Big Girl, You Are Beautiful (Within Reason)

let me put it this way. your average human being should not be over 260. unless your 6’3 and just built massisve. 300+? better be an athlete or have a medical condition. like wise if your over the age of 18 and under 103 pounds???? ayyyeee male or female btw ( i used to weigh 265) 

It also doesn’t help when PLUS-sized models are around a size 8 while the average American female is closer to a size 14.  Not saying a 14 is “fat”, but when an 8 is considered “plus-size”, it’s just an unfair situation.

Very well written, gets the point across without stepping on any toes- that is to say, you wrote this in a very considerate manner, and I applaud you. I also wholeheartedly agree. Where do we draw the line?

I completely agree, and thank you for posting this. There is a movement of sorts going around, where heavier girls are saying “Men like curves; dogs like bones.” Although I am all for a healthy body image, when did it become acceptable to attack those who are naturally thin? Especially those who take the time to take care of themselves, eat right, and maintain a healthy weight? Just as exercise can become an extreme and lead to eating disorders, so can a warped view of being “curvy” and accepting every part of you. Am I an advocate for restricted eating and excessive thinness? No, but I am also not an advocate for unhealthy habits and obesity and masking it as “curves” and self love. It’s a dangerous thing to back, especially with the onslaught of obesity problems in this country. As with everything else, there needs to be a balance, which centers on self love: loving yourself enough to take care of yourself, minus over eating and under eating. 

Well said.  And eating healthy food and being active are vital, regardless of the outward results.

I think your assertions are really black and white here. You have made an acceptable cut-off point, even the title smacks of it. Why would there be a cut-off point on beauty? You tend to speak with some kind of authority, that you clearly don’t have, in this article… “do we not have some responsibility to draw a line” No, ‘we’ don’t. The people whose body it is? Yes.

Being called ‘too skinny’ has never made me feel like the ideal or the norm. It’s made me feel alienated, gross, unattractive. 

You made your point so well, and so sensitively, here. I’m overweight myself, and I really appreciated reading this. 

This is very tactfully written, and I agree wholeheartedly. I’m sick of feeling bigger than society’s standards because I’m 5’10 and a size 8. While 500 or 600 pounds is just downright unhealthy and dangerous to set as an acceptable and healthy role model, the narrow norm right now is downright out of control.

If you are 5’10″ and a size 8 no offense and I will be blunt: you’re probably sexy as hell. Skinny rail thin girls are gross unnatural looking

This makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

You missed the point. The author was saying that although FAM is a worthy cause because people naturally come in all different sizes, one shouldn’t glorify the morbidly obese as part of that movement. This is not a question of beauty; this is a question of health. Do you think weighing 400 lbs. as a sedentary person should ever be socially acceptable?

I just wonder who’s business is it to “draw the line” for anyone else? I think that we have grown into a society where everyone seems to think their opinion matters, and it really shouldn’t. I have never given permission for anyone to look at my body and tell me how I should eat, dress, or behave. It’s mine, and the choices I make for myself are mine to make.  I don’t need anyone to “draw the line” for me no matter what my weight is. Why don’t we start paying more attention to the real unhealthy issues like food contamination, lack of basic education about nutrition, and polution, instead of which model is too thin and how much weight the woman in the grocery store is with the cookies in her basket.

I think you’ve entirely missed the point of fat acceptance. The point isn’t that these “morbidly-obese” people are arguing that they are as healthy as a “normal-sized” person, they are instead arguing that despite their allegedly morbid weight, they STILL deserve to call themselves beautiful. Many people who find themselves so dramatically obese have a whole host of medical issues that have put them there, and they, like anyone else who experiences an illness, have a right to call themselves attractive and to exhibit pride in their appearance despite the effects of medical adversity. Do you look at pictures of the singer Adele and say who is she to call herself beautiful because she smokes, for example? Of course not (or at least, I hope not). It’s the same thing here. 

The average American female is also fat.

How is being 5’10 and a size 8 big at all?

”
Many people who find themselves so dramatically obese have a whole host of medical issues that have put them there, and they, like anyone else who experiences an illness, have a right to call themselves attractive and to exhibit pride in their appearance despite the effects of medical adversity.”

So you agree, then, that those who starve themselves and are bulimic have the same right? They are at the other end of the spectrum and probably have a host of medical issues as well. However, our society looks at them with absolute disgust and is up in arms whenever a source supports how they look. Their disease is just as real as morbid obesity, yet, according to you, they still have the right to be called beautiful. Do you see where this makes no sense? There needs to be a balance. 

This article was very tastefully written. I feel like sometimes there is no way to talk about the subject without offending someone! In my family I am 5’9 and a size 8 roughly, and my sister is about 5’4 and a size zero! Everyone is always worrying about how tiny and thin she is, but to tell you the truth she eats as much as anyone else. She even eats more than me sometimes! In comparison, I look like a giant and that’s always made me feel so self-conscious. She always tells me she would kill for a body like mine but every time I see her at the beach prancing around in her tiny bikini without a care in the world I kinda feel like shit ahahaha. I do feel proud of my body but I often feel huuuuge after flipping through Vogue or fashion blogs.

It’s 12:00, and I’m ready for lunch, and I’m hungry.  This article didn’t help.

But morbid people don’t deserve to call themselves beautiful. They are gross and represent genetic problems that lead to a whole host of medical issues. Ew.

