Checklist For Being Slightly Overweight

Aug. 2, 2012

By Jane Baxter info

Jane is a writer and a student living in New York City.

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  1. Be overly attentive to the way your body looks in every outfit, in every lighting situation, in every photo, at every angle, all the time.
  2. Joke about being fat, yet constantly worry that someone who’s fatter than you is listening and feels hurt.
  3. Get nervous every time someone brings up weight because you’re still not sure what category you’re in. Know they’re just being nice when they tell you you’re “smaller than average.”
  4. Obsess over clothing sizes and always reply that you are a medium when in fact you have no fucking clue what size you really are because the number of pounds over the weight you are supposed to be fluctuates constantly.
  5. Be half-proud, half-embarrassed about your weirdly strong abs thanks to your ability to suck in your stomach with such ease and endurance.
  6. Harbor a deep-seated resentment for short, skinny boys due to their cruel neglect of you in middle and high school. Revel their shortcomings and gleefully diagnose all of them with Napoleon complexes.
  7. Battle with the periods in your life when you were skinnier and when you were heavier. Feel so jealous of your skinner days that you want to cry. Hate yourself so much in the heavier days that you want to cry.
  8. Reject the idea that you could be with a skinny boy because you’ve convinced yourself they find your curves disgusting.
  9. Remind yourself that being with someone thin would reduce the chances that your future daughter would have the same body issues as you.
  10. Decide that being with a skinny guy would just make you feel too self-conscious about eating in front of him and jiggling during sex and how you two would look in pictures together and reject the idea for good.
  11. End up dating a skinny guy and sabotage the relationship with your paranoia because you feel unattractive around him, regardless of what he says and does.
  12. Wonder what the fuck you are doing living in a big city.
  13. Regularly cycle through immense self-esteem, determination, and optimism to worthlessness, loneliness, and defeat.
  14. Sometimes wish you were born really overweight so at least you wouldn’t have to feel so confused all the time. TC mark

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  • http://raycrackthesky.tumblr.com raymondthimmes

    I go through this. Especially number 7.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Nikki.L.Lowson Nikki L Lowson

    I go through this too, number 7 & 13 especially..

  • H

    This is ridiculously accurate!

  • Whitney

    Ha, yes. This post is so accurate.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sherls Caity Sherlock

    all of it. and so much more.

  • mike

    What happened TC?

    I used to check this site and read provocative pieces that challenged my notions of creative non-fiction and the English language. They were brilliantly written, almost esoteric with its audience.

    Now every time I’m on here it’s like “20 Things 20somethings Should Think About 20 Times a Day While They’re in their 20s with the 20s 20s 20s 20s 20s”

    This one here has the potential to be a great exploration of body image for men and women, particularly in this ambiguous middle-weight category. I deal with it every day. But this just seems so indicative of this tweety culture that can’t stomach anything that isn’t in the form of micro-information. We don’t need a list of things that overweight people already think about. We need stories that enlighten and challenge our notions of body positivity. This isn’t poorly written or poorly imagined, just poorly formatted and narrated.

    I know that those who disagree might just say, “don’t read it then”, and you’re right, I’ll stop. But I keep coming back here because I used to be enthralled with this site and its creativity. Now it just looks like a streamlined BuzzFeed.

    • http://oohlalalovely.wordpress.com Lauren

      Three cheers for Mike! Couldn’t have said it better myself.

    • Jk

      I think you’ll find that the TC editors re-organise stuff into lists because it’s easier to digest (so they say). They’ve pointed it out hundreds of times in the past when people have moaned about list format articles. So, you can’t blame the author, it’s TC itself. It’s clearly what the (majority) audience want, so why would they go against it?

      • Margaret Thatcher

        Because that’s what Cracked.com is for. Thought Catalog is for reading thoughts. And I don’t know of anyone who thinks in bulleted lists that I’d actually care to hear the inner workings of.

      • Jk

        So, like I said, complain to the editors about it. I doubt that people actually submit their articles in list form. Have you never seen Brandon, Stephanie, Chelsea or Ryan reply to one of these complaints with “we edit the articles into numbered lists”? Most people have worked out that TC is 85% lists by now. It’s not like it’s something that’s JUST happened. If you hate it so much, why continue to read when you KNOW it’s going to be composed primarily of list articles?

    • http://penispump3000.tumblr.com Bark Muckerzerg

      Amen!

    • http://testimonialcomic.com nishantjn

      If the commenting system was Disqus, this would be the top-rated comment. Cheers!

