50 Things I Don’t Care About

May. 16, 2012

By Johanna de Silentio info

Johanna de Silentio is the combined effort of Sarah Heuer and Chrissy Stockton. They are best friends who drink ...

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  1. What your baby did today.
  2. The weather.
  3. Your boyfriend’s band.
  4. What it means if he usually texts you at 10:15 but today he didn’t text until 10:21.
  5. What price you paid for your outfit.
  6. Interest rates.
  7. What’s under the hood of your car.
  8. The fact that, at first, you thought your shirt was black but when you put it on with your skirt you realized it was navy.
  9. Math.
  10. Grammar.
  11. Why Greek yogurt is better than regular.
  12. What not owning a TV has taught you.
  13. How much you can bench.
  14. What’s inside that hot dog.
  15. How difficult it was to select a venue for your wedding.
  16. The “terrible customer service” you got at McDonalds.
  17. Etsy.
  18. Music before 1960.
  19. That it’s actually faster to drive home the other way.
  20. What you do in the bedroom, if you aren’t my three closest friends or the person I’m seeing.
  21. YOUR LAST GIRLFRIEND.
  22. Libertarians.
  23. “The South.”
  24. Tan lines.
  25. My horoscope, unless it’s good.
  26. Award shows.
  27. Abortion.
  28. Throwing away “home decor” given to me by distant relatives.
  29. What anyone got on the ACTs past age 18.
  30. Leadership classes.
  31. Ugly dogs.
  32. The time you kissed someone of the same sex and “totally” thought you were gay.
  33. Your Kickstarter project.
  34. Art projects.
  35. Boycotts.
  36. Nutella.
  37. Instagram.
  38. Banksy.
  39. Spilled milk/vodka.
  40. CRAFT COCKTAILS.
  41. Anything Ann Romney has to say.
  42. Germs, for the most part.
  43. How offensive “______” is.
  44. Comic book movies.
  45. That the winning “Bachelor” couples never stay together.
  46. That a 6-year-old went tanning. (It was one time?)
  47. How “slutty” someone is dressed.
  48. Carrie Bradshaw-isms
  49. How everyone calls him your “work husband.”
  50. What your puke tasted like. TC mark

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image – Clueless

This post originally appeared in slightly different form at PHILOLZOPHY.

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  • http://twitter.com/RantingOwl 5’6” Owl

    Word. That’s all I have to say.

  • http://twitter.com/jonfaec Jon Brady

    51) Being appealing to most human beings in general conversation.

    • Guest

      Your friends must be so fucking boring if you believe this.

  • sneakypizza

    Puke flavors are actually fascinating.

  • KML

    This is the worst “article” I have ever seen on Thought Catalog. You’re a “writer” and you don’t care about grammar? And a woman that doesn’t care about abortion? Wow.

  • Llamafaic

    Well, if this is true, you probably should have an account on a social networking site. Simple as that. Quit ya bitchin’.

    • Llamafaic

      shouldn’t*

  • Chelsea Powell

    K.

  • http://twitter.com/mattcroyle Matt Croyle

    You’re twenty, aren’t you?

    • DCDenise

      She’s 30 !!

  • http://twitter.com/alalalex alex

    I was behind most of these except for “comic book movies.” What?! Who doesn’t like comic book movies? I can’t even fathom this.

    • Mecarriere

      Haha, that’s what I was thinking! Clearly she hasn’t seen The Avengers yet.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

        Joss. Fuckin’. Whedon.

  • http://jcpart.co.uk/ Jordan

    I think the pages of your moleskine journal accidentally got put on the internet. how embarrassing for you!

  • Nicole

    51) Arbitrary lists on Thought Catalog

  • Seikel

    I agree 50 times.

  • libby

    51) anything human beings deal with it/concerned about/are interested in

  • 30mething

    you must be 20. you will care about some of these things one day. you will. I assure you. especially interest rates and math. one day when you want to buy a house, it will come in handy. you don’t have to care but learn about it now, it will save you.

  • DCDenise

    Sounds good to me with the exception of interest rates, math and grammer. I’ve got this stupid habit of keeping up with current events, balancing my check book and not sounding like an idiot when I talk.

    • guest

      Grammar*

      • Anonymous

        Gramma (Or Grandmother if she’s a little more strict with nicknames)

    • Kirsten

      *grammar

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1490310128 Victoria Bachan

    HOW DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT NUTELLA? your life is a lie, my friend.

  • DCDenise

    51. In depth detail of what you did last night. Keep it brief, I can fill in the gaps, I promise. I’m really good with grammer.

  • pnut

    How can you not care about Nutella?

  • http://twitter.com/ElleCSid Elle Sid

    I hate this. 

    • BE

      Thank you for letting us all know.

  • KelseyB

    I was following you until the grammar and nutella part…

  • Anonymous

    Should have went up a bit more…

    51. Anything my friends/peers care about that doesn’t interest me.
    52. People who think I’m immature and/or self-centered.

    I’d continue, but it would only irk me more.

  • XoSkeleton

    I love this. Sorry I’m not sorry!

    • annie

      hear hear!

  • Louisa

    I have to say, if you consider yourself a writer on Thought Catalog or otherwise, not caring about grammar is pretty poor.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    UGLY. FUCKING. DOGS. Why are you putting them in SWEATER VESTS the poor shits already suffer from HAVING NO MATES.

  • cnavitsky

    Who cares about the things you don’t care about.

  • Leah

    You sound pretty boring.

    • Anonymous

      nay, she sounds carefree. 

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