I hear this all the time, but I can’t help but feel that it is an entirely false threat. Does anyone really think morbidly obese people are becoming role models, or that allowing them to be displayed without attached criticism is going to make our society aspire to obesity? Anyone? These counterpoints are just a drop in the bucket against a tidal wave of fat-shaming and messages that bigger bodies are not okay. Is allowing these people to feel beautiful in one moment or context really creating a problem for anyone at all? Shame doesn’t help anybody’s health.

Truth. I used to burst into tears whenever anyone said I “looked anorexic” because I was eating 4+ meals a day. It just reminded me that I had absolutely no curves whatsoever and that boys didn’t like me (these things were linked in my mind). And it stayed with me- even though I am much more proportional now I am unable to go out without certain “enhancements” (push up bra- even though I’m a high B) because it’s been so ingrained in my head that I look awful without them.

being obese is not healthy or beautiful.. it is unnatural. the amount of calories that people have to consume to become obese is frankly disgusting. have you seen the diets of obese people? not very good. being bulimic or anorexic is unnatural as well. human beings are meant to average shapes, not stick thin or grossly huge.

Natural is eating a normal, healthy amount of food. moderation is natural. being a normal weight and active. to say ALL body types are beautiful is a double edged sword.  you think obese people are healthy? most likely, they are very unhealthy. just as those that are bulimic and anorexic are unhealthy as well.

yes…
unless all of her weight is concentrated in her stomach. hehheh! jk.jk…(not)

dude get over it, average sized people feel gross too

uh..ok? there are plenty of guys that like skinny girls. it’s not like you have to be curvy to get a boyfriend…  i wouldn’t cry over it..

eating healthy food and being active, for the majority of people, will result in an average weight, maybe even underweight.  people shouldn’t use the excuse “i’m beautiful no matter how big i am” to be unhealthy and eat too much.  being obese is not a good thing..

I agree, and I think the FAM has a lot to offer, especially through promoting concepts like Health At Every Size and pointing out the grim statistics of dieting and unhealthiness of weight-cycling.

a size 8 or 14 can be considered overweight depending on the person’s height. like if you are 5 foot3 and a size 14, then that’s too heavy..however if you are taller, it may be a normal weight..so you have to take height into account, always.

the
fashion world is all kinds of fucked up, so no wonder so many girls are
anorexic. they worship fashion and abide by the fashion rules of what is normal.  this results in low self esteem and undereating. fortunately there is this little thing called “individuality” where you base your appearance on what is healthy for you, instead of what “looks good” in the fashion industry. frankly i think all these girls that aspire to be underweight are pathetic and extremely lost.  they need to get a grip on reality.

First off, I completely support FAM. But  here in the comments,  it is only “naturally” thin people who keep being defended. What about  ”unnaturally” thin people? Why are we targeting the eating- DISORDERED as the root of this evil? It’s a mental illness. I’m not saying we should support this, but it’s not as if it’s a choice. Not all, but many models have eating issues, and it is the industry (where they make money to support themselves) that perpetuates this idea as the standard of beauty, which models and celebrities are part of, but are certainly not in CONTROL of. Blame the designers, or the editors, blame the consumers, they all continue to purchase or create product that endorses an unhealthy lifestyle and mindset. 

And stop calling human beings gross. 

Technically obese and super-obese are two very different things. You don’t even have to be in the plus-sizes to be technically considered “obese.” The super-obese are those who weight 300+ bls and eat a extremely high calorie diet. Even they don’t deserve to be called disgusting though, they are PEOPLE just like the rest of us. A person’s weight does not suddenly make them inhuman, or lacking the general respect all humans deserve and enjoy.

Did you read the article? She just pointed out that obese morbidly obese people are unhealthy.

I can’t believe you or anyone would SAY this!! Where is the respect for HUMAN BEINGS? Do you really think you are helping ANYONE with these close-minded, hateful thoughts? You’re not, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. Everyone deserves to call themselves beautiful. Beauty is not a thing we know from an outside perspective, it is WHO we are that makes us beautiful. 

I agree with everyone who says that this article is well written, though I do doubt that obese will ever be a role model.
I used to weigh 150kg (330lb) at 5 foot 6. I was morbidly obese and terribly unhealthy. I’m now 70kg and can run a 10k without blinking, yet according to society (and my ex) I am fat and ugly. It’s time to start showing some diversity in the media!

WHO CARES if it is?! You will never have a chance with her, so why criticize a woman with a round belly? She might have legs to die for or breasts that science and medicine can only HOPE to achieve. 

How very short-sighted of you.

Well, let’s give credit where credit is due: the push-up bra is an amazing thing. I wouldn’t see that as a reason to consider yourself holding on to past neurosis.

Shut up, Fatty!

“I have participated in it myself, I’ve referred to models as being ‘grotesquely thin,’ or ‘looking like a twelve-year-old boy.’

I personally like referring to them as Auschwitz inmates with melons duct-taped to their chests. I feel like that really gets my message across at how serious this movement is.

You’re kidding, right? I’ve never met a guy who liked an A-cup

If everyone is beautiful, no one is beautiful. It’s a value judgment about aesthetics, not a human right.

