I Won’t Ever Get Divorced
I’m not married, but one day I hope to be. When that time comes it doesn’t matter if struggles arise, or unhappy patches happen – I’ll fix them. I don’t believe in divorce because it goes against everything I believe in. With such high divorce rates, it’s questionable why people are getting married hastily if they aren’t firm on their decision.
It’s often treated like buying a new car and eventually getting sick of it. At first people are so happy and proud to have their new wheels. They put the vehicle on full display when it’s acquired. You see them driving it everywhere, keeping it clean, doing scheduled maintenance, the whole nine. Then one day maybe it’ll blow a head gasket. Instead of fixing that damaged part, folks are readily prepared to trade it in for a new one.
When you’ve never actually been married, people tend to tell you that you don’t know what you’re talking about. That it’s so much harder than it looks and people grow apart, but I don’t buy that. If someone gets married because their companion is wealthy or they rushed into it, that’s a very foolish move on their part. When two people get married for the right reason – love, then they have no excuse for not pushing through and persevering.
In a love-based marriage, I don’t believe love can’t just go away. There was probably a point where the two parties involved wanted each other more than anything else in the world. In all likelihood they couldn’t fathom the thought of themselves apart when the relationship first began. But after spending days, months and years together, that love simply disintegrates? That’s bullsh-t. The problem is that new car effect. After a lengthy stretch together, the showing off stops. The constant washes, the precautionary maintenance, the caring; it all slows down. What if it’s preserved though? What if the two people never let each other feel anything less than brand new? I know it’s farfetched and preposterous to think that every single day will be blissful, and there won’t be periods where two people are simply sick of each other — but that’s the beauty of it. We get fed up with the ones we love – even siblings and parents, but at the end of the day we still love them unconditionally. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.
My personal plan is to find someone who, like me, doesn’t consider divorce a viable option. Someone who realizes that we’re inevitably going to face some storms. That I’ll get on her nerves, she’ll get on mine, and we may even feel miserable at times – but we’ll feel miserable together. If splitting-up is even a possibility in your mind, it’s probably going to happen. With the type of stress, anger, frustration and annoyance we all feel with lovers at sometime or another, you’ll eventually pull the trigger if you’ve made divorce fathomable. I can’t have that. Who wants to feel like every disagreement will possibly lead to being separated? That’s terribly uncomfortable. I hope my eventual wife is just as fixed on this notion as I am. Just as sure that she won’t ever quit, regardless of our irritation toward each other.
There are some scenarios in which divorces must be done. Physically or verbally abusive lovers and cheaters are understandable causes for separation. We can’t be expected to remain with someone who is treating us like garbage, especially when our health is at risk.
I’m not pretending to be an all-knowing individual or some judgmental dude who thinks he can say who should do what — because I’m not. These are just personal beliefs and hopes for my future. I simply plan to improve as a man, and eventually make a great husband. To make my future wife aware that I’ll never abandon her or our marriage, regardless of the tough times. Just seeing the ugliness and hostility that comes with a divorce around me so often makes me certain, I want my wife to always feel like a brand new car.
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The best thing about being a young adult right now is that you, more than any previous generation, have the freedom and the resources to create your own religion. So, let’s get started.
The apartment you lived in your first year out of school, the walk-up with a view of the street.
I wanted to quit my job. I hated my boss.
His eyes widened, he became angry, and backed off of me. I told him he could leave now. Now. He said “With you being a good Christian girl, and me studying to be a priest, I think it’s important we not tell anyone what we did.”