a horrible race car accident, thus bestowing Cliff with amazing powers: superhuman strength, speed, and endurance. He was also given electromagnetic feet that allow him to scale walls, heated-coiled hands which allow him to melt metals, and a visual communicator, strapped to his bulky chest, allowing him to send visual messages to other members of Doom Patrol. It is also notable to mention that Robotman has a hot chiseled Adonis-like golden body and dons sexy tight black trunks, not that I’ve really noticed. Ahem.
2. The White Cliffs of Dover
Like Cliff Steele, The White Cliffs of Dover are awe-inspiring. Over 300 feet high, and 10 miles wide, these majestic chalky-white cliffs are England’s most stunning natural landmark. The cliffs have inspired many artists over the years including Vera Lynn, who in 1942 recorded the definitive version of the popular World War II song: “(There’ll Be Bluebirds Over) The White Cliffs of Dover.” These magnificent cliffs are also mentioned in the beloved poem “The Broken Men,” by Rudyard Kipling: “How stands the old Lord Warden? Are Dover’s cliffs still white?” And who could forget the 1944 MGM film The White Cliffs of Dover, starring Irene Dunne and Alan Marshall? *Fun Fact: The movie’s most famous line is delivered by Susan Dunn’s landlady: “Such a nice young thing. Not a bit like an American.”
3. Cliff Richard
Selling an estimated 250 million records worldwide, Cliff Richard has often been cited as England’s answer to Elvis Presley. With consistent UK No. 1 hits from the 1950s-2000s, it’s no wonder that Cliff Richard is one of Great Britain’s biggest pop artists. One of my all time favorites? “We Don’t Talk Anymore:”
4. Cliff Clavin from the TV sitcom “Cheers”
Portrayed by actor John Ratzenburger, Cliff Clavin goes down in history as one of TVs most celebrated “Cliffs.” An annoying know-it-all postal carrier, Cliff Clavin was the butt of innumerable jokes on the hit series “Cheers,” created by Charles/Burrows/Charles Productions in 1982. Famous for speaking in his thick working-class Bostonian accent, Cliff Clavin was a huge fan of trivia (he even appeared on the game show Jeopardy in season eight!). Here are some samples of Cliff Clavin’s “little known facts:”
Speaking of sweat; here’s a little known fact: Women have fewer sweat glands than men, but they’re larger and more active… consequently they sweat more.
If you go back in history and take every president, you’ll find that the numerical value of each letter in their last name was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected… by my calculations our next president has to be named Yelnik McGwawa.
It’s a little known fact that smartest animal is a pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20-30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner you can eat them.
If memory serves, the umbilical chord is 90% potassium.
OK, I think we covered them all. Now back to the economy.So, what do you think we should be doing about the Bush Tax Cuts…
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It’s unfortunate, but we’re creatures of habit and we’ll hold onto our convictions until we’re literally forced to stop.
You basically have to walk a perfect straight line at all times in Japan because if you veer off at any moment you will almost definitely get mashed by a Japanese lady on a mamabike with three kids strapped to it.
Come on people, as if other people’s choices of love affected you in the least. Penguins don’t pull this crap on fellow homosexual penguins.
3. You’ve searched Etsy or eBay for a cute and inexpensive fez.