“Skinny rail thin girls are gross unnatural looking” is just as bad as saying naturally overweight people are gross looking. Ugh.

then go on the pill. that will fatten you right up for sure.

external beauty is external. sexual attraction and beauty are subjective, but there are generally certain things that people find more attractive than others.  unless someone has a obese or fat fetish, then uh, fat people are not beautiful. sorry.

The “norm” from what I’ve seen living in NC is fat. It’s rare that I see people that are actually lean, munching on apples and avoiding McDonalds. The norm is more like, embracing McDonalds, avoiding apples and obese.

i’m a 16 year old. i weight 90kg, i’m 5 ft 6, and i genuinely cannot remember a time at which i have felt comfortable in my own body. i hate myself. my thighs are too big, my shoulders too broad, my calves too muscley, my stomach has too many rolls.  for me, it is not a case of wanting to cut yourself, or feeling depressed, or eating so little or so much that i make myself seriously ill – it is worse. it is a case of doubting EVERYTHING about myself – all my talents and skills – simply because i do not fit in with what i have been conditioned to think is beauty, perfection. it’s not good getting A* if i people look at me and feel repulsed or feel that i’m some sort of charity case that they should like, just prove they don’t judge by weight. so, believe me, i understand why people feel the need to do this – to make themselves feel beautiful. and i also understand why it is important that we try to make the media less focused on skinny meaning beautiful.
but we put too much focus on  feeling beautiful – it is not something we can measure or declare, it is not fact – it is relative, to who you are, to who you’re talking to – and it always will be. you think that starting a movement to make fat people feel better is going to do much? no, personally, it just makes me feel like we are being pitied – pitied for not fitting in, for being fat. i do not WANT to be an acceptance movement – accepted by who? the very people who have made me feel like an outsider? so, i don’t think we should make special allowances to make everyone feel they look beautiful – it should not BE about looking beautiful. we shouldn’t be telling people we can ALL be stunningly attractive and that the media is lying to us – we should be telling people, hey, you know what, you might not have perfect bone structure or hair or body fat composition, but you’ve got brains or talent or laughter or love or kindness – which are just as important, if not more. we shouldn’t be saying it’s ok to be fat or to be thin or that everyone should just all be treated equal – this makes people think that your weight, how you look is the most important as to making yourself feel comfortable. instead of putting all our focus onto making people feel that their weight is ok, we should be putting focus on the other things that people need to realise make them important – the things that the media tend to miss out on. 

i’m a 16 year old. i weight 90kg, i’m 5 ft 6, and i genuinely cannot remember a time at which i have felt comfortable in my own body. i hate myself. my thighs are too big, my shoulders too broad, my calves too muscley, my stomach has too many rolls.  for me, it is not a case of wanting to cut yourself, or feeling depressed, or eating so little or so much that i make myself seriously ill – it is worse. it is a case of doubting EVERYTHING about myself – all my talents and skills – simply because i do not fit in with what i have been conditioned to think is beauty, perfection. it’s not good getting A* if i people look at me and feel repulsed or feel that i’m some sort of charity case that they should like, just prove they don’t judge by weight. so, believe me, i understand why people feel the need to do this – to make themselves feel beautiful. and i also understand why it is important that we try to make the media less focused on skinny meaning beautiful.
but we put too much focus on  feeling beautiful – it is not something we can measure or declare, it is not fact – it is relative, to who you are, to who you’re talking to – and it always will be. you think that starting a movement to make fat people feel better is going to do much? no, personally, it just makes me feel like we are being pitied – pitied for not fitting in, for being fat. i do not WANT to be an acceptance movement – accepted by who? the very people who have made me feel like an outsider? so, i don’t think we should make special allowances to make everyone feel they look beautiful – it should not BE about looking beautiful. we shouldn’t be telling people we can ALL be stunningly attractive and that the media is lying to us – we should be telling people, hey, you know what, you might not have perfect bone structure or hair or body fat composition, but you’ve got brains or talent or laughter or love or kindness – which are just as important, if not more. we shouldn’t be saying it’s ok to be fat or to be thin or that everyone should just all be treated equal – this makes people think that your weight, how you look is the most important as to making yourself feel comfortable. instead of putting all our focus onto making people feel that their weight is ok, we should be putting focus on the other things that people need to realise make them important – the things that the media tend to miss out on. 

Also, not everyone is beautiful. On the outside OR on the inside. Some people are awful mean human beings. Being beautiful is not a like a participation ribbon you get for showing up to the human race. You’re actually aiding the problem, because being so obsessed with the word beauty is dangerous, no matter how many people you apply it to. Let me point you to GG’s comment at the top of the page… maybe everyone doesn’t have to or even want to be beautiful. Maybe they can do something useful like being intelligent and creative instead. 

I completely agree with what you’re saying. Beauty is special, and it’s in the eye of the beholder and all that… which means people don’t have to agree that every bigger or smaller person is beautiful just because some group, which is coming from a good place, tells them they should just to make people feel better (OR just because society favors that group). That just devalues the word beauty when you want to tell it someone who you really mean it about, aka you find your friends beautiful and your family beautiful and your partner beautiful. No one is a bad person for only finding certain people beautiful, any more than finding a painting more beautiful than another makes you a crappy person. 

And you’re completely right when you say your other accomplishments are much more important than some label of beautiful. Women did not fight for this long just so we could be universally recognized as attractive. We fought so we could run businesses and vote and become writers and artists and scientists. So let’s do more of that, yeah? It’s what will make us feel fulfilled at the end of our lives anyway. 

