20 Signs You’re Obsessed With Instagram
1. When you wake up in the morning Instagram is amongst the first two things you do, despite the fact that the light from your phone makes your sleep encrusted eyes sting. When you’re not doing that wake-up-stretch thing until after you saw shots of everyone’s breakfast – you’re in deep.
2. #Hashtags have become the easiest way for you to express your feelings.
3. You’ve eaten plenty of cold meals because you couldn’t put down the iPhone until you captured the perfect shot of your plate.
4. Your post shots of your Starbucks like the coffee didn’t already go through a filter.
5. You have over 2,000 followers but you’re not famous. That means you probably put in some #hardwork to get those followers, which is kind of sad because you could’ve used that time learning how to use Photoshop.
6. You have no interest in inspirational quotes or sound wisdom unless it’s written over a picture of a beautiful sunset or landscape.
7. You learned how to change an air filter, only because you assumed it had something to do with Instagram when you volunteered to learn.
8. Ghosts and junk don’t scare you half as much as accidentally double tapping a photo does. #ParanormalTaptivity
9. You broke up with your Blackberry because it wasn’t able to produce the high quality shots that a Droid or iPhone can.
10. You believe that life isn’t about the number of breaths you take; it’s about the moments that take your breath away… And then quickly catching your breath so you can take pics of the moment and share ‘em on Instagram.
11. You can’t wait to get Christmas decorations up, not because you’re in the holiday spirit, but so you can see what they look like under a layer of ‘Early Bird’ filter.
12. The best way to show you #loyalty is to like anything and everything you post. Now that’s a #truefriend.
13. You’re a member of the sky paparazzi, crazily snapping shots of it like it’s a Kardashian and you work for TMZ.
14. We can tell what pets you own, how many nieces and nephews you have and your favorite football teams by glancing through your album.
15. You’re not quite sure what the purpose of brunch is unless it’s going to be photographed.
16. It takes you stressful, careful consideration in the form of double-digit minutes to settle on the perfect filter.
17. Even after deciding on a filter, you spend the next few moments in shallow, deep though wondering if you’ve selected the option that makes you look best.
18. You already have a hunch that you’re infatuated with this photo modifying phenomenon and you only came here to confirm your diagnosis.
19. You’ve began neglecting Twitter and Facebook because they don’t allow you to make things look vintage or do the work of a photographer in mere seconds.
The photo above makes your mouth water and you feel the need to Google search something along the lines of “quotes, road, path, future” then write the best line you find in a classy font, on top of a filtered version of that image.
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Mark Zuckerberg, for example. Arguably, the leader of my generation. Multi-billionaire, Facebook creator. Man? Absolutely not. Let’s look at what he really created. Mark Zuckerberg created a site that basically annoys everyone and wastes our time.
In 2009 I got really fed up with my 9-5 job and decided to quite and spend a year backpacking around Asia. It took a year of living with my Mom, saving every dime and basically driving everyone in my life crazy, but I finally actually did it.
His laugh is contagious and you hope you catch it. You will find one another’s eyes from across the room when someone alludes to a previous moment in time.
6. If we don’t orgasm, it’s not to spite you.