What Your Internet Laugh Says About You
lol: You’re a twenty- to thirty-something who’s unemployed or whose day job is some variation of staring at a computer screen and being catty about your coworkers. You consistently have to stop yourself from saying “lol” out loud on a number of occasions, and catch yourself thinking “lol” to stuff you’d normally laugh out loud at. You also employ “haha” and “hehe.”
LOL: You’re a loud late teens/ early twenties ‘party girl’ who’s frequently seen simultaneously at a bar, drinking with a group of friends, and holding a gregarious LOL-laden IM conversation on her iPhone. You also employ “OMG LOL,” “HAHA,” “LOL WTF,” and “hahahahahaha.”
rofl: You’re around the age of 12 and spend much of your time in YouTube comments sections.
hah: The anti-laugh. You don’t laugh at anything. You’re most similar to Thora Birch’s character in Ghost World. Your usage of “hah” (or “ha”) is more condescending and alienating than warm and lighthearted.
lmao: You’re the intrusive high school friend on Facebook who I hoped I never would have had contact with again. Predictably, you’re married with two kids and have very little knowledge of internet etiquette, which makes our unwelcome friendship all the more worse. You also employ “lmfao,” “LOL,” and “rofl.”
bahahah: You’re a male programmer with a pony tail who’s generally seen as weird/ creepy/ nerdy by your IRL peers and as either a “guru” or a tyrannical dick by your fellow elitist programmers in IRC. You may also employ “mwhahahah.”
heh: Your cynical attitude is almost indistinguishable from that of Daria‘s.
lulz: You spend much of your time on 4chan and Reddit. You’re obsessed with cats.
jaja: Spanish is your first language.
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Even as I write this now I am debating whether or not to erase it all together.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.