Some human beings are icky (for whatever reason). I wish people would stop acting like being born makes you super special no matter what you do or whether or not you’re completely awful.

I finished reading the article, felt a great peace, scrolled down to look at the comments and BAM. Nearly naked waifish American Apparel ad. Sigh.

I do agree with your main point, however, that both those people who are put down for being fat and those who are put down as being too thin deserve understanding and respect, since they’re both victims. 

So?

So, all fat people only eat McDonalds and all fit people only eat apples. Good to know, thanks.

PS they sell apple slices at McDonalds.

“too heavy” for who? for you? like i give a shit.

Seriously dude? Keep it to yourself.

It’s not about being beautiful. It’s about FEELING beautiful, feeling okay with yourself. There’s a difference.

I feel like a lot of people in these comments are missing the point by focusing too much on the idea that not everyone is beautiful and we shouldn’t go around saying that they are. No one is saying that! It’s more about the idea that fat should not automatically equal ugly. There are stunningly beautiful women who weigh 300 pounds, and there are women who weight 115 pounds who look like mountain trolls.

Also people who say shit like “real women have curves” and yell “eat a sandwich!” at random skinny people on the street are JUST as awful and mean-spirited as people who make fun of fat people.

That sounds really great, but I don’t buy that “no one is saying that”. That’s obviously not what you’re saying, and that means I agree wholeheartedly with your message, but that doesn’t mean you’re speaking for everyone. There do seem to be people in the comments who are saying that everyone is beautiful no matter what inside and out. And that’s what I disagree with, because of course I agree fat should not automatically equal ugly, but I also hold I have the right to find people outside of a certain spectrum sexually attractive. 

(And of course my real underlying point is we should really be less beauty-obsessed altogether, and try to enforce other more important values.)

“the real women have curves” thing needs to die. so what I am I? a fake woman? 

and no more nostalgia for the old days either. “look how voluptuous marilyn monroe/models of rubens was bla bla bla look at us now” they couldn’t afford food back then either, that’s why voluptuousness was beautiful. because it was scarce. 

standards of beauty will always be unattainable. why don’t we work on making beauty not such a big fucking deal/work on making everyone feel beautiful instead of tiptoeing around everyone’s feelings. 

there are pretty people, ugly people, skinny people, fat people, and it’s okay. let’s talk about real things now  kthxbai

That’s not exactly the answer to having such a fucked up view of femininity. Because the breasts stand for “womanhood” in society those of us who are less endowed will literally feel like less of women.

Besides, I lost weight when I went on the pill (although, true, my boobs did get bigger. I went from a 32B to a 36B)

i can see where a lot of people may jump in defense and criticize this article but i think you make a valid point that is often difficult to make in that we as a society need to promote being healthy – not to just be ‘not skinny’.   that we’re missing the point when we are looking for something to look like – we need to start accepting ourselves for what we are as well as learning that the best way to take care of ourselves is self-care which is sadly non promoted. self-care not only involves mental health but physical healthy. i don’t think anyone should diet, i think everyone should eat what they want, but we should promote people to eat better and really understand what we put in our bodies. its a tricky road and as someone who has often felt badly about what i’m eating in comparison to my much thinner friends, i want to jump up quickly and say ‘don’t tell me what to put in my body’ but when i eat better i feel better. i’ve also taken up things like yoga and meditaiton because its not only a physical work out but a mental one as well that is wholly fulfilling. to each his own in the end but this article is great in acknowledging that sometimes we miss the point by going too far in the opposite direction. the opposite of wrong is not always right. 

Nobody has ever said that fat=ugly. Look at monica belucci, nigella lawson etc..

What is FAM?

By definition, obese people aren’t beautiful:
beau·ti·ful
Pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.Of a very high standard; excellent.

Everyone can’t be special.

And no, I don’t think I’m helping anyone. I don’t care. Do you think you’re helping anyone?

There’s the Fat Acceptance movement, and the Health at Every Size movement, and I think what they both stress is that each person’s health is her own business, and “concern trolling” is whack. Just as it’s terrible to tell a thin person to eat a sandwich- naturally thin or disordered or whatever- it’s also wrong to tell a person who is BMI categorized as obese, or morbidly obese, that they’re disgusting and dying, even if it’s in the “I’m just concerned about your health” trolling like in the article. Health is a personal matter on which only you and the people you wish to include- your doctors, a trainer, your Weight Watchers leader, your friend you eat Chipotle with, whoever- should have an opinion.

I think “glorification” is a very strong word that implies aspiration- and the FAM is all about NOT aspiring to anyone else’s body but the one you have. There’s a big difference between sharing a photo online and people celebrating self-acceptance, and “glorifying” a body type. I think the confusion comes from the history of media praising certain body types as “inspirational,” and FAM and other body positive groups are subverting that tradition by showing all kinds of bodies without the message of “this is how you should look,” but that’s very discomfiting at first- hence this “glorification” panic. 

Smash socially constructed ideas of beauty, and let’s all mind our own health.

Thank you for your reply, but I just want to mention two things:

1. I would not consider someone else’s concern about a person’s health “trolling,” when public health is such an enormous problem–from images being disseminated, to cost on our public health system, to the growing problems associated with increased obesity. This is, by all measures, everyone’s problem, from the super-thin girl in the magazine to the morbidly obese girl on a FAM blog.

