What It’s Like To Be A Pretty Girl

If this article were a human being, I’d punch it in the face.

lets see a picture, we’ll decide.

This cannot have been written by a real human being. I refuse to believe it.

Wow, you’re not conceited at all.

Long Beach…

Very self-absorbed piece of writing, but I daresay it’s honest. And pretty true.

Please let this be a troll.

YEAH PRETTY GIRLS DON’T HAVE FRIENDS BECAUSE ALL GIRLS ARE JEALOUS BITCHEZ RITE?

It’s my fault for clicking on an article named as such on a website as such. 

Please let this be a troll.

You kept writing about how smart you are, so prove it. This article didn’t do that at all. The reason you don’t have girlfriends is because you’re obsessed with yourself, not because you’re pretty.

I’m excited to read the 1,074 other angry comments about this article.

I’m excited to read the 1,074 other angry comments about this article.

I’m excited to read the 1,074 other angry comments about this article.

You may also be interested in these similar Thought Catalog articles: It Totally Sucks Being a Caucasian Male, The Downside of Having Too Much Money (The Drake Complex), and of course… Ugly People Are Total Downers.

You may also be interested in these similar Thought Catalog articles: It Totally Sucks Being a Caucasian Male, The Downside of Having Too Much Money (The Drake Complex), and of course… Ugly People Are Total Downers.

I dunno I liked it. There have been far worse articles about how difficult it is to be attractive on this site, at least this one feels honest.

I dunno I liked it. There have been far worse articles about how difficult it is to be attractive on this site, at least this one feels honest.

Humble brag much?

Humble brag much?

Humble brag much?

Look at them go.

Look at them go.

Is this satire? I hope this is satire.

Is this satire? I hope this is satire.

Is this satire? I hope this is satire.

Is this satire? I hope this is satire.

Is this satire? I hope this is satire.

Is this satire? I hope this is satire.

This was my favourite: “yes, all of these things really happen, sometimes even when I’ve got my glasses on”

This was my favourite: “yes, all of these things really happen, sometimes even when I’ve got my glasses on”

This was my favourite: “yes, all of these things really happen, sometimes even when I’ve got my glasses on”

This was my favourite: “yes, all of these things really happen, sometimes even when I’ve got my glasses on”

The problem is that even as straight satire, its still terribly written.

is there one on how ugly people are downers?

because i would totally read that one

I purposely ignore the “pretty” girls so they dont get a big head like you. Im not intimidated, and you aren’t as hot as you think you are.

You must be an android because you don’t poop. 

I think you maaaay be missing a point.

Hey buddy, Neil Strauss wants his neg back.

Check my TC bio page, Facebook, Twitter…

False modesty is so fucking unattractive. Thanks for owning your looks; it’s about time girls quit this, “oh little ol’ me? I guess I’ll intentionally make myself homely” routine. 

I LOVE THIS ONE, HON. KEEP BEING REAL (PRETTY)

You know what else is good? Having a huge ass when you’re a white girl. Look at Kim Kardashian, she made a career out of being a white girl with a giant ass. And that whole pee-pee thing.

WHOA, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and until proven that this was genuinely satire, I would have to remind the author of the column that cockyness aint attractive.

Also, maybe your friends have good personalities and THAT’S why they get all of the college-educated guys? Did that ever occur to you? Maybe we should try realizing that you don’t have friends because “dem bitchez so jealous of my humps” but maybe rather because you are so self-obsessed that you can’t be happy for them getting male attention?!

And just so you know…Gas attendents and prison guards flirt with whatever vagina crosses the road.

I think that this was a nice, well-written article.

troll

Misery loves company.

Never read the comments. Especially on an article like this. And yet, here I am.

For what it’s worth, I enjoyed the piece and thought it well-written. Also, I’d like to preemptively apologize for my gender.

Seriously. Never read the comments.

