How To Say Goodbye To Someone You Love

Jul. 26, 2012
I write and edit Thought Catalog. I'm a brat. Send me fun things at ryan@thoughtcatalog.com

Throw them a party. Hire circus people to juggle things and invite all your close friends and family. Don’t let appearances fool you though because this is no ordinary celebration. No sir, it’s more of a tribute to the love that was once had and now lost. Order a cake from the local bakery and have them write in sugary icing: “R.I.P. Our love (2006-2012).” Smash the cake in your lover’s face and then quickly hide all the sharp kitchen knives.

Text them frantically, saying you need to talk. Get no response. Think about all the closure YOU need to finally say goodbye, think about all the loose ends that are driving you insane. You want to put the heartbreak in a nice pretty package and perhaps sell it at Tiffany’s. “I don’t love you anymore” bracelet. ZERO KARATS, ZERO DOLLARS. You don’t want this to get ugly. You pray they don’t hate you but guess what? They definitely do. They’re looking at your texts and being like, “No thanks. You don’t break my heart and then get the gift of closure. I have the power now and I’m not willing to give you the satisfaction of a clean ending.” Oh well. Say your goodbyes to the mirror, I guess.

Don’t say goodbye at all. Keep the relationship going and going and going, until there’s nothing left and you’re in two completely different places. You’re sitting next to each other on the couch but you might as well be in Somalia and them in Delaware. The emotional distance is actually terrifying. Now you know that you can understand someone so completely and then not at all. Just like that. And even though it’s terrible, none of you have the guts to cut it off so you just act out the love; you dig deep inside of yourself to access a time when it felt real and you try to bring it to the surface. It’s really quite dreadful and pathetic. Sometimes, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that never get said.

Say goodbye by turning your cheek in bed. Say goodbye when you accidentally tell someone you’re single. Say goodbye when you start to think of your grocery list during sex. Say goodbye when you start to wince when they rub your shoulders. Say goodbye when you find yourself behaving with an edge of ugliness. Say goodbye when you sleep with someone else. Say goodbye when you start to actually hate them for not doing the dishes. Say goodbye when your mind is made up. Say goodbye when there’s no longer a reason to say hello. TC Mark

You should follow Thought Catalog on Twitter here.


Cataloged in

Text Size:

A | A | A

  • Dennis

    This is so true and so good. You’ve described my feelings which I couldnt describe myself. Thanks for the aricle.

    • Gina

      same here….

  • i

    “Text them frantically, saying you need to talk. Get no response. Think about all the closure YOU need to finally say goodbye, think about all the loose ends that are driving you insane.”

    yes.

    and this was fun to read.

    • crm

      amen :(

  • http://ideasmithy.wordpress.com IdeaSmith

    Thank you, I really needed this just now. I hope goodbyes come easier and softer to you.

  • Paulina

    “Say goodbye when there’s no longer a reason to say hello”

    Great ending line

    • Elisabeth

      Agreed.

  • Odcar_Wilde

    This is one of the most painful pieces I’ve ever read. Beautiful work, Ryan.

    • Kenai

      it hurts so bad… i want to cry. but i can’t…

      You’re a genius, Ryan.

  • http://smalltalkcompulsion.blogspot.com Archita

    Hmm mine was 2002-2008. We both got our closures and are great friends now :)

  • http://stretchesoftedium.wordpress.com Aviva

    How To Say Goodbye To Someone You Loved*

    Thought-provoking article, though.

  • Magdalena

    Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so dead on.

  • http://gravatar.com/zachsidetrack Zane.sidetrack

    ” Say goodbye when there’s no longer a reason to say hello. ”

    perfect goodbye they say

  • Rachel

    ohhhhhhhhhhhh ryan so true

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/07/how-to-say-goodbye-to-someone-you-love-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    [...] Thought Catalog » Love & Sex Add a comment [...]

  • Sofia

    This is so nice!!! <3

  • blake

    Paragraph 2 ME right now..

    thanks for writing this!

    if you ever read this, i hope you know i genuinely loved you more than anything and you broke my heart so see addendum 2.

  • http://angbughawnabolpen.wordpress.com pilotbpsfl4902505084584

    The pains and pleasures of endings start with the word goodbye.

  • http://www.facebook.com/amrita.tapadia Amrita Tapadia

    Loved the ending!! Did all of that and only then could I totally say goodbye! :) Beautiful article Ryan <3

  • http://menarcheintheuk.tumblr.com Liz

    Delaware, holler. Come visit us. I’m a friend of Alex and Cedric, the ones who drunk e-mail you.

  • birdieboots

    Just broke up with my boyfriend on Sunday. Still in wallowing phase. This article made me feel better and more miserable simultaneously.

  • womp

    all the bitches love it all the- all the bitches love it

  • George

    *applause*

  • Mariadp

    Ryan this is perfect! Just write a book already

  • Alex

    Gold.

  • http://lifeisfragileblahblahblah.wordpress.com calebhildenbrandt

    This is so beautiful and so sad.

  • meg

    The only other thing that has made me cry was a john steinbeck novel, and now this.

  • Y

    This broke my heart

  • http://groundlessmusings.wordpress.com timo

    Reblogged this on Mine.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Recently Cataloged

  • turt

    I Am A Privileged Creative Type, Stuck In A Rut

    Even as I write this now I am debating whether or not to erase it all together.

    Email us your confessions: anonymous@thoughtcatalog.com. For publication, that is.
  • loveleveteter

    A Narcissist’s Love Letter

    When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.

    John is a novelist, writer, entrepreneur, and consultant, whose best consulting is focused on what he did that others ...
  • A Quarter Life Celebration

    A Quarter Life Celebration

    “I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”

    Sarah has trekked through the nordic forests of Sweden, survived multiple floods at Bonnaroo and studied abroad in ...
  • ofhehkejhrf

    That Time I Was A Gay Stripper

    I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.

    Ed Herro has written for Comedy Central, Esquire Magazine, and Public Radio International. He now lives in Los ...