2. If you have young people looking at these blogs to feel comfortable about themselves, and they see extremely unhealthy and dangerous lifestyle choices being accepted as “beautiful” and “just different,” without any addressing of the repercussions, how is that not dangerous? And we are past the point of denying that this is a problem that is effecting everyone involved, and it is all of our responsibility to watch what we are saying and glorifying.

The truth is that if this were any other dangerous lifestyle choice, from doing drugs, to smoking, to binge drinking, to constant unprotected sex, we would not allow it to be shrugged off or protected like this. There are complex feelings attached to weight, so we cannot address it as concisely–but it’s taking our country in a chokehold.

I 100% agree.

I love love LOVE a woman with curves, but not so much with heart-problems. 

But why is your not personally finding someone beautiful relevant to anybody else? You’re missing the point. No one is saying “you must be attracted to this person!” they’re just emphasizing that beauty is subjective and comes in all shapes and sizes. Everyone is not beautiful to you, but everyone is beautiful to someone and hopefully to themselves. You’re not obligated to find anyone to be anything.

1.  Fatphobia constantly masquerades as “concern” about the health of stranger’s the “concerned” parties don’t actually care about. If all the people concern-trolling actually cared about health, they wouldn’t be focusing on the appearance of someone’s body instead of what actually may or may not be wrong with their habits. It’s a great way to convince yourself you’re helping by oppressing others.

2. How about because there’s no possible way that they missed the “OMG FAT PEOPLE ARE GROSS AND UNHEALTHY!!!” messages being blasted from everywhere else in our culture? And there is a difference between accepting and glorifying, and I think in most cases the point is the former. Making body the enemy isn’t helping anyone.

1. Are you in the public health field? Can you give me some specifics of the costliness of obesity on our public health system? I could imagine some correlations in the fact that obesity is a class issue, with an increase in obesity the further you go down the poverty ladder, and that people below the poverty line rely more on government expenditures- but as I said, those are correlations, and not causations. I could understand if you were concerned about accessible and affordable healthy food choices, the disparity in the wealth of time to prepare meals and exercise as a family, and the overall lack of education on health- all of which are very valid fields of public health to be concerned about. But I don’t think you’re looking at obesity as an accurate, sociological issue- you’re talking about middle class people who are blogging about their body acceptance, who are probably using privatized insurance. This is from the CDC:  ”approximately 58% of Americans have private health insurance. Public programs provide the primary source of coverage for most senior citizens and for low-income children and families who meet certain eligibility requirements.” (The CDC is the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). So what cost is obesity- the kind of obesity you have a problem with in this article, not the factual obesity I just mentioned- weighing on our public health programs? 

2. You seem to have overlooked everything I said about acceptance vs. glorification and jumped right into “if they see it, they’ll do it!” panic. Doing drugs, smoking, binge drinking, constant unprotected sex- clearly being fat is the new rock and roll. 

I understand that Thought Catalog is not investigative journalism, so I’ll take the time to provide you and any commenters who might have an interest in this topic with some great resources: 
Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight by Linda Bacon, PhD
Big Fat Lies: The Truth About Your Weight and Your Health by Glenn A. GaesserRethinking Thin: The New Science of Weight Loss–and the Myths and Realities of Dieting by Gina KolataThe Obesity Myth: Why America’s Obsession with Weight is Hazardous to Your Health by Paul CamposFat Politics: The Real Story behind America’s Obesity Epidemic by J. Eric Oliver Bodies out of Bounds: Fatness and Transgression by Jana Evans BrazielThe Obesity Epidemic: Science, Morality and Ideology by Michael Gard

Happy Learning!

How on earth are Monica Belucci and Nigella Lawson supposed to be a good example of “fat but beautiful”? Neither of them are fat in the least, they both have TITS, but they aren’t fat by any meaning of the word. Try again.

That’s incredibly rude. I’m an A-cup and noticed that most men just prefer if you have a vagina. 

Chelsea, you claim to be a supporter of the size acceptance movement, but by saying that there’s a weight limit where we should draw the line in regards to acceptance is classic body/size policing. If someone is really against sizephobia/fatphobia, then that means that they’re accepting of a person’s size regardless of if said person is “morbidly obese” or “dangerously underweight.” You’re contradicting yourself here.

I know this is the unpopular opinion, and a bit of a tangent, but I’m tired of people claiming that they’re “being told” by the media that they have to look a certain way, act a certain way, etc. It’s victimizing and it’s bullshit. The media doesn’t direct what people think, it spits back what people want. If what people want is skinny, attractive (yes, attractive) models showing off pretty clothing, that’s what will bring in the money, and that’s what media sources will provide. If people decided that they prefer what the FAM promotes, the media will catch on and start providing that instead. The same argument applies to news sources. Why do they give us explosions, miracles, and celeb gossip? Because that’s what pays.

The media is a business. It has no obligation to change its ways because some people are offended by what it promotes.

“If you have young people looking at these blogs to feel comfortable
about themselves, and they see extremely unhealthy and dangerous
lifestyle choices being accepted as “beautiful” and “just different,”
without any addressing of the repercussions, how is that not dangerous?”

You have no idea what health habits and lifestyle choices ANY person is making, based only on what their body looks like.  None. 

