How To Become The Person You Want To Be

“They stop taking those pills, clutching those drinks, and start deleting those numbers in their phone that might as well be daggers. They take responsibility for themselves.”   
But what if none of these are the problem??

“Flaws have become some sick substitute for a relationship and you take them to bed with you.” I’ve never thought about it like this before, but it’s amazing how much this line resounds with me.

Bravo!

“You’re not just someone watching their own life from afar. You’re in it now. And if you don’t take care of it, it will fall to pieces.”
This is such a beautifully written piece that I think targets the way that a lot of people in their 20s and beyond are struggling with, whether or not they choose to admit it. I am on the cusp of graduating college and moving into the real world and have had to take a look at a lot of aspects of myself that I don’t think I have been completely satisfied with for a long time. In college, it is almost celebrated to be a hot mess and to act recklessly towards all aspects of your life, but there comes a time when you need to figure out where it si you’re trying to go and how you see yourself getting there. Looking at yourself and recognizing that their are some major changes to be made can be one of the most difficult things to do, but recognizing that they are changeable is wonderful.

Love it and, it came not a moment to soon!

<3
i feel inspired to get out of bed now (but not before i masturbate).

Post grad life. 

I don’t know how you do it, but everything you write reaches into the corners of my mind and draws out the truths that I can’t admit myself. In this corner of the internet, you have become something of a voice for our generation.

AHEM

thanks. i needed that :)

Perhaps the invention nicks it
To beyond fire
Onto a level of fairness
Escaping every crack and crevasse
Meaningful delight
From here, places do wait
Intend to disguise
Momentum unleashed
Furnished with desire
Skillfully played
Relinquished control embraces change
Evolution in minutes
Signals sustain feverish insecurity
A powerful display feigned only by
The wild lion in captivity
A hopeful semblance of devotion
Flows if paint
Exist
Now.

Loved every bit of it! Definitely what I needed to read at this point of the evening.

Maybe it’s because you’re a 20-something, but you seem to think that these feelings are felt exclusively by people who have graduated college and whatnot.

I fucked up at 17, I’m about to turn 19 as a college freshmen, and I already have my shit together. Is there something to be said for precocious maturity? I mainly feel isolated from most of my peers, who are working past issues that I dealt with long ago. I help them when I can and I’ve found friends who are “on my level,” but it’s lonely over here.

i regret never making it to the bottom because there’s still part of me that thinks it could maintain the wake up-get drunk-go out-get fucked-go to sleep-wake up-never feel stressed or worried or bad routine for eternity. i like it when you write like this.

“The thing about being a mess is that you eventually do lose control. The self-destructive spiral you’ve been orchestrating gets ripped away from you and put in the hands of something much bigger.”

You may have just saved my life.

this article is so intelligent. thank you.

really proper. you keep reading my daily thoughts. hope you publish some great works because it (to me) is spot on..

“Something that no one likes to admit is that it sort of feels good to screw up.” SERIOUSLY. I’ve sort of baby stepped my way into the realization that every single one of these awful and awfully beautiful fixations we’re lugging around exists because, well, we like something about it. These patterns have momentum, there’s an energy behind them. It’s fun to play with turning off the auto-pilot, grabbing the wheel and directing that energy where we actually really want it to go. My teacher often says that as humans we’re so good at creating patterns, so why not create better ones? Why not put patterns that enable our own unfolding where we now hold tightly to the ones that keep us stagnant and all bound up in knots?  I mean, I like being tied up once in a while, who doesn’t? I think it’s mostly because I know I’ll eventually be unbound.  Anandamayi Ma said that even the most precious golden chains we bind ourselves with will one day rot and fall off.  These patterns we cling to and love ferociously and define ourselves by, not a single one is gonna last. I feel like we’re all moving toward realization, but there’s a lot of walking one step forward and two steps back on the path. I think that’s really okay.  Here we are, each of us in our own unique condition, walking around and screwing up and getting down and getting sick of it and letting go of what needs to go, eventually. It’s cool to read articles like this and feel like we’re all in this together. Thanks everybody. 

this was beautiful. made me choke up a bit. described every feeling i have. hope i can make these changes…. 

This article hit me like I was shot in point-blank range. I’m in the process of figuring how to get my shit together. And oh Ryan! I’m definitely gonna do it! Thank you so much…

Can I just say that I love you more than ever?

I just want to say how great this article is and you’re such a genuine writer. This article is exactly what I need right now. Thank you!

Before I finished the last sentence, I thought to myself that this article could have saved someone’s life. It may be the very words someone needs to hear.  Then I read Sarah’s comment and smiled….good job Ryan!

“You can’t force yourself to care. You need to reach a point where you DO care which can take a long time.” Loved this. The whole piece was something I think it was important for me to hear right about now, so thank you :)

Right. I should probably get out of this limbo.

I feel like, at least for me and my f***ed up situation, I’m just completely afraid of change and afraid of being an adult. I’m 25 and feel like I’m buried in a 40 foot trench. I want success so bad and I want my family to be proud of me but I don’t know the first step to even start the change and digging myself out of this hole where I could be deeper in, even though I feel I’ve already hit bottom. From the first to the last sentence of the article, I thought you were talking directly to me, Ryan. Unreal. To change, do I just do everything the opposite?? I feel so lost.