40 Things You Should Never Say On A First Date

Aug. 1, 2012

By Nico Lang info

Nico Lang is a correspondent and blogger for WBEZ (Chicago’s local NPR affiliate), the Co-Creator of In Our Words, ...

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1. “Who are you texting?”

2. “Oh, I just assumed you’d pay.”

3. “I don’t think women are funny. Especially lesbians.”

4. “My Dad is my best friend. I’m looking for a partner that’s just like him.”

5. (total silence)

6. “You know, I don’t think I’m really over my ex.”

7. “I’m only looking for someone who can financially support me.”

8. “What I said wasn’t racist. I swear I’m not racist. I voted for Obama. We live in a post-racial society.”

9. “LOL.”

10. “A woman’s place is in the home.”

11. “No, we don’t have to leave a tip.”

12. “People say I’m conceited, but I just love myself.”

13. “Who’s Martin Scorsese?”

14. “Hey, wanna hear a funny rape joke?”

15. “I just want to fall in love with someone, right now.”

16. “Helvetica is too mainstream. I prefer Symbols.”

17. “You know what movie I feel like really got ‘it?’ The Blind Side.”

18. “I feel like you’d be way cuter if you just…”

19. “I don’t own a television.”

20. “I have a bad habit of changing for every person I date.”

21. “My exes say that I was too high-maintenance, but I think it’s just that they didn’t love me enough.”

22. “I’ve never dated someone less attractive than I am before.”

23. “My friends say I’m too clingy, but I just like to throw all of myself in a relationship.”

24. “Why would I move out of my parents’ house? I love it there!”

25. “If I don’t get married in the next year, I think I might die.”

26. “I’m really into Hitler.”

27. “How much money do you make?”

28. “Ugh, I always end up dating girls like you.”

29. “I feel like the media was too hard on Jerry Sandusky.”

30. “Would you mind if I live blogged this?”

31. “I think Mel Gibson had a real point about the Jews.”

32. “What are you thinking about?”

33. “I hate it when gays flaunt their sexuality in public.”

34. “I feel like no understands me.”

35. “I’m sorry. I just need to take this call for one second. I swear.”

36. “I don’t even know what feminists are complaining about.”

37. “If she didn’t want guys to harass her, she wouldn’t dress like that.”

38. “Wow, you’re kind of a slut. How many guys have you slept with?”

39. “What are you doing for the rest of your life?”

40. “I’ll be right back. I have to take the biggest dump.” TC mark

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  • Michael

    pointless

    • Aa_

      Agreed

    • Peter

      Agreed x2.

    • m.

      Agreeed.

  • Good Stuff, bro!

    THIS!!! Your words are so eloquent and insightful–how did you get inside my head?!

    I really needed this right now, thank you so much for saying the things I could never say.

    • S.Jones

      Hahahahahahhaahaha what

    • rishtopher

      loool, you captured their voices quite well

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/08/40-things-you-should-never-say-on-a-first-date-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    [...] Thought Catalog » Love & Sex Add a comment [...]

  • Kolby

    24. “Why would I move out of my parents’ house? I love it there!”

    Seriously, I do love it here.

  • http://www.darkerme.com siddman

    Me liked!

  • http://raycrackthesky.tumblr.com raymondthimmes

    41. “I don’t know if I got it all.”

  • Joel

    Agreed w/ it all basically except for #31, “I think Mel Gibson had a real point about the Jews.” Well it’s true Mel has mental health issues, perhaps bipolar, but…. being Jewish, I’m really sick of it being politically incorrect to say anything critical about Jews at all. Especially in regards to continued annexing of Palestinian lands and now further aggression against Iran, fully backed by the US, since the ultimate goal is oil and building that pipeline from the now occupied Afghanistan, through Iran, and leading to neighboring Israel…. Obviously, Mel is not an anti-Semitic person…., just someone that happens to be politically incorrect and not a lemming/blind sheep person who just follows the crowd and the agenda of the NWO.

    • Hry

      I agree, the charge of ‘antisemitism’ is used nowadays as a blanket charge against anyone criticising Israel at all. But Mel Gibson shouting that the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world? That doesn’t strike me as rational criticism.

  • http://menarcheintheuk.tumblr.com Liz

    more importantly, how does one stop committing the sin that is #20?

    • http://dd Mikey

      really?

  • Shauna S.

    What’s wrong with not having a television?

  • http://amiramelody.wordpress.com amiramelody

    thanks for this! I needed a laugh!

  • Liam

    1. “Who are you texting?”…
    Because if your date is texting, you shouldn’t ask who. You should just leave.

  • guest

    I was JUST told on a date that the other person didn’t have a TV. Wasn’t worried in the slightest.

  • http://dd Mikey

    “I don’t even know what feminists are complaining about.”!!

  • http://gravatar.com/madhur25 madhur

    What’s wrong with “I don’t own a television.”

  • http://firstimpressionnetwork.wordpress.com/2012/08/02/link-lovage-2/ Link Lovage « First Impression Network

    [...] Don’t say these on a first date please (Thought Catalogue) [...]

  • wow

    Oh come on. This feels like its been written in a very rushed last-minute way. Im sure all the writers here are able to produce a higher quality of writing regardless of the topic

  • Alysha

    40 Things You Should Never Say On A First Date? it started off quite well and “(total silence)” is a good one, but a lot of it i don’t think should be said at all.. not just on a first date.

  • Colleen

    I feel less intelligent after reading this

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    [...] these are the snap decisions we all make on first dates, decisions that would ordinarily classify us as overly judgmental. But guess what! That’s [...]

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