We all know the tall, thin guy who eats junk food all day and never gains a pound.  And if we pay attention we’ll realize that we all also know the short, fat, vegetarian triathlete who eats healthily, exercises regularly, and never loses an ounce. 

Body size does not equal health.  It just doesn’t.  So, looking at a fat person and judging them to be unhealthy is indeed trolling.

I don’t think she’s at all saying there’s a “weight limit” in regards to acceptance, I think she’s saying that there are weight limits in regards to personal health.

But personal health is just that. I don’t think that Chelsea has the authority (nor should she) to draw that line. No one individual should. You are free to make decisions about your own body, but you have no say in regards to someone else’s. Also, why do you care?

By designating the idea of a “weight limit” in this context in itself sets up a divide between “acceptable” and “unacceptable” weight. I can see why you would possibly come at it from a personal health angle, but that even contradicts what Chelsea sets up at the beginning of the piece. She initially claims that size is no indicator of a person’s health, but then goes on to talk about “acceptable” and “unacceptable” weights in relation to disease and “repercussions.” It doesn’t make sense.

I am disappointed that you seem to think that both really skinny people and really fat people should be shamed for their size. You want to hold them up and say, “This is unhealthy. Don’t do this.” But what exactly about them is unhealthy? Are you going to make up a laundry list of habits that everyone who is very thin or very fat *obviously* has? Does this list come from you interviewing every very fat person you’ve met and every very thin person you’ve met and all of them agree that they all do it, or would that list consist of what the media says that very fat people do or that very thin people do?

I want to accept myself as I am and I want others to accept me as I am, without judgement about how I’m “obviously” unhealthy and a drain on society, etc. You can’t tell who I am by only looking at me. My joys and my pains are not that obvious.

I have read your comment over and over, remembering being 16 years old and feeling the way you describe.  And you are right, how people are perceived should be about more than just an exterior.  But it saddens me that somewhere along the line you have come to the conclusion that HAES and the FAM are about pity. Quite the opposite, in fact.  The FAM and other forms of body positive activism are not only against judging a person by their exterior, they are against passing judgment at ALL. 

The point is that we are all people, regardless of our size, our race, our intelligence, our talents, our strengths, our compassions, etc.  The point is to not judge, but to ACCEPT.  Beauty takes so many forms – words, music, dance, art, scientific discovery… what I hope the FAM achieves is that the world learns that we ALL are capable of beauty and that beauty cannot be encapsulated solely by the human body. 

Speak to some fat activists and I think you will find that none of them pity you – because that is, in essence, against the fundamentals that we are all fighting for.  I was a fat, brainy, musical, sporty and artsy 16 year old.  Few people saw the whole package and I eventually realized that when I focused on what they were focused on, I only saw the fat, too.  What I hope is that through FA or Size Acceptance, or HAES, we can become a society of people, not a society of stigmas.

This is what Chelsea is really talking about. Yes, we should accept someone not because she’s skinny or if she’s fat, but because of who she really is. Looks are a small percentage of a person’s identity. However, one should still do something about that. 

I give myself as an example. I may be overweight, but i still have a heart to do something with my life. Be active. Explore the endless activities you can do in this world.  Nah I won’t probably be a skinny type of girl, but I’m still proud of myself no matter what. I am a fat, active girl. And I don’t give a shit about what the media thinks.

Perhaps not monica but you obviously haven’t seen nigella.. Also, I guess it depends on your definition of fat as well

There is quite a lot of research that actually shows that calories are processed differently by EVERY body.  That means that there is no ‘set’ amount of calories that can be determined to be ‘acceptable’ for every person alive.  One person can eat the same amount of calories as another and one can be fat, the other thin.  They have even showed this occurring in twins!

Have *you* seen the diets of obese people? All of them? Every single one?!

Generally it is just assumed that because a person is obese, they obviously eat more than what the person judging them deems acceptable.  You cannot determine that someone’s diet is not very good based on whether they appear ‘unnatural’, fat or thin or even ‘average’. 

Read some studies, there are many, and leave health determinations to those in the know.

Funny how you come down on “concer” seeing as the whole fat acceptance, et al is wholly based on concern. 

You’re being deliberately deceptive and dishonest so I’m going to go ahead and call you out on your bullshit. Everyone knows when speaking in generalities there will be those who are the exception, but the exception in no way proves the rule. This is basic logic 101. 

Then there are a lot of exceptions to this rule, mate.  Just because you don’t like the fact that size =/= health, doesn’t mean its not true!

I don’t agree that being fat is, in itself, a ‘dangerous lifestyle’. I haven’t seen the scientific studies that back up this claim. 

God, the comments on this article are annoying. This is a good article, despite being wrong about a few things. Beauty is always, 100 percent, subjective. You may find yourself beautiful at 90 or 900 pounds, and other people might find you beautiful at either of those weights. As a society, we should praise health, and take beauty out of it. A morbidly obese person  may be unhealthy, but so is a cancer patient — neither are necessarily ugly, neither are necessarily beautiful. We should make the distinction between health and beauty as step 1. Step 2 should be to praise health as a culture. Some of those waif models are in damn good shape, and some of those larger women who post on FAM blogs are the same. Step 3 should be to stop denying what is, truly, unhealthy. (And I think that’s what the point of this article was.) As you can see from these comments, a lot of people seem to think that a 5’3″ woman pushing 400 pounds can be perfectly healthy. I’m not sure why we’re kidding ourselves about that one. If a doctor is telling you you’re not in a good state of health, I’m not sure who gives you the right to say, “No, I’m healthy.” Beautiful, yes. Healthy, no.

