Everyone Enjoy These Mugshots Of Hot Guys

Jul. 18, 2012

By Chelsea Fagan info

Chelsea Fagan is a writer living in Paris. It's less pretentious than it sounds.

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Have you ever wondered to yourself what happens when hot, primarily white, likely upper-middle-class bros get arrested (mostly for possession and petty theft)? Well, wonder no more — the novelty Tumblr Hot And Busted (which sounds far more vulgar than it actually is) has arrived to tend to all your schadenfreude needs. And it’s all the more fun, in fact, if you speculate their various sordid, bro-y backstories.

Ada County Sheriff’s Office, Idaho

Assumedly pulled over between a championship lacrosse match and the taping for a cooking show about Jungle Juice, Charming Bro displays the finest in athletic haircut, glassy-eyed stare, and smile that says “My dad’s lawyer wins cases like these for breakfast.”

Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, Arizona

Sad Bro is sad. He is not going to have access to hair product, a decent selection of black hoodies, or his long-term girlfriend in the slammer. Sad Bro reflects on his misdeeds.

Brazos County Sheriff’s Office, Texas

Okay, so we can only speculate that Shirtless Bro was detained mid-Abercrombie photo shoot, and was doing something so pressing as to make the application of clothing a formality not worth the extra time.

Polk County Sheriff’s Office, Iowa

It is only fair to assume that Polo Bro had his collar popped upon arrest, but decided that, given the generally somber tone of the whole “going to jail” affair, a turned-down collar was much more appropriate and respectful law enforcement.

Corporate Bro, aside from looking as though he’s representing himself legally, teaches us that a mugshot is no time to slack on our Brooks Brothers chic. Also, we’re assuming his name is Patrick Bateman. TC mark

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  • A.

    “aside from looking as though he’s representing himself legally” hahaha
    Chelsea, you never fail to make me laugh

  • Mrs T

    Ummmm….. couldn’t find any hot black dudes? Maybe a Puerto Rican? Yuummmmsss

  • Boolio

    Patrick Bateman? Any relation to Jason Bateman? I see a resemblance. I WIN ALL THE PRIZESZSZSZ

    • Megan

      lol it’s a reference to the movie, American Psycho. The main character’s name is Patrick Bateman.

      • Claire

        lawls @boolio

  • nightshaye

    I think Polk County may be wearing the standard-issue orange jumpsuit?

    He can play polo with me anytime.

  • marty

    lol

  • Faythe

    corporate bro is lee adama all the way!!

  • Indra

    hahahahahahahha this is so great

  • steve

    I’m a guy. I didn’t enjoy this at all.

  • P. Stevens

    I’m a guy. I enjoyed this at least a little bit.
    Shirtless Bro’s shoulders. Jesus Christ.

  • guest1

    This was idiotic and self serving. You are assuming, because these guys are white men, that they are upper middle class (lacrosse players and abercrombie models? How original) are incapable or committing serious crimes, and have fathers who have lawyers on retainer to bail their kids out of jail. Let’s laugh at the white guys who got caught b/c we know only blacks and Latinos commit real crimes, haha, am I right, Chelsea?!

    • Jessica Graham

      The point of this post just went right on over your head now didn’t it?

    • http://twitter.com/msheidijo Heidi Goss (@msheidijo)

      someone needs to relax…..

  • tarte tatin

    #2!

  • Raquel

    “My dad’s lawyer ‘eats’ cases like these for breakfast.” #theworldneedsmoresubeditors

    • http://twitter.com/char Charmaine F (@char)

      Hmm… But- would “eat”-ing a case be the most logical subject-verb pair in this context? =)

  • kate

    it’s funny because these guys are all attractive and some (corporate bro, dude on tumblr in a bro tank) scream “upper-middle-class drunken mistakes”, but looking at all the faces on that tumblr page is pretty unnerving when you realize that, among those silly bros, one or two of those faces probably raped a child or murdered someone… sociopaths aren’t supposed to be hot.

    • xra

      actually they are, dark triad swag

  • Brittany

    I wasn’t convinced until you called corporate bro “Patrick Bateman.’ Nailed it.

  • Thought Catalog

    Reblogged this on La Dolce Vita and commented:
    HAHA HILARIOUS.

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