Choose Your Own Adventure: Cinco De Mayo

When you arrive, the Mexican brunch place is PACKED. Like, swimming-in-hipsters-and-baby-strollers PACKED. Apparently, everyone had the same idea to have burritos and heuvos rancheros for brunch on, wouldn’t you know it? Cinco de Mayo. You find your friends — there are eight of you, just too many to actually hope to get a table without some maneuvering — and of course, they just put their names down and it’s going to be a 45 minute wait. “Would’ve been better to just get Asian or something else nearby so it wouldn’t be a dumb madhouse just to get food,” you think, but you say nothing because you don’t want to spoil the holiday. Holidays are always stressful because of the pressure to do a template of things that EVERYONE else is also trying to do. It’s why you hate New Year’s Eve.

All this gets quelled though when you see your crush walking up. You shoot them a glance while engaging in conversation with another friend, in an attempt to be nonchalantly sexy but also you know, busy and unavailable.

“Oh, hey,” you say, coming up behind them as they’re looking at the menu. “Just want to see what looks good since we’re going to be waiting a while.”

They smile. “Nice to see you again.” You smile back. “I’m going to head down to the bodega and pick up a pack of American Spirits while we’re stuck waiting. You want to come?”

“Yeah,” you shrug. “Sounds good.”

The walk is nice, and brunch is nice. You all end up paying way too much, with no idea how that works out. You’re a little buzzed and everyone is heading to a rooftop party to drink Coronas from a bucket.

When you get the roof, which someone has decorated with little lights that look like sombreros, more drinking happens. You’re starting to feel super drunk, but not in a tired way from drinking all day, but in an amped-up, “let’s do this!” way. Your crush seems to be having a good time too. Well, clearly this party needs to keep on keeping on! You think maybe some of your friends and the people around you are doing some kind of hard drug, but like, whatever it’s Cinco de Mayo!

Someone mentions they saw something on Facebook about a stripper/mock-donkey show nearby and everyone’s on board. When you get there, a weird guy keeps buying you tequila shots with worms in them, but you take them all. The weird guy offers to drive you all where ever you want to go — and he’s got a bunch of tequila and beer in his Zipcar. You are too drunk to be sketched out.

Your friends are totally about it, but you’re not sure.

You: Keep drinking and everyone stays where they are or Keep drinking and everyone goes with the weird guy.