Do you understand what a GENERALITY is? A generality is what occurs in the majority of the times. In this case, the extremely large people who happen to not suffer from health problems are in the minority. If you are denying that carrying excessive fat around in your body does not contribute to diseases and various, extensive health issues at large then you are a fucking liar who is so seeped and ego-invested in this fat denial ideology that neither I nor anyone can help you. 

The mental gymnastics that you did there is in a word, unparalleled. Well done, yeah?

What you describe the fat acceptance movement to be in theory is not what it is in practice. In practice it tends to err more on the side of fat glorification. 

With regards to the acceptance movement itself, to the best of my knowledge, there has never been a group of people who have launched an acceptance movement over something that was   largely controllable. It’s just mind-boggling why the advocates of FAM feel entitled to society’s approval of their size and lifestyle when most people intrinsically feel disgusted by excessive weight I abhor and have nothing but disdain for such a movement that is asking ME and everyone else to change rather than them bloody changing themselves.

I can’t believe there are people who are even taking offense to this article as the author was extremely liberal in presenting her viewpoints and seemed to have been very mindful of accidentally coming off as inflammatory. 

It goes to show you when people are so ego-invested in a certain ideology  even the most liberal form of dissent will cause a knee-jerk reactionary response so extreme and filled with vitriol that it comes off as unwarranted for the minor “offense.” If your belief and viewpoints are tenable, they should be able to handle criticism and you should be able to logically explain them to someone else without feeling like you’ve just been attacked. Try to not exist in your solipsistic sphere of emotional content for one second and try and look at things even the slightest bit of objectively.

It’s almost absurd and even shameful that although it is substantiated that excessive fat-carrying is dangerous and puts one at high risks for several different sorts of diseases, there are fat acceptance people who will argue this very real fact for the sole purpose of existing in willful ignorance. It all has to stop.

I personally don’t care about their health. If someone would like to kill themselves via ingestion, they have that right in my book. However these collective health issues that result from an excessively large society contributes in driving the insurance premiums up every fucking year for even us normal sized folk.  That’s just one way in which obesity affects us all. 

I wholly agree. I hate that liberals and feminists alike love to play the whole big, bad, media boogeyman card in place of taking any accountability for their lives and life choices, but the media doesn’t care about oppressing your weak minds. They care about making money and they simply give the people what they want to see. The media cannot create attraction nor desire as these things do not spring forth unsummoned, they do not create it out of thin air. They use what’s already there and exploit it in ways that can earn them money.

You are a liar. 

I was reading thought catalog and avoiding doing my research project of social norms and the influence of plus size models, and I came upon this. So thanks for not letting me procrastinate? Hah

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

exactly. 

please do not write an entire article about how you are a fan of the fat acceptance movement then tell someone they dont have a right to post a photo of themselves in a safe positive environment where they feel loved an accepted no matter what their size. you are completely contradicting yourself. the fat acceptance movement isn’t ONLY about accepting fat people if they are healthy. its about accepting them IN GENERAL. 

and please dont give the “being called skinny hurts just as much..” bullshit. its like someone saying “nothing tastes as good as thin feels” and pretending its inspirational to fat people. get over yourself. Ill start feeling sorry for skinny girls when ANYONE starts accepting that fat people and hideous gluttonous monsters who deserve no respect unless they are a closer to average weight. 

Ragen, I checked out your blog, and you have quite the list of accomplishments. Hats off to you.

But if “successful long term weight loss is impossible”, then how do you explain the existence of people who keep the weight off?

Truth is, most people who reach extreme levels of excess body fat got there through a lifetime of eating poorly. Is it really that much of a stretch to say that were they to adopt a healthier diet, their weight would drop and stay there?

At the end of high school I became depressed and went up to 200 lbs. After realizing that I needed to make a change in my life, I made an effort to lose weight. I adopted healthier eating habits and lost 60 lbs. in a year. That was three years ago. I’ve effortlessly hovered around 140 lbs. ever since. Successful long term weight loss impossible? I don’t think so.

Not impossible, Tim – statistically improbable in the long term.

From what I read of your post it doesn’t sound like you went on a diet, but that rather you made changes to the way you eat for life – you focused on your health, not on a short-term diet just to lose weight. What happened was that your body found the weight that works best for it based on what you fed it, your genetic factors, your movement level, etc. Some people can make those same changes and yet not lose weight because they are not genetically disposed towards it.

Ragen’s comment about the statistical improbability of weight loss has more to do with “dieting” than with lifestyle changes. Lifestyle changes will allow your body to settle itself into its own shape and size. Diets are short-lived and often do not include sustainable changes for a lifetime of healthy eating. HAES advocates health, not weight.

I’m all for natural weight, whether that’s 140 lbs. or 350 lbs. Your loss has held firm, but it is not that way for most people.

