Is It Okay To Hate Pigeons?

May. 14, 2012

By Anu Rana info

Anu Rana is a writer. Possibly a poet. Barely an art director. And definitely none of the above. Mostly she's a ...

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I punched a pigeon that was trying to fly through my window. Do you think God is angry, or is s(he) laughing? Does the fact that I’m a vegetarian balance it out?

Since nobody is perfect, is karma really just about doing as many evil deeds as good ones? Should I punch more pigeons? Is punching pigeons an evil deed or a good deed? What if I punch pigeons and save chickens???

I went vegetarian a year ago when I moved to India. I now live around the corner from a butcher, which helps. Every morning on my way to work I walk over a stream of blood and think of saving the creatures it comes from. Chickens. The butcher keeps them stuffed inside a woven basket with a woven top. They sleep, breathe, eat and shit this way.

Around 11 a.m. every day, he plucks out two brothers from another mother. One watches in horror, instead of running away while the other one squeals furiously for 5 to 10 seconds before its life is ended with a clean cut to the neck for all to witness conveniently on a side of the road concrete butcher block. ??One night I considered freeing the chickens as I was walking back home from work, but I decided they would probably just stand there in horror instead of running away or even if they did run away, a street dog would probably eat them. So I figured at the time, a clean cut to the neck is probably a better way to go. Which brings me to the realization that I won’t be able to save chickens to punch pigeons.?

?But I really want to punch pigeons. Is that okay? Is it normal behavior? In college, I had a friend who told me he kicked a pigeon. You have to understand my university had about 50,000 people, and possibly as many pigeons, which is very similar to India. And the thing is, when pigeons are around so many people, they aren’t scared of them; they won’t fly away like normal, intelligent, evolved birds do.

So logically, if you’re running and a pigeon isn’t moving out of your way, what are you supposed to do? Trip? Jump and most likely trip over the pigeon behind the pigeon you just jumped over? KICK THEM! Honestly I couldn’t believe he did this at the time, which means that at the time, I somehow found a way to not kick pigeons or punch them. But that reasoning is past me at the moment, and in fact I am telling you this kicking pigeon story to let you know that I am actually one of the nicer people in this world.

I use my hands instead of my legs (which are strong. I played soccer my whole life). However, even nice people have limits.??

Every morning I awake to the sound of a pigeon trying to make its way into my house by idiotically ramming itself into the tiny crack in my window that is right above the foot of my bed. So realistically speaking, there is no other way to make it stop trying, except to punch it. And it works. And I feel satisfied.

??The thing is, I really love animals, almost everything but pigeons. What do pigeons do? What do they stand for? Can they even stand, or do they just fall over? Do they kill annoying insects for us? Is their sh-t an essential ingredient in white-out? Are they the not-so-genetically-fortunate cousins of the dove? Do they spread more hate than love?

If everyone decided to hate pigeons instead of each other, would this world be a better place?

I think yes.TC mark

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image – Rajdeep Matharu

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  • Lorenzo

    cryptococcus

  • guest

    i like pigeons.

  • L Averbook

    I thought this was about pigeons…and in the beginning it was but then it turned into a PETA then back to pigeons… I wish it was all about pigeons.

  • guest

    why was it necessary to include the story about the butcher? no one likes a preachy vegetarian.

    • Guest

      AGREED.

    • http://baileypowell.com/ B

      That anecdote was in no way preachy. Sorry the way things are apparently makes you feel guilty, and therefore preached to.

      No one likes an overanalytical meateater.

      • guest

        i have been a vegetarian for seventeen years. i just don’t feel the need to tell everyone or guilt people into joining me.

  • Chloe Barker

    I just moved into a high rise apartment with my boyfriend and I am also a vegetarian … and I also fucking hate pigeons. They make the worst noises, wake me up at the earliest possible time, and generally piss me the fuck off. They’re the worst. I sympathize. 

  • http://twitter.com/jadika Jade Thompson

    I liked the butcher story. You wrote it out well. But I also like pigeons a lot.

  • Rosereflet

    seriously? she wasn’t being preachy, the anecdote about the butcher was in there to emphasize her animal-loving nature. Nowhere in this piece does she dictate that no one should eat meat!

  • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

    I always wanted to be a bird…not so I could fly, but so I could poop out uric acid.  Imagine how cool it’d be to defecate acid?  It’s like Alien.  

  • Jenny

    Perfectly normal. I hate squirrels although many people think they’re cute. They’re just about the most obnoxious creatures ever and I would land one a good punch if I could.

    • http://illittorate.livejournal.com/ Sarah

      A squirrel bit me once. THEY ARE THE WORST CREATURES. Definitely punchable.

  • Anonymous

    very sound theory!! while we are at it… can we also punch politicians?? reduction of evil and cancels out the punching pigeons evil… (if it really is) .. in fact, more of good! place is heaven would be secure!

  • SomeGuest

    The pigeons are just lonely. And here you are kicking their frail little bodies as they struggle to find meaning and connection in a vast, unfeeling universe.

    Let the pigeon love you. And poop in your house.

  • Insiya Garari

    hahhhahahahahahaa

  • Poojapillai

    Now, I wish I had thought of something as simple as punching pigeons…

  • Loh Suan Hin

    It’s COMPLETELY okay to hate pigeons. The pigeons in the town i live in have balls larger than my dad (a ranger). They strut across the sidewalk during rush hour. Kicking a pigeon and sending it to flight makes my day.

    Okay, now i’ll start reading.

  • J Ho

    Pigeons: Rats of the Sky

  • Oliver Miller

    If you want to feel more guilty about punching pigeons, just remember that they’re actually doves.  Rock doves.  So this means that you hate doves, all of you.

  • Daniel Brown

    I find it really sad that humans tend to hate any creature that manages to thrive in these concrete jungles we’ve created.

    I think you should really ask yourself not should you hate them, but why you hate them. Is annoyance at the little behaviors a good enough reason to hate an entire species and want to see violence toward them?

    Note I say this from the point of view of a carnivorous, animal experimenting biologist who also respects them.

  • Will

    I think kicking pigeons is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. Here is why….

    The are In every possible way a vermin. They are exceptionally efficient at carying diseases and their existence endangers everyone. They actually carry some diseases that can not be treated. In fact, they carry more diseases than almost any other animal. They are called “flying rats” for a very good reason. It is perfectly acceptable to set rat traps in your house… Why isn’t it acceptable to kick or even kill a pigeon? Just because they are more aesthetically pleasing than rats does not make them better in any way.

    They are also completely completely dependent on human activity and waste for survival. They do not belong to any food chain or ecosystem. If every pigeon on this earth suddenly disappeared, no other species would suffer. In fact, our species would probably be better off. In essence, their very existence is useless.

    I guess they are animals and they do feel pain, but I really don’t think they should be held to a different standard than rats. I for one love animals but I do not have a soft spot for pigeons. If anything, I have a steel toed boot for every one of them.

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