23 Things You Should Never Say To A Star Wars Fan

Aug. 8, 2012

By Kodi Bakker info

I am a 24 year old Returned Peace Corps Volunteer who served in Kazakhstan for two years. I currently teach English ...

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1. “My favorite character is Jar Jar Binks.”

2. “Of course I love Star Wars! My favorite Star Wars movie is The Phantom Menace & my least favorite is the Empire Strikes Back. I mean, it was too boring.”

3. “Han Solo did not shoot first, it was that green guy.”

4. “Well my favorite fight was Yoda vs. Dark Sidious. ”

5. “Qui-Gon Jinn suggesting to Obi Wan to go on separate ships was clever.”

6. “I prefer the Special Editions of the originals to the originals. They really improved the older movies by expanding them.”

7. “When Qui-Gon Jin explained the true nature of the Force, it gave clarity to episode IV,V, & VI.”

8. “Anakin accidentally flying a fighter ship; hilarious!”

9. “The fight between Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Vader in A New Hope was a terrible fight, the chorography was just… bad.” TC mark

10. “That pod race was badass.”

11. “You can see the references to Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin’s friendship in every prequel.”

12. “’And you’ve grown. More beautiful.’ I wish someone would use that line on me.”

13. “’This weapon is your life.’ I mean Obi-Wan Kenobi said that in The Attack of the Clones, so training with the light sabre is essential.”

14. “Of course the Jedi Counsel had a legitimate reason to send Anakin & Padmé  to Naboo.”

15. “The light sabre was definitely not overused in the Attack of The Clones or Revenge of the Sith.”

16. “Han Solo should’ve appeared in Revenge of the Sith.”

17. “The Max Rebo band got better with every new update.”

18. “Thank god Lucas added the double “no” in Return of the Jedi.”

19. “Yub Nub needed to go.”

20. “The prequels were made for kids.”

21. “I’m happy they took out Sebastian Shaw at the end of Return of the Jedi.”

22. “Samuel Jackson was the right call as Mace Windu.”

23. “If you like the originals more than the prequels, you are an idiot.” TC mark

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  • webogirl

    You misspelled lightsaber.

    • webogirl

      Just being a fan…

  • scrote

    the article can be summed up in one sentence: I’m a purist and think the prequels suck.

    • Maddy

      You are in my very soul, tormenting me.

  • Han shot first

    lazy (and lousy) list.

  • http://gravatar.com/audreyfaye audreyfaye

    “23 things you should never say to a person who kind of likes Star Wars, lest they become self righteous and pretend to care about the films far more than they do.”

    Also….light sabre? You gotta be kidding.

  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans (@mung_beans)

    Samuel L is always the right call

  • Asdf

    “Star Wars? Oh, I know that one! That’s where the guy with the red shirt always dies, right?!” — Just enough knowledge to try to make yourself seem relate-able on the topic while missing the ball completely.

    • http://twitter.com/rob_t_firefly Rob Vincent (@rob_t_firefly)

      Beam me up, Skippy!

  • http://ddakanay.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/saturday-link-roundup/ Saturday link roundup | Discontent 2.0

    [...] 23 Things You Should Never Say to a Star Wars Fan ”Samuel Jackson was the right call as Mace Windu” happens to be one of them. [...]

  • http://www.facebook.com/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Trent Taylor

    I’d be offended by maybe 5 things on the list, the rest I’d agree with or find understandable. Besides, Shaw did need to go. How much weight should an arbitrary Force Ghost who bears no resemblance to the Actor of two movies, who’s appearance is used in a quality show, which will be a large number of kids first Star Wars. Too bad we can’t revive Sebastian Shaw from the dead, use a machine to make him in his 20s and send him back in time to replace Hayden’s acting. :/

    • Shannon

      If they replaced Shaw with Christensen, then why wouldn’t they have replaced Guinness with McGreggor? Return of the Jedi is at least 20 years after Return of the Sith…you really think Anakin’s going to look the same? I think he should have stayed.

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/stars-wars-episode-7-set-for-2015-but-hopefully-the-world-ends-first/ Stars Wars Episode 7 Set For 2015 But Hopefully The World Ends First | Thought Catalog

    [...] Well, anyone with two eyes and a heart treasures those films. The ORIGINAL films. I like to pretend the prequels don’t exist. In fact, many moons ago, I asked Han Solo himself what he thought of the prequels and he told me [...]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/11/stars-wars-episode-7-set-for-2015-but-hopefully-the-world-ends-first/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    [...] Well, anyone with two eyes and a heart treasures those films. The ORIGINAL films. I like to pretend the prequels don’t exist. In fact, many moons ago, I asked Han Solo himself what he thought of the prequels and he told me [...]

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