How To Be A Disaster

Sep. 18, 2012

By Karley Sciortino info

Karley is 25 and lives in NYC. She been writing her blog Slutever for four years now. Her interests include any of ...

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Sometimes it’s OK to go on a six month downward spiral, as you long as you’re chic about it. Basically, there’s a right way and a wrong way to be a disaster. Like, you can’t just show up to your abortion wearing sweatpants. What if you ran into a street style photographer on the way there? Or the way back? Then what? And FYI, falling asleep on the L train with a half chewed piece of felafel in your mouth is not “rock n’ roll,” it’s downright unglamorous. There is an art to being tragic. Below is an A to Z list of things one must prioritize in order to spiral out of control IN STYLE. (Compiled with the help of Ally DeVellis and Adri Murguia)

A

Alcohol
Anal
Art school
Accidental blow-job

B

Boys
Blogging
Blacking out
Bondage
Honorary mention: Birth control

C

Clubs
Carbs (the absence of)
Cocaine
Chlamydia

D

Depression
Dopamine (receptors in the brain)
DJing
Desperate (looking/feeling/acting)

E

Ecstasy
Eating your feelings
Edgyness
Eternal void

F

Facebook
Fucking
Fashion
Filters
Honorary mention: Famous

G

Girls (the gender and the show)
Guestlist
Gangbang
Glamour addiction
Honorary mention: Going Out

H

Horny
Hangover (never-ending)
Hash-tag
Hickey
Honorary mention: human papillomavirus

I

Instagram
Ingrown hairs
Internal bleeding
Irrelevance

J

Jealousy
Judging strangers
Jewelry
Jerking off

K

Kissing
Kill (myself)
Ketamine
Klonopin

L

Lesbian moment
Lying
Lube
Lost (the feeling not the show)

M

Masturbation
Menstrual cycle
Modeling
Master Cleanse (Beyonce’s)

N

Negative (vibes)
Nudity
Not caring
Nightlife

O

Orgasm
Orgy
One night stand
Owing people money

P

Porn
Posing
Pregnant? :(
Peeing on people
Honorary mention: Party photography

Q

Questions (so many)
Queer
Queef
Quaaludes

R

Rape
Rash
Running (out of battery/away)
ROFL (coptor)

S

Serotonin (lack of)
Strap-on
S&M
Smiling (with your eyes)
Honorary mention: Slut

T

Text regret
Tantrum
Turning point (not being there)
Tying bitches up

U

Uterus
UTI :(
Used (doing/feeling)
Underage
Honorary mention: Un-tag

V

Vodka soda with lime (#LowCal)
Very glamorous
Viagra
Virginity (taking by force)

W

Women’s issues
Wondering (always & forever)
Whip
Whore

X

Xanax
X-tina
Xenophobia
Xenon (girl of the 21st century)

Y

YOLO
Yesterday (not remembering)
Y not?
Yeast infection

Z

Zack Morris
Zoloft
Z-list celebrities
Zombie apocalypse TC Mark

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This post originally appeared on SLUTEVER.

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