17 Things It’d Be Awesome If People Stopped Doing
2. Acting as if a raised voice and speaking loudest are the keys to winning arguments and debates. Name-calling is never a good-look either. Nothing says I’m out of educated responses like a good ol’ “dumbass!”
3. Using the phrase “kill yourself” casually. You never really know what’s going on in people’s personal lives and deep thoughts – we shouldn’t take suggesting suicide so lightly.
4. Getting tricked into following celebrity parody/fake accounts on Twitter. Look for the verified blue and white check symbol… Or bank on the fact that the real Will Ferrell wouldn’t be tweeting memes and common love quotes found on Tumblr.
5. Pronouncing the word “penalize” pee-nuh-lize. While you’re at it, feel free to stop calling “oranges” aranges.
6. Staring at a person who’s eating. Specifically looking directly at them when they’re going in for bites and prone to messiness – it’s really uncomfortable knowing you probably have a condiment drenching the corners of your lips, and a pair of eyes focused solely on you.
7. Leaving voicemails… Seriously, moms everywhere.
8. Entering a massive, empty movie theater with several open seats and taking one rightnext to somebody else.
9. Being nice and buddy-buddy with someone when it’s just the two of you, but turning into a complete douche when there are other people around.
10. Thinking that because you took 158 pictures at your niece’s 6th birthday party means you have to post 158 pictures from your niece’s 6th birthday party on Facebook.
11. Coughing and sneezing everywhere without a covered mouth mouths. When you’re a kid you don’t know better, but there are fully grown adults doing this on the regular.
12. Living in the past. e.g. a person who constantly brings up the mistakes you made 3 years ago and boasts about the things they accomplished in high school, 5+ years ago.
13. Attempting to explain a joke or funny scene from TV/Movies. It’s impossible for your description to pack the same hilarious punch as the actual material. Trust me, it always ends with you drawing pity chuckles and saying, “You just have to see it…”
14. Hating stuff they’ve never experienced. Spewing harsh criticism towards music they’ve never listened to, books they’ve never read, films they’ve never seen and people they’ve never met. Hating on something to go with or against the popular opinion is ridiculous.
15. Opening beers and pouring cups of alcoholic drinks, then taking a sip or two before abandoning ‘em on a random countertop at parties. Who are you people and why are you wasting 11oz. of Dos Equis?!
16. Overusing the word, “stalker.” No, just because so-and-so wrote you three times last week on Facebook, that doesn’t mean you have a stalker. A pesky admirer? Maybe. A persistent lover who’ll wear you down like Urkel? Perhaps. But a stalker? Hardly.
17. Flaking. As someone who used to flake so much Kellogg’s wanted to sponsor me, I know just how much people loathe last minute canceling and unexplained absences. If you know in advance that you don’t want to partake in festivities, I’d recommend saying “no” firmly, because that’s a lot less disappointing/rude than leading inviters on ‘til the last minute.
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He holds my hand in his lap, looks me directly into the eyes and says, “I love you more than the amount of sperm a blue robin makes.”
Took my own braces off with nail clippers.
…So let’s go there.
It’s 2 A.M. and you find yourself in front of a fast food restaurant. The world spins, your stomach growls, and your heart beats. You’re drunk and hungry.