40 Things I’d Rather Share An Office With Than My Co-Worker
By
Laura Jayne Martin is a writer living in New York City. Her work has been featured on McSweeney's Internet Tendency, ... 1. A lizard
2. Three cranky old men who keep getting told the price of everyday items in 2012
3. A snowman
4. Janice from Friends
5. A small car fire
6. Someone who deliberately Gchats to people whenever their red lights are on as a joke
7. Snooky’s poof
8. A cloud of chalk dust
9. Barfing ghoul
10. A woman singing the entire Glee soundtrack to herself while holding her ear
11. Tuna sandwich
12. A painting of Joseph Stalin
13. The meth lab on Breaking Bad
14. The sound of a 1940s radio news alert
15. Someone stuck in a permanent Elvis impersonation
16. King Joffrey
17. An 11-year-old’s shin guards
18. Freddy Kruger
19. An American who writes the date British-style
20. Dirty diaper
21. A haunted grandfather clock
22. Seven dogs who won’t stop barking
23. A bucket of the toxic liquid collected from between the subway tracks
24. Old boombox blasting a cassette of the song “Puerto Rico” by Frankie Cutlass that was previously taped off the radio
25. Gargamel
26. The cast of The View “discussing” a hot-button issue
27. A fire extinguisher that’s deploying
28. Cup of urine
29. All the pundits. All of them.
30. Tosh.O
31. A group of people fighting about baseball statistics
32. Swamp water
33. The band from the Freecreditreport.com commercials
34. Voldemort
35. A swinging thurible full of incense
36. Apple Maps
37. Someone whose hands are liquid
38. Bain
39. A person trying to explain to their parents how to create an email attachment over the phone
40. Rat king 
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