25 Things To Do Before The World Ends Next Week
1. Tell someone whom you don’t usually — a family member, a close friend — how much you love them and how important they are to you. Tell them why they are awesome and how glad you are to have them in your life, even if you don’t always take the time to say it.
2. Actually make a recipe from one of the cooking shows you watch so often, even if it comes out looking (or tasting) absolutely nothing like what it’s supposed to.
3. Call someone you haven’t spoken to, someone whom you dearly miss, in a while and catch up — even if it’s awkward at first to re-launch the conversation.
4. Walk around your city and take time to notice all the little things (the pretty architecture, the happy couples, the manicured greenery) that you let yourself become oblivious to.
5. Make yourself a hot chocolate to end all hot chocolates, one of those fancy ones with fresh whipped cream and chocolate shavings and fancy cocoa. It should essentially come out looking like the hot chocolate Ned made for Bart in The Simpsons Movie.
6. Have a shower beer/bath wine.
7. Delete everyone off of your Facebook whom you no longer talk to, who serve no purpose in your life, and only elicit in you an occasional “Who the hell is that again?” when you scroll by his/her name.
8. Feel the supreme satisfaction of being perfectly honest when someone harasses you to come out and do something, responding that you are going to stay home in your pajamas, eating junk food and watching terrible television, and that it’s quite possibly the greatest thing you’re ever going to do.
9. Ask someone out who you’ve been dying to go out with for as long as you can remember, and accept that even a flat rejection is better than languishing in the uncertain for agonizing expanses of time.
10. Wear an outfit out that, while perhaps ridiculous or unflattering to others, makes you feel good and attractive, and is something you don’t normally allow yourself.
11. Make a list of all the things you would be really sad to lose if the world really did end on the 21st, and be perfectly honest — even if it means admitting that you care about certain things more than you like to accept.
12. Listen to an entire album, front to back, of an artist whose singles you’ve really enjoyed but whose entire collection you’ve never really given a chance.
13. Call your parents and say “thank you,” for everything.
14. If you can afford to, donate a few dollars to a cause that you believe in — or even just use it to buy a hot meal for someone who doesn’t have a home to go to for the holidays.
15. Be extremely glad that you are not the kind of person who believes in ridiculous conspiracy theories or doomsday scenarios.
17. Give way more hugs than you normally give, especially big, squeez-y bear hugs to your close friends.
18. Make an effort to say “hi” and smile at people you cross throughout your day, even if they don’t do you the courtesy of responding in kind. (Though you will be surprised by how many do.)
19. Leave a tip for your barista who goes above and beyond to make your special drink exactly the way you like it, without even having to be told what it is.
20. Go see a movie with someone that they have really been dying to see, even if it is not in your usual favorite genre. (If they offer to cover the popcorn to compensate, all the better.)
21. Apologize to someone who you wronged, even if they have let it go. Let them know that you know you were wrong, and that you are sorry to have hurt them, even if it was a relatively minor offense — and, most importantly, that you are resigned not to do it again.
22. Compliment a total stranger on something that you genuinely like: their hat, their coat, their smile. Notice how much they’ll light up when someone takes the time to say something nice out of the blue (with — and this is key — no ulterior motives or expectations).
23. Treat yourself to something small and silly, like a cookie, or a movie all by yourself in the middle of a weekend afternoon.
24. Resign yourself to talk less (or not at all) to the people who don’t treat you well, and who make you feel badly about yourself when they’re around.
25. Be surprised at how easy it is to treat everyone around you — and yourself — with a little extra love and attention. Maybe decide you want to keep doing it after the world doesn’t end after all.
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Your crush can sense your increasingly-frenetic desperation, and now has gone from the “They’re a cool friend, but I’m just not really interested in being romantically involved” stage to the “I cannot be alone in the same room with them, they’re going to harvest a lock of my body hair for witchcraft” stage.
I think women are less funny, but it’s not their fault. The audience at the festival didn’t laugh at jokes coming out of female mouths because those jokes were less funny.
3. Pretending to be “normal.”
“Real Life,” despite being the name of a recent facebook album, is decidedly a thing.