For a very brief period in the 70′s there was a TV commercial for a skin product where a supermodel type said “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”.  Key words: ‘very brief’.

this coming from a person who only seems to write mean-spirited comments on this website. LOL.

think i’m done with thought catalog

The people who posted those comments must be ugly because this article is ON THE DOT. So true, SO TRUE. Like us pretty girls always say, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” Being pretty of course helps but it also is detrimental because it brings about it displays the vainness of humanity. You either like me because Im pretty (Thats like liking an object because its vain. That shit is vain) or have a dislike for me (most often this is seen in girls) which the person who is the disliker probaby isnt even aware of. They think that they just dont like you. No specific reason needed. Either way, pretty girls are objectified. We become objects of beauty. To be desired for. You dont like me… You like something which I absolutely have no control over.

or maybe people just don’t like you

Oh shit, I’m so so excited for the comments that are gonna come in reply to this comment.

If only!

Liking an object because its shiny*

This article is a bit confusing to me because going off of your thoughtcatalog profile pic it is not like you are incredibly drop-dead gorgeous or something. You seem very pretty but half of my friends are just as attractive if not more so, and none of them seem to have ALL of these crazy problems you’re having. 

Like other people pointed out already maybe the whole not having a lot of friends that are girls thing is due to your attitude/personality rather than because of you looks.

Also, most creepy men will be creepy to anyone even mildly attractive.

#firstworldproblems

#firstworldproblems

Although, it’s annoying how conceited this comes off as…its so true. It’s not pleasant to have to simply walk down a street and have nasty things said to you on a daily basis. It’s not even as if guys say cordial things like, “You look lovely, today”. Its always partially-racist, obscene and sometimes supplemented with noises and gestures. It’s tiring!

Although, it’s annoying how conceited this comes off as…its so true. It’s not pleasant to have to simply walk down a street and have nasty things said to you on a daily basis. It’s not even as if guys say cordial things like, “You look lovely, today”. Its always partially-racist, obscene and sometimes supplemented with noises and gestures. It’s tiring!

Are you just a cheerleader for the Self Cenetered Team? Goooooooo Mirrors!

I wish the articles were better lately, but an occasional one shows up and I’m seduced into continuing to follow. That being said, I’ll give credit where credit is due.

Also I’m living in Rome right now and if you think that it is bad in the United States how much girls (or just you) are objectified and called out to on the street, don’t ever come to Rome. 

Multiply the amount of cat-calls you get daily by about 5 and that’s how often men will bother you here. 

What It’s Like To Be An Oblivious, Insufferable C-Word With A Special Snowflake Complex

Or just buy it a drink and ask if it wants to fuck.

THANK YOU THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT SHIT ARTICLE THAT WAS POSTED A MONTH AGO.

THANK YOU THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT SHIT ARTICLE THAT WAS POSTED A MONTH AGO.

You’re so persecuted.

You’re so persecuted.

No they like me. Is is of monumental importance for me to treat every body I come across with kindness. 

Yeah, “A Pretty Girl,” We’re ugly because we disagree with you. That doesn’t sound flat-out ignorant or anything. I don’t know if you’ve realized how this big place called the Earth works or anything, but usually…Physical ATTRACTion attracts the opposite (or same, whatever you’re into) sex. Some people like the whole Barbie/Ken look, some people like exotic looking, different strokes for different folks. There’s really no such thing as universally beautiful. The allure of a person is in the context of their soul, their personality, who they are as a person. So…if you’re wondering why guys don’t stick around, it’s not because you’re ugly. You can get free drinks and back-of-receipt phone numbers in the twitch of a nose. It’s your conceited attitude that probably chases the fellas down the road, don’t ya think govna?!

Yeah, “A Pretty Girl,” We’re ugly because we disagree with you. That doesn’t sound flat-out ignorant or anything. I don’t know if you’ve realized how this big place called the Earth works or anything, but usually…Physical ATTRACTion attracts the opposite (or same, whatever you’re into) sex. Some people like the whole Barbie/Ken look, some people like exotic looking, different strokes for different folks. There’s really no such thing as universally beautiful. The allure of a person is in the context of their soul, their personality, who they are as a person. So…if you’re wondering why guys don’t stick around, it’s not because you’re ugly. You can get free drinks and back-of-receipt phone numbers in the twitch of a nose. It’s your conceited attitude that probably chases the fellas down the road, don’t ya think govna?!