    • Danielle

      I think maybe as TC becomes more popular, it is getting more articles from mainstream writers…and more mainstream readers. Maybe they are trying to cater to that crowd? :(

    • tiff

      Couldn’t agree more with you Mike.
      it almost changed overnight it seems.
      only 3 or 4 months ago, every article was so much more articulate.
      and these lists… ahhh just stop!

    • Gabby

      I agree.

  • L

    this article is true and real and so close to home it aches

  • http://crapodelic.blogspot.com Naomi

    Love this article. I used to be in this category until I lost weight but I still go through this all the time.

  • erin

    #13 is me, like, every single week! SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://gravatar.com/akamegurl Sarah

    That skinny boy thing is so accurate.

  • Fuhran

    this is paaainfully accurate. and it’s been a struggle i’ve experienced my whole life.

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/08/checklist-for-being-slightly-overweight-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    [...] Thought Catalog » Life Add a comment [...]

  • Carrie

    Number 14. Being slightly above average can be tormenting!

  • Rachael

    This is my life.

  • Guest

    Is this really about being ‘slightly overweight’ or just ‘slightly bigger than stick thin’. As someone who is 5 10 with a BMI that moves between 19.4 and 22.2 – this is all realateable. And comes across as just a standard list of what it is to have anxiety about your body, and guess what even in the healthy range – unless you are an athlete – you’re going to have a little softness. Can we talk about things like that instead of saying essentially that these are concerns of the ‘slightly overweight’ – it just kinda feeds the belief that women who have more curve and might not be stick thin are somehow ‘less’.

  • A

    I can relate to this article, but, I can also say that there are many plus sides to being in this awkward, self loathing phase due to our “curvier than most” body types. From all this self loathing, we manage to build up a confidence unlike others in our body, in our curves. As much as I agree with this, there should be a part as to WHY its fucking awesome we have the curves we do, what we can bask gleefully in, how we can pull off that one outfit because we make an hourglass look like a pubescent girl. It’s difficult enough for us voluptuous girls when it comes to self criticizing. Where are the awesome, FUCK YEAH IM THE SHIT, I HAVE HIPS, list?

  • polkadot

    I am more than aware that all, or at least most of us, have body issues, but being someone who has been extremely overweight I find this article to be beyond obnoxious. Regarding #2 – Yes, people “fatter than you” do hear those comments, and yes it does hurt them.

    • Stripes

      But this is an article about what it feels like to be slightly overweight, though. And of course, people of all sizes have heard someone who is smaller than they are say that they think their own bodies are too big. You’re right, it does hurt. But does that mean that only the fattest person in the entire world is allowed to complain about their weight?

  • Ana

    This is exactly how I feel basically all the time. Especially #3, what do my skinny friend with chicken legs think of me?

    And I don’t know if it’s possible but my superfood salad just made me more hungry.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=922794 Steven Timberman

    Mike, I think we “need” articles that people are writing and make us feel something. To hell with this culture of “what we need are anti-thinspiration, pro-body image positive” wanking.

    This article nails the weird guilt that comes with being overweight enough to feel jealous of skinny people and being thin enough to feel bad that you feel bad about feeling bad about your weight.

  • http://musabee.wordpress.com musabee

    I do all of these. Hilarious.

  • Guest

    “Get nervous every time someone brings up weight because you’re still not sure what category you’re in.”

    YES, OMG YES.

  • TESSA G

    I guess I’m not the only one….

  • J

    Hmm I don’t get #14 at all, why would you ‘wish’ to be actually overweight? As an overweight person trying to lose weight, who’s one day goal weight will be “slighty overweight” you should be either a) happy with your size or b) exercise enough to be at your goal weight, but don’t ever “wish” to be born fat because it’s easier to manage. Psychological studies have even shown that a woman’s ideal body size is significantly lower than a man’s ideal body size for a woman.

  • Emily

    Really great list – not just for the overweight but for anyone with body issues. I’ve been struggling with anorexia for almost five years and although I’m underweight, I still think like this. It’s hard to remember a time when I haven’t. Sadly, I think that’s true for a lot of women.

  • Not a fattie enabler

    Did the thought of doing some cardio, or perhaps not hitting the dunkin drive through for breakfast (again), never occur?

    While chubby chasers do exist, you are correct that many (most [all that I have ever spoken with]) “skinny guys” find your flab to be unappealing.

    • Alexei

      I was wondering when a sad little comment like this would show up. You know a lot people are overweight because of eating disorders right? The way that alcoholics use alcPhil as a crutch, the way that drug addicts use drugs, the way that smokers use cigarettes…overweight people use food. But you wouldnt criticise an alcoholic or a smoke would you? Because that’s like…a thing. Get a life you pathetic little troll.

      • Alexei

        Alcohol* smoker*

    • o

      You’re a douche.

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