Your Teenage Self Versus Your 20-Something Self

Apr. 17, 2011

By Ryan O'Connell info

I write and edit Thought Catalog. I'm a brat. Send me fun things at ryan@thoughtcatalog.com

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Inspired by this genius blog post that examines the differences between being a 21-year-old and a 23-year-old, I’ve decided to take it a step further by analyzing your teenage self versus your 20-something self.

Money

Teenage self: I’m rich! My parents just gave me twenty bucks to go out with my friends. That means I can afford a movie, a soft drink, and some candy! Must spend immediately. Burning a hole in my pocket. I love money!

20-something self: I hate money. Why does it cost so much money to simply exist? Why I can’t afford an iced mocha and some Sour Patch Kids? I really don’t ask for much. No one told me life was going to be this expensive. No one told me that if I get sick, I must pay insurance companies thousands of dollars. What’s more expensive? Cancer or a Birkin? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Self-esteem

Teenage self: I love to hate myself. I wish I was born with a better body. If I had a better clavicle bone, maybe the opposite sex would notice me!

20-something self: I’m a pretty dope person. Why doesn’t anyone realize that?

Sex

Teenage self: I have amazing sex. I love sex. I do weird kinky things like 69 and stuff. Can I talk more about my sex life? I’m just so excited!

20-something self: Ugh, I don’t want to have sex with you. But okay.

Drinking

Teenage self: I get crazy wasted. Can I have another wine cooler?

20-something self: I pretend to get hungover after drinking one beer. I’m just so…old.

Drugs

Teenage self: I’ve smoked pot a few times and I think I’m addicted…

20-something self: Drugs are cool to do on Saturdays. And maybe Wednesdays. And maybe…wait, I’m conflicted about drugs.

Love

Teenage self: I’ve been in love once. I don’t think they knew I existed though.

20-something self: Love’s a necessary bitch.

Parents

Teenage self: Hate.

20-something self: Love.

College

Teenage self: Can’t wait to go. It’ll change my life!

20-something self: So. Much. Money.

Excuse to stay in

Teenage self: I have to finish my reading journal for King Lear.

20-something self: I’d rather wash my hair and watch Top Chef.

Style manta

Teenage self: This bracelet would look good with this necklace. And this necklace would look good with this headband. And this headband would look good with some wacky earrings!

20-something self: Messy meets sophistication meets go fuck yourself. Looking 12 and 80 years old all at the same time.

Fights with friends

Teenage self: I hate you today because I’m bored!

20-something self: I’m beginning to realize that I don’t like who you are as a person.

Religion

Teenage self: ?

20-something self: ? TC mark

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  • http://twitter.com/i9M Michael B

    As someone who just turned 20, I can totally relate/see this cusp of transition from wanting to be jaded in my teenage years to the new need of fighting against being jaded.

    But it's weird that you bring up some stuff to talk about, then you don't have anything to actually say. I guess we're all still learning? Maybe that's what your 30s are about…

  • Julie M

    College
    Teenage self: Can’t wait to go. It’ll change my life!
    20-something self: So. Much. Money.

    Haha yup. 100% correct.

    Loved this article.

  • Ca

    yo Ryan, quality is better than quantity

    • Guest

      good thing this is high quality, son.

  • Hotmail

    First world problems like whoa

    • Anon

      first world readers….

      • internetinternet

        …need some serious perspective.

      • Anon

        …but, as a result of their first world-ness, can clearly appreciate an article like this despite any degree of perspective

      • Hotmail

        I can go to drudge report to laugh at the crazies just like I can go to this website and laugh at the naivety.

      • hmm…

        “First world problems…
        First world readers…”

        This is a shitty spoken word poem waiting to happen.

      • ricky schitltiiz

        first world e-readers

  • charlotte

    you're-my-hero

  • Parents

    Parents

    Teenage self: Hate.

    20-something self: Dislike.

    30-something self: Tolerate.

    40-something self: Love.

  • Reallyyyydude

    ThIs Is SpOt On, u go gurl.~*~*~*~

  • ok

    Are you allowed to still hate yourself in your 20s

  • http://twitter.com/ohfaith Faith Wright

    on point

  • Sarah

    This article makes me want to drink more…

  • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

    Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell teenage me “don't worry . . . it's all up from here”. Because it's true.

    • Didonato

      Wish I could go back in time and tell my teenage self: “abandon your delusions of grandeur before you fuck up your life”.

  • http://www.ceelow12.tumblr.com ceelow12

    “I pretend to get hungover after drinking one beer. I’m just so…old.”

    Yes!

  • http://tattoosnob.com Julene

    That bit about parents is too true. (And anyone that hates their parents in their mid-to-late 20's should be avoided at all costs.)

  • Alex

    20-something self: I’m beginning to realize that I don’t like who you are as a person.
    Tru fax.

  • josephine

    accurate and lovely

  • http://profiles.google.com/oladosuf Bomi Oladosu

    There should be an asterisk to the 20-something's self-esteem statement and it should read: *except for when drunk. I know some twenty something with some self-esteem issues, both guys and gals. Throw some beers at them and the river flooooows…

  • m bell

    “Ugh, I don’t want to have sex with you. But okay.” hilarious and sadly spot on….
    ryan, i have a huge friend crush on you right now.

  • Nathalie

    ok, guess I'm a teenager trapped in a 20-something body….

  • Azure Skye

    I suppose the “20-Something” would relate more to “late” 20s.

    Hey I was still messng about in my earlit 20s.

    Now it's just different. And yea, I'd rather wash my hair & watch Top Chef than get drunk. ;)

    Love this.

    • T6

      Hayes???

  • http://twitter.com/icameasgold Tanya Donascimento

    Why doesn't anyone realize that I'm a pretty dope person?

  • http://twitter.com/takarabond takara bond

    I'm 17, but I relate much more to the 20 something self than the teenage self. I didn't really go through the typical teenage crap.

    • Frank

      That is nice.

  • http://unloadthecrap.wordpress.com phoosky

    Reblogged this on Get Off With The Shit.

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