5 Ridiculous Dating Dealbreakers
1. Someone’s height
Like, I understand if you’re over six feet tall and aren’t interested in having a Gary Coleman moment but if it’s just a matter of a few inches, IS HEIGHT REALLY THAT BIG OF A DEAL? I’ve known so many of my girlfriends who legit won’t talk to a guy unless he’s a few inches taller than them. If they’re only, say, 5 foot 9, then forget about it. They’re immediately removed from consideration. I get that in a lot of these cases it has to do with simple physical attraction (height is a preference, just like anything else) but I really think women in particular judge too harshly when it comes to a man’s height. I’m almost six foot and I once dated a dude who was almost seven inches shorter than me. Was his height ideal? No, but at the end of the day, who gives a shit? He was sweet and made me happy. I wasn’t going to let something as silly as height prevent me from being with a solid guy. You shouldn’t either! (I also think that desiring a man who’s super tall plays into this harmful idea of what is considered to be the masculine ideal, but that’s a liberal arts essay for a different day.)
2. Choice of footwear
“OMG, he’s wearing flip-flops? DEALBREAKER!” If someone’s footwear is grounds for termination, then perhaps you’ve discovered the real reason why you’re still single. This isn’t Sex and the City, you guys! People are much more than what they choose to put on their feet. If you’re actually this judgmental, then you’re someone who’s watched too many rom-coms starring Kate Hudson. Good luck finding a movie BF IRL!
3. Bad at texting
To date in this age, it’s practically required for you to be an excellent tester, which I think is bullshit. Some people just don’t like to text. Does this make them a subpar human being? Does this mean they’re going to be a horrible person to be in a relationship with? Uh no. It just means that they aren’t interested in the 2012 version of foreplay. I resent that I’m required to give good text. It’s what happens face-to-face that should truly matter, okay?!
4. Likes Dave Matthews Band
While horrifying, liking Dave Matthews Band should not get you voted off potential relationship island. Wanna hear a heartwarming story? My mom’s boyfriend of like the past ten years is a taxidermist country bumpkin who brews his own Moonshine. His favorite kind of music is Garth Books. My mom, on the other hand, is a hip-hop diva who went to Keith Sweat concerts when I was growing up. Somehow though, despite their superficial differences, they managed to fall in love! See, it can happen! FREE YOUR MIND AND THE BOYS WILL FOLLOW!
5. He/shedoesn’t come from a “good family”
Okay, this one’s only applicable to WASPs and the one percent but still, judging someone by their economic status is repulsive. I understand wanting to be with someone who’s not thousands of dollars in debt and actually seems like they have a bright future ahead of them but please don’t think too much about the issue of money. As long as someone’s a hard worker and has realistic career goals, it’s fine.
Thanks to things like online dating and this idea that there’s always other fishes in the sea, people have become so quick to judge others and throw away potential connections. I don’t get it. Are people only interested in dating a mirror? Just because someone has different interests than you doesn’t mean you’re not going to click. I used to think that if a boy was cute and liked to listen to The Smiths we’d be soul mates, which is a total freaking joke. Just because someone also likes depressing music from the 80s doesn’t mean we’re going to be kindred spirits. EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE MORE OPEN AND LESS JUDGMENTAL. It’s like we’re all just looking for reasons to reject someone and then we complain about being alone. Ew, I hate my generation. (JK?)
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Try something today. Count how many times someone brings up some sort of mental illness in normal conversation. Add that number up and tell me it doesn’t strike you as kind of weird how many normal people walk around with the belief that there is something wrong with them.
She assumed it was jewelry. Every year he gets her a charm for her gold chain or a pair of dangly earrings.
Fall if you will, but rise you must.
You may lose what would have been the joy of the experience had you not been so focused on some fabricated idea or unrealistic expectation you had of how it was going to turn out.