9-Year-Old Kid Steals His Parents’ Life Savings, Spends It On Candy
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Chloe is the essence of water. And water... is the essence of life. Email her at chloe.h.masterson@gmail.com. 
Today in WTF news, a 9-year-old Ukrainian boy spent his parents’ life savings ($4,000, kept under the sofa) on what must’ve been a shitload of candy.
In an effort to protect themselves from a theft of this sort, the boy’s parents kept their money in dollars and euros rather than in local currency — in return, the boy enlisted an allegedly mentally-ill adult to help with the heist.
I feel terrible for this family, but mostly the person I keep thinking about is the candy shop owner (who didn’t notify anyone — the missing money was noticed by the kid’s father upon coming home from work). Like, who are you, Candy Man? Would you not be the least bit suspicious that some pre-tween was rollin’ up to your candy store with dollar signs in his eyes asking for his own weight in Coca~Cola gummies?
The boy didn’t use all of the 4K on sweets, if you were wondering — he gave some to the adult accomplice. Also, he couldn’t finish what he’d bought, so he shared it with his friends. Sigh. 
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