Amen to that. A lot of people have problems with this article because it’s a beautiful woman who is aware of her beauty. People want women to be beautiful but oblivious about it, confident and humble simultaneously. More impossible standards.
Being attractive is a gift and a curse, as Tessah points out. Harassment comes right along with having a pretty face.

ALSO, I’m going to tell you the truest thing a guy has ever told me. I asked a friend of mine why he was putting up with a girl who not only treated him like shit and had the personality of cardboard, but wasn’t even that cute. He said “Vagina doesn’t have a face or a personality.”

OMG I LOVE YOUR WRITING RYAN O’CONNELL 

You’re an asshole.

Just because someone is self-aware doesn’t mean she is a “c-word” or “not that pretty” or any of the other horrendous things that have been said in this comment thread. People can be so MEAN sometimes when they’re not comfortable with who they are. This was a thoughtful, well-written piece in my opinion and I’m glad you were gutsy enough to write it.

Imma pray for you tonight gurl, sounds like you have a real hard life. 

I do agree that our society deems it inconceivable and unfair that girls can be both pretty and intelligent. But you used your looks to pass classes? Then stop attempting to get our sympathy. How about you earn that respect you so desire from people first instead of falling back on your super hawt looks for easy passes and free things.

This article makes me sorry for our generation. Plz pull your head out of your butt and do something more productive. And don’t worry, in another 30 years you’ll be just as old and unattractive as the rest of us!

I do agree that our society deems it inconceivable and unfair that girls can be both pretty and intelligent. But you used your looks to pass classes? Then stop attempting to get our sympathy. How about you earn that respect you so desire from people first instead of falling back on your super hawt looks for easy passes and free things.

This article makes me sorry for our generation. Plz pull your head out of your butt and do something more productive. And don’t worry, in another 30 years you’ll be just as old and unattractive as the rest of us!

As someone who is often told I’m pretty but consider myself an average girl – this is kind of funny because in looking up the writer I see nothing but a girl who is completely average. Such a disappointment. I guess soak in that some people, wherever you are, see you as so exotic and so pretty.

As someone who is often told I’m pretty but consider myself an average girl – this is kind of funny because in looking up the writer I see nothing but a girl who is completely average. Such a disappointment. I guess soak in that some people, wherever you are, see you as so exotic and so pretty.

As someone who is often told I’m pretty but consider myself an average girl – this is kind of funny because in looking up the writer I see nothing but a girl who is completely average. Such a disappointment. I guess soak in that some people, wherever you are, see you as so exotic and so pretty.

This article’s receiving a lot of hate.  I can understand the perspective even though I’m always the nice guy, but I think you should make more of an effort to seek out the ideal people you want to date instead of waiting for them to come to you.  It’s difficult but worth the effort.

This article’s receiving a lot of hate.  I can understand the perspective even though I’m always the nice guy, but I think you should make more of an effort to seek out the ideal people you want to date instead of waiting for them to come to you.  It’s difficult but worth the effort.

This article’s receiving a lot of hate.  I can understand the perspective even though I’m always the nice guy, but I think you should make more of an effort to seek out the ideal people you want to date instead of waiting for them to come to you.  It’s difficult but worth the effort.

my best friend’s mom makes $78 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her check was $7587 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it here HardRich.com

my best friend’s mom makes $78 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her check was $7587 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it here HardRich.com

my best friend’s mom makes $78 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her check was $7587 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it here HardRich.com

“Perhaps only in a world of the blind will things be what they
truly are.”

“Perhaps only in a world of the blind will things be what they
truly are.”

“Perhaps only in a world of the blind will things be what they
truly are.”

This author has never been an “ugly” girl, thus wouldn’t understand that many (but not all) of the circumstances she listed  also happen to “ugly” girls.   

Where did I say I was wondering why guys didnt stick around me??? You ASSUMED that. You also assume Im conceited simply due to my reply. Anyway, congratulations to your friend. That has no relevance of any sort in the context of this conversation. Of course, the allure of a person is in the context of their soul and personality. I whole-heartedly agree with this truth. And this is the reason, I dont go by looks. I go by personality.

This is an embarrassingly indulgent piece of work…not even redeemed by a single original observation or eloquent sentence… come on Thought Catalogue!! 

This is an embarrassingly indulgent piece of work…not even redeemed by a single original observation or eloquent sentence… come on Thought Catalogue!! 

