10 Different Types Of Saturdays To Have
1. Sad-urday: Have A Good Cry Today: As a sentimental, sporadically sensitive dude, I know a thing or two about what jerks the heartstrings. If you’ve had a rough week or are in a bit of a rut, sometimes the best medicine is to let the tears flow. It’ll be a few moments of emotion, and then you’ll be all cried out. It’s a significant relief, embrace it. Here’s a song that’s unavoidably emotional, and sure to kick start the waterworks.
2. Fatter-day: Eat anything and everything you crave, regardless of calories, carbs, grease or nutritional value. I suggest ordering things a la mode, as a scoop of ice cream on anything is appetizing. The objective on this day is to consume disgusting amounts of unhealthiness until your belly is bloated and arteries are on the brink of clogged. Performers of Fatter-day must do nothing other than eat, watch television, sleep or any activity that can be executed from a seated position. The amount of laziness here should negate any type of workout you had done over the past week.
3. Childhood Flashback-urday: Remember those glorious Saturday mornings from your childhood? Rising early, grabbing an oversized bowl of sugary cereal, plopping down on the couch and indulging in classic cartoons was a tradition for many of us. It was a simpler time in life that consisted of coloring books, toys and zero responsibility. Relive that experience as an adult by performing all of those adolescent activities for an entire 24 hours. In addition you can be lazy, irresponsible and messy like your less accountable, young self. Here’s a little something to startup your cartoon madness session.
4. Plaid-urday: Any horizontal/vertical-patterned clothing sitting in your closet must be donned. The objective here is to wear plaid, and wear it well. You’ll need to make yourself visible to the public, but the ultimate goal is to draw praise on your fashion choice by a stranger. This task should be fairly fortunate if you run into someone doing the next option…
5. Flatter-day: Give out compliments like they’re school free lunch. Flatter-days are an opportunity to praise everyone from a passerby on the streets to a co-worker or friend. You’ll be refreshingly surprised by how satisfying of a feeling comes with the process. Making folks smile and blush with your kind words could become a regular thing if you enjoy the rewarding sensation.
6. Bat-urday: All things Batman shall be thoroughly enjoyed on this splendid occasion. Watch all of the old-school Adam West Batman, the animated series, the terrible Clooney version or the most recent Christian Bale ones. It’ll only take a few hours before you’ll to tie a blanket around your neck and imagine yourself as the Dark Knight.
7. Chatter-day: Embrace your inner chatterbox and give friends and family phone calls and face time. Most cell phone plans offer free minutes on the weekend — so don’t be bashful with ‘em. This is simply an occasion to be a motor mouth and catch up with old connections, new acquaintances, or anyone else you’re yearning to speak to. At days end you’ll have learned an abundance of new gossip, as well as let some feelings off of your chest.
8. Bad-urday: Be everything that’s bad. Be Peter Parker when the venom suit took control of his body. Be a little kid in his or her ‘terrible twos’. Be a rebel. Break rules. This is a period full of poor behavior, so feel free to be as mischievous and ill behaved as you fancy. One way to perform this well is to pretend that Bad To The Bone is playing in the background throughout your day. If your actions wouldn’t look right with that as the score, you’re not being bad enough.
9. Matter-day: Spend your Saturday appreciating all of the truly important aspects of like. If you need a refresher on what’s really important, here you go.
10. Ladder-day: The metaphorical ladder is something you’ll be utilizing to climb to the top. To the top of what? Well that’s whatever you desire. Any dreams or goals that you’re currently working toward will not be set aside for the weekend. Instead, you will skip over the club, bar, or social festivities to take steps closer toward your passion. Unless of course you desire being a go-go dancer or bartender, in which case you’ll need to be out studying the professionals in action.
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And I am not interested in torturing myself with questions of “What if he meets someone else?” I’m sure you will. And maybe you’ll manage to fool her for even longer than you did me.
You have to start thinking she’s average.
…A Smith Corona electric SL-580 typewriter, to be precise.
Geeks are the bones of every high school. Not because they’re busy getting stuffed in lockers, but because they’re the only ones who aren’t pretending. Everyone else is pretending.