Breaking: God Endorses Marriage Equality, Sayeth To Let The Gays Go Forth And Marry
By
Nico Lang is a correspondent and blogger for WBEZ (Chicago’s local NPR affiliate), the Co-Creator of In Our Words, ... Humans, rejoice! This week, The Voice of God boomed over the hills of Earth, sounding His support for marriage equality. After eons of silence on the issue — a time spent in Reflection, Pondering and Doing Whatever It Is He Does — God took time out of His busy schedule of Christmas prayer requests (another face lift, Heidi Montag?) to lend His voice to the Human Rights Campaign’s marriage equality ad.
Here’s what God had to say on the issue:
“America stands at the dawn of a new day. Freedom, justice and human dignity have always guided our journey toward a more perfect union. Now across our country, we are standing together for the right of gay and lesbian Americans to marry the person they love.”
Although Pat Robertson and Mike Huckabee claim to have been direct counsel with God for some time (via Skype, I assume), this statement makes it official: God loveth the gays and wanteth for them to be as miserably and sexlessly married as everyone else. And God said: let there be sweatpants.
Your move, Huckabee. 
Recently Cataloged
-
Why You Should Stop Being A WGG (Wannabe Guys’ Girl)
So in many ways, females have been conditioned to see other females as foes and competition first, and to wannabe guys’ girls.
Kovie is a Communications Masters student and a tortured writer in the Windy City. Her future goals include a PhD and ...
-
7 Reasons Why I Won’t Trust You
2. You’re happy all the time.
Danielle is a twentysomething born and raised in Eagle River, Alaska, currently residing in Seattle, Washington. She ...
-
My Pinterest Was Hijacked By A Bridezilla
People with wedding boards annoy me.
By Danae Kelly
Danae is a normal girl in a world seemingly filled with crazy people. Unlike the rest of her generation she is ...
-
Graduating College Sucks
Everything and everyone becomes so much more serious each year after graduating. And getting together with friends keeps getting harder.
Samantha is a Boston based 20-something who owns way too many clothes and and is openly addicted to teen dramas ...
View Comments
Add Yours »