If Michael Jackson Had Facebook

Phil Collins: Can you teach me how to moonwalk???

Like. Comment. 22 minutes ago

Michael Jackson:  lol

Michael Jackson: nah

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Rick James has invited Michael Jackson to play “Mafia Wars.”

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Vincent Price: And though you fight to stay alive/Your body starts to shiver/For no mere mortal can resist/The evil of the thriller

11 people like this. Comment. about an hour ago

Michael Jackson: If you call me up in the middle of the night and laugh demonically into the phone one more time, I’m filing a restraining order.

Vincent Price: I’m lonely.

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Paula Abdul: It was so great getting to meet u last night Michael! Ur so cool! You’ve always been my idolllll! jw what do u think is the best song you ever made?

4 people like this. Comment. 47 minutes ago

Michael Jackson: “Man in the Mirror.” Now chill.

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David Lee Roth: WHEn a pretty girl’s walking up the eskaltor and you can’t heLp but yell out “OOOHeee wawaa waaw waw! Hey there mamma wanna kickstart my engine?” she’s got u revved up, but make sure you keep one hand on the wheel and one on the stick, BABY!

Michael Jackson liked this. Comment. 2 hours ago

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Prince: My sexuality is a cipher, a continually evolving enigma. The only constant is a steadfast desire to push the boundaries between pleasure and pain, beautiful and obscene. The gender expectations placed upon men and women are of no interest to me. I choose only to fuck.

16 people like this. Comment. 4 hours ago

Michael Jackson: Yeah, girls have cooties though.

Michael Jackson: jk (maybe)

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Michael Jackson: Man, recording a new album is stressful! Sometimes I just need to take a really long bubble bath with my chimpanzee “Bubbles” while my butler reads “Harold and the Purple Crayon” to me over and over

13 people like this. Comment. 4 hours ago

Huey Lewis: wtf

Tito Jackson: He’s not kidding, folks – not at all.

Hall & Oates: michael, that’s like the gayest thing we’ve ever heard LOL

Michael Jackson: Says the guys using a joint Facebook account. Pot, meet kettle. I don’t hate on you guys for spending your free-time waxing John’s moustache.

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Michael Jackson: Yeah, I like playing jump rope. I’ve seen The Wizard of Oz like 2,000 times. And I’ve got a race-car bed. I ALSO LIVE AT A PLACE CALLED NEVERLAND RANCH, SO OBVIOUSLY I GOT SOME SHIT I’M WORKING THRU RIGHT NOW CHA’MONNNNN

3 people like this. Comment. 2 hours ago

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Michael Jackson changed his profile picture.

Like. Comment. 43 minutes ago

Janet Jackson: MICHAEL! My god, what have you done to yourself??? You’re a black man, not a white woman… :(

George Michael: Seriously Michael? Good God. What’d you do to your freaking nose? You look like Demi Moore melted.

The Crypt Keeper: lmfao dude

Michael Jackson: Where’s my boy Culkin at? He’ll tell all y’all to shut the hell up!

Macaulay Culkin: STFU FOOLS

Michael Jackson: Be easy, Culkin.

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Rick James has invited Michael Jackson to play “Pot Farm.”

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Michael Jackson is in a relationship with Lisa Marie Presley.

9 people like this. Comment. about an hour ago

Michael Bolton: Really, Elvis Presley’s daughter? Wow, seems totally authentic. Yupp, definitely not contrived at all.

Michael Jackson: Suck it, you assclown. You make Bryan Adams look like Bob Dylan.

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Eddie Murphy: Hey Michael, wanna be in my new movie “OMG DAD”?  I play a speech writer for the President who happens to also be a single father. Unfortunately, his job is so demanding that he never has time for his lonely daughter. That is, until he gets struck by lightning while texting her – from that moment on, he can only say things that have been texted to him by his daughter! They’ll have to work together to get the President re-elected! You can play my daughter or the first lady or something, we’ll figure it out. It’ll be gold – just like the “Remember the Time” video!

Like. Comment. 3 hours ago

Michael Jackson: I asked my agent if I could be in it and he threatened to kidnap me and hide me in a safe room until you stopped making movies.

Eddie Murphy: It’s all good! I’m so f’n rich!

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Michael Jackson likes “Rhythm and Blues.” Like this page.

Michael Jackson likes “Amusement Parks.” Like this page.

Michael Jackson likes “sleepovers.” Like this page.

Lionel Richie: Dude, you know other ppl can see what you like, right?

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Michael Jackson: Gee whiz, there sure isn’t anything better than the sight of a lady’s breasts. I just wanted to share that thought with you in a spontaneous act of whimsy which certainly wasn’t vehemently encouraged by my legal defense team. I also enjoy both the external and internal components of the “vagina.”

Jon Bon Jovi likes this. Comment. 4 minutes ago

Jon Bon Jovi: Haha this is so awesome. Why is vagina in quotes?

Rick James has invited Michael Jackson to the event “All Night Cocaine Orgy.”

Michael Jackson: Please get help, Rick.

Rick James: The inside of my mouth is sweaty.

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Michael Jackson: Man, ppl can’t stop hating on me even though I’m dead. FYI I was only like the greatest entertainer of all times, never mind the fact that I donated millions upon millions to charity and always preached positive messages of love and compassion

Like. Comment. 3 hours ago

America: Yeah, but we’re pretty sure you molested kids.

Michael Jackson: They never proved that! That kid said I was circumcised and it is public knowledge that the King of Pop didn’t have a mushroom tip

America: (vomiting in mouth)

Michael Jackson: Look, I had a ridiculously traumatic childhood. Pretty much everything I ever did was some thinly veiled attempt to cope with the severe emotional and psychical abuse i endured. I spent my entire life fixated on living out an innocent, happy childhood

Ted Pillow: Shouldn’t I get any say in this? I’m the author of this thing, after all. Like, I’ve written this entire 3-way conversation.

Michael Jackson: stay out of this you self-indulgent hack. It’s meta enough as it is. What do you think this is, a Kurt Vonnegut book?

America: Look Michael, we still love you in some obsessive, deranged way. In fact, all your flaws only make you a more compelling figure. Let’s just admit this thing’s pretty complicated.

Michael Jackson: Cha’mon.
America and Michael Jackson have changed their relationship from “Separated” to “It’s Complicated.”

22 people likes this. Comment. 12 minutes ago

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