This is an embarrassingly indulgent piece of work…not even redeemed by a single original observation or eloquent sentence… come on Thought Catalogue!! 

I’m not a super pretty girl (I don’t think I’m ugly though…just an average jane), and while I found some parts of this article to be a bit much, I wasn’t upset over it. It was kind of amusing to read. Some people get annoyed at things like this, but their annoyance seems unnecessary. If you don’t like that someone knows she’s pretty then leave it. I’ve read plenty of things I think are trivially stupid; I just roll my eyes and move on. If you’re that upset to hate on this girl via internet comments, then you have something else you’re dealing with.

Tessah, just keep writing…haters gonna hate.I wish I were as pretty as you, but life is life. I still enjoyed it. Sorry for all the heat you’re getting on this one article.

I’m not a super pretty girl (I don’t think I’m ugly though…just an average jane), and while I found some parts of this article to be a bit much, I wasn’t upset over it. It was kind of amusing to read. Some people get annoyed at things like this, but their annoyance seems unnecessary. If you don’t like that someone knows she’s pretty then leave it. I’ve read plenty of things I think are trivially stupid; I just roll my eyes and move on. If you’re that upset to hate on this girl via internet comments, then you have something else you’re dealing with.

Tessah, just keep writing…haters gonna hate.I wish I were as pretty as you, but life is life. I still enjoyed it. Sorry for all the heat you’re getting on this one article.

I’m not a super pretty girl (I don’t think I’m ugly though…just an average jane), and while I found some parts of this article to be a bit much, I wasn’t upset over it. It was kind of amusing to read. Some people get annoyed at things like this, but their annoyance seems unnecessary. If you don’t like that someone knows she’s pretty then leave it. I’ve read plenty of things I think are trivially stupid; I just roll my eyes and move on. If you’re that upset to hate on this girl via internet comments, then you have something else you’re dealing with.

Tessah, just keep writing…haters gonna hate.I wish I were as pretty as you, but life is life. I still enjoyed it. Sorry for all the heat you’re getting on this one article.

I don’t get it. Good looking people are obviously aware of the fact that they are good looking and while it may seem conceited to talk about it, she’s just being honest and … cataloging her thoughts. 

I don’t get it. Good looking people are obviously aware of the fact that they are good looking and while it may seem conceited to talk about it, she’s just being honest and … cataloging her thoughts. 

I don’t get it. Good looking people are obviously aware of the fact that they are good looking and while it may seem conceited to talk about it, she’s just being honest and … cataloging her thoughts. 

I think I just had the hugest eyeroll of my life while reading this.

I think I just had the hugest eyeroll of my life while reading this.

I think I just had the hugest eyeroll of my life while reading this.

I’d also like to add that you could have been doing pretty much anything else with the time it took you to write this article and it would have been way less lame.

I’d also like to add that you could have been doing pretty much anything else with the time it took you to write this article and it would have been way less lame.

I’d also like to add that you could have been doing pretty much anything else with the time it took you to write this article and it would have been way less lame.

Two words: self-inflicted drama.  

Do you feel morally obligated to have something to whine about?  I’m quite certain that being pretty doesn’t have to entail any of that (cat calls, maybe, but I don’t consider it something worth dwelling on for more than a few seconds).  You’re probably just marketing yourself wrong.  I know a lot of gorgeous women who people also regard to be of high quality because that’s exactly how they perceive themselves and they’re clear that they deserve no less.  Strangers leer at them too, but they sure as hell don’t waste time on these losers, much less take them home.  You know, we women actually have the option to dump/ignore the men who don’t deserve us?  Yes?  I don’t understand why you feel obliged to tolerate them.  You probably have a lot of self-depreciating opinions about the non-physical aspects of who you are, hence all this.

Two words: self-inflicted drama.  

Do you feel morally obligated to have something to whine about?  I’m quite certain that being pretty doesn’t have to entail any of that (cat calls, maybe, but I don’t consider it something worth dwelling on for more than a few seconds).  You’re probably just marketing yourself wrong.  I know a lot of gorgeous women who people also regard to be of high quality because that’s exactly how they perceive themselves and they’re clear