5 Places To Move If Your Guy Doesn’t Get Elected
When I think about Berlin I don’t think about gingerbread houses, Bratwurst, or beer gardens. I have an image in mind of this sprawling hipster oasis where everybody makes artisanal honey and where pants are always optional. I know so many people who graduated from college and moved straight to Berlin before the ink on their diplomas dried. It’s an easy city to live in because the cost of living is low, so you can do exactly what you’ve always wanted to do and live comfortably. Plus, Berlin has one of the best nightlife and arts scenes. Can you imagine partying and making art with hot 20 and 30 somethings from all over the world? Sounds like paradise! One of my friends describes Berlin as “East East Bushwick,” so that should tell you something.
I know that prostitutes and marijuana are all frowned upon over here in America and everything, but not in Amsterdam. Just bust out that cannabis, pull up to a hooker, and knock yourselves out. I’m kidding, kind of. But there’s still something to be said about a place that was the first to legalize gay marriage. I wonder if their canals have Gonorrhea, too?
When I think about Spain as a place to expatriate, four things come to mind: Flamenco dancing, good looking people, tapas, and naps. So you mean I would get to dance, eat, and sleep? Boy does that sound like a nice new life! Who wouldn’t want to live in a country where everyone goes home for a nap in the middle of the day? You need to eat and sleep enough so you can throw on that freakum dress and tear the clubs up until 9 a.m. Now that’s a balance of work and leisure.
I’ve always wanted to go to Prague, but the only thing I really know about the place is that they’ve got a jumping porn industry. But that’s not why I want to go, I promise. Prague just seems so sophisticated and progressive. Like a lot of cities in Eastern Europe, there are stark contrasts between 21st century living and the stuff from the olden days. Plus, you’re a train ride away from fabulous castles and quaint Medieval towns, things we don’t have over here in America, unless you go to Disney World.
Stockholm seems like such an awesome, hip city. The street fashion blogs just love shooting people in Stockholm. I feel like everything cool comes straight out of this Nordic igloo: H&M (like, before it became a mall brand), The Sounds, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Cheap Monday jeans, and José Gonzalez. Must be something in the snow. Plus, IKEA! Just think about how many Swedish meatballs with lingonberry sauce you could eat in Sweden. The only downside is it gets really cold, and in the summer the sun rises as early as 3 a.m. But, free health care!
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It’s unfortunate, but we’re creatures of habit and we’ll hold onto our convictions until we’re literally forced to stop.
You basically have to walk a perfect straight line at all times in Japan because if you veer off at any moment you will almost definitely get mashed by a Japanese lady on a mamabike with three kids strapped to it.
Come on people, as if other people’s choices of love affected you in the least. Penguins don’t pull this crap on fellow homosexual penguins.
3. You’ve searched Etsy or eBay for a cute and inexpensive fez.