I’m all for loving every shape and size where are I have always been on the thinner side, my weight does vary based on time of year and where in the world the USMC has my husband. But I have found that being apart of the military community living in base housing…being thin is NOT accepted. I’m not dangerously thin, for the first time in my 23 years I am maintaining a healthy weight…but damn if I can take my dog for a walk without being glared at and openly mocked by the dependopotamus’s of the military community. I’m sorry I’m thin, I’m sorry that when I gained 20lbs and didn’t like what I saw in the mirror I worked my ass off to change it…There are big women who can wear their weight well and look gorgeous doing in, and there are women who are the same size as those woman who wear the ugly they have on the inside on the out…and THOSE are the one’s I don’t like…the ones that openly mock my tiny ass for being small are the one’s that I look as and say Cow next to knowing that even if I am talking about the large love-able animals in which we get milk & steak from they will assume I’m referring to them!

A lot of TV/movie actresses are A cups and B cups, but they’re still deemed attractive. It’s more about facial structure than any one part of the body.

A lifestyle change (which includes a dietary change) is what I’m advocating. An extreme diet might be required temporarily to lose the weight, but a lifestyle change is required to keep the weight off. I think that’s a given. 

For example, the Atkins diet has been dismissed as unsuccessful in the long term because after people get off of it, they put the weight back on again. Uhhh, no shit? If you go back to eating unhealthily, regardless of the diet you used to lose body fat, of course you’re going to gain that fat back.

So I think our posts are in agreement. All I’m saying… is that MOST people who are obese (extremely high body fat %) are not genetically disposed towards it. Most people who are obese, like my former self, got that way through a lifetime of bad eating habits. Thus if most obese people simply stuck to a healthy diet, they would keep the weight off.

And, yes, I am aware that genetics plays a huge role in how fast your body accumulates excess body fat. But that doesn’t excuse bad eating habits. People with naturally fast metabolisms and high insulin sensitivity who eat unhealthily but don’t get fat are only able to delay their future health/weight problems.

Absolutely agree with everything you said! If anorexic girls are unhealthy then so are the morbidly obese. I think we need to stop adhering to sensitivity and speak truth. But balance is important as well, and people need to realize that size 12, 14, 16 (plus sizes in modeling) does not necessarily mean unhealthy, just as size 0 or 2 does not mean anorexic. BRILLIANT :)

I don’t think she was saying “being called skinny hurts just as much…” at all. I think she was saying that being morbidly obese is just as much of a health problem as being anorexic is. BOTH are equally unhealthy. It is fact.

This is not to say we should hurt people’s feelings in the
process of speaking the truth about health. Instead, we need to be strong and
promote confidence, no matter what stage or state of health that you’re in. You
might be obese and trying to change your way of life, or on the opposite side
of the spectrum in trying to overcome anorexia. The fact of the matter is
no one really knows anyone’s story unless you try to get to know them. This is
why any kind of judgment on appearance is ignorant and unacceptable and that is
where the change in society needs to happen. But alas, it is easy to preach
about, but difficult to practice. A healthy dose of confidence for everyone, of
any size or shape would go a long way.

Maybe it’s not so much existing in willful ignorance as it is following different studies than you are. I keep hearing it’s a “fact” that fat = disease, and yet I can’t seem to find conclusive scientific proof of it anywhere.

Actually, science has tried to proven that fat people on average – or in general – eat more than skinny people. In general, no significant difference has been found.

Body size isn’t largely controllable in the longterm. The weight loss industry is very invested in making us believe it is, but several studies have indicated otherwise. People who are able to make significant changes and stay that way are essentially the 1%. Furthermore, changing your body weight temporarily or repeatedly is much worse for your health than maintaining the weight you were.

I completely agree with you! Plus the women who are plus sized models are not eating unhealthy foods and living a sedentary lifestyle, they work hard for their bodies which I think is often overlooked.  It is so incredibly difficult but instead of saying that someone is beautiful because they have to do not have curves, we need to think someone is beautiful because they care enough about themselves to eat good food and be active; if they do that and they are a size 14 or 2 then no matter what they are beautiful.  However, starving or obese is not a sign of beauty it’s a sign of malnutrition.

What the heck? You only want acceptance for fat people??  No, being morbidly obese is JUST AS bad for your body as being underweight like so many of the models today – it might even be worse.  So, you want to be just like society today who only accepts women who look anorexic. Wow, that’s horrible. We should not accept underweight or overweight!  

Being morbidly obese is a form of malnutrition and is a leading cause of many inflammatory diseases and the second biggest killer of Americans…and you want us to find that beautiful? Just as anorexia is mental disorder and one out of five Americans suffer from an eating disorder…which is not beautiful either.  You cannot tell us to find fat people beautiful if you are not willing to find underweight people beautiful because both are equally unhealthy and sad.  Yes, fat acceptance movement celebrates bodies, but celebrate bodies who eat well and who are active (not professional athletes but walk with their dogs everyday or something) because, really obesity and anorexic/bulimia are not beautiful – they’re just sad.

I could not possibly agree with you more!! I am so happy that you are talking about this.  It’s the truth 600-pounds is NOT beautiful and it should not be celebrated anymore than eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia should be celebrated.  Yes, to all those who are saying that people have a right to be obese and it’s their bodies and their lifestyles but the models who are extremely thin are also just living their lives and making their own choices.  Either believe it all the way or not at all, you cannot claim that obesity is beautiful but being underweight is not because neither is – they are both terrible.  The message that the morbidly obese send out to children is just as harmful – if not more judging on the tragedy of childhood obesity.  I think you are the best writer and I swear this article is perfection!!!!