Are You A Pathetic, Single 20-Something? Congrats, You’re Not Alone!
According to this depressing/odd/overly-specific article on the Daily Mail, if you are a single 20-something who is unable to find love despite being an all around great catch because you are hung up on a former love — you’re not unique!
You are, in fact, just a part of an ever-narrowing series of sub-cultures and categories, this one called the SITCOM, or “single in twenties, clinging on to memories.” It essentially states that you are — like a suspiciously high percentage of your peers — still in love with a former flame and therefore cannot move on, eschewing nights out at the pub for a night at home with takeout Thai food and an inbox full of potential OKCupid dates. According to the article,
A new survey asked female and male members of a dating site the reasons why they haven’t found the right partner. The most popular answer was that the people they meet online do not match up to a previous lover.
A total of 41 per cent of women and 39 percent of men polled said they still had feelings for an ex-lover and this made it difficult to commit to a new partner. Other commitments were cited as reasons love had not blossomed, with 24 per cent of women polled saying they were too busy at work, and a further 29 per cent saying they didn’t like meeting new people in bars and clubs.
Of course, this could be construed as a fairly sad existence to resign oneself to (especially for an age group so young and full of potential), but fear not! There are celebrities who also share your crippling affliction. Both Cheryl Cole and someone named Lauren Goodger (this article is British, you guys can explain that one to me) are open SITCOMS, ready to bear their wounds, inflicted by an ex-love and constantly having salt rubbed into them.
For you see, it doesn’t matter how sad you are. It doesn’t matter how narrow your prospects or self-defeating your activities. There will always be others like you, including famous people, so there will always be a hyper-specific label that describes you. Don’t worry.
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But that’s just the avocados, don’t even get me started on the strawberries. This is California. Second only to weed, Californians are experts at describing their tomatoes in hyperbolic terms.
It’s the body’s way of saying, “Whoops! Time is up. You need to make a change.”
Your Cat Licking Your Face Immediately After It Eats Gross Food
If you look at the world as a reflection of your state of affairs, you will experience moments like these.