An Attempt At Naming All 50 Shades Of Grey

Jun. 27, 2012

By Aaron Marks info

Aaron Marks is a student, writer and programmer of computers. He lives in New York, and has yet to reconcile his ...

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I have not read the book Fifty Shades of Grey, nor do I have any idea what the book’s plot concerns. It has, if only at some low level, pervaded the media for the past month or so, and so I know the rough details — I know that it’s an erotic novel of some sort, loosely associated with Twilight (but perhaps not explicitly?) and that women love it. Still, what the color grey or the many shades in which it comes has to do with an erotic Twilight novel is beyond me. Rather than actually reading the book to find out what it’s about, here is an attempt at naming all fifty shades of grey.

  1. Pigeon
  2. Undiscovered shelf dust
  3. Mystery bruises
  4. Cement
  5. Cement (freshly poured)
  6. Overcast sky
  7. That Liam Neeson movie
  8. Grey Gardens
  9. Alexander de Grey
  10. Greyskull
  11. Unappetizing mashed potatoes
  12. Steel
  13. The face of someone you suspect might vomit
  14. Shed snakeskin
  15. Office carpet
  16. Expensive car interior
  17. Oyster
  18. Greyhound
  19. Newspaper
  20. Unwashed gym socks
  21. Old films
  22. Trash-can
  23. Hair of the elderly
  24. Earl Grey tea
  25. The Earl of Grey
  26. Grey Goose
  27. An actual grey goose
  28. Ashes
  29. Elephant
  30. Ocean (New Jersey)
  31. Grey matter
  32. Mirrors
  33. Hippopotamus
  34. Unpolished tin
  35. Triangle (instrument)
  36. Feeling while playing the triangle (instrument)
  37. Mixed-breed doves
  38. Week-old roadside snow
  39. Worrisome poops
  40. Egg cream
  41. Almost all large buildings
  42. Smog
  43. The moon
  44. Everything, while depressed
  45. Lithograph
  46. Castles
  47. Macbook Air (body)
  48. Puddle
  49. Expired silver paint
  50. Mark Zuckerberg’s Hoodie TC mark

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image – Thodue

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  • Domino

    thumbs up. this is far more entertaining than that pseudo-mom-porn

  • http://gravatar.com/vanitylicenseplate Kat

    I’m disappointed in the missed opportunity of a Grey’s Anatomy pun.

  • Sar

    or you could read the book and then make witty banter about it.

  • http://twitter.com/FailboatSailor Justine G. (@FailboatSailor)

    You forgot “Anatomy” and “Defeated Confederate Soldier’s Tattered Jacket.”

  • http://thebriandonovan.wordpress.com Brian Donovan

    This is very funny. Wish I’d thought of it!

  • http://twitter.com/jadika Jade Thompson (@jadika)

    I love this.

  • http://pocketdoppler.com/2012/06/28/daybreak-doppler-whats-this-w-column-you-speak-of/ Daybreak Doppler: What’s This ‘W Column’ You Speak Of? | PocketDoppler.com

    [...] Good effort here, An Attempt At Naming All 50 Shades Of Grey. [...]

  • http://tabbedbooks.wordpress.com/2012/07/14/the-50-shades-trilogy-review/ The 50 Shades trilogy review | tabbed books
  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-to-win-the-year-2012/ How To Win The Year 2012 | Thought Catalog

    [...] obvious, isn’t it? The ultimate triumph of 2012 came from suburban housewives who read 50 Shades Of Grey and convinced their emotionally distant husbands to tie them up and smack them around a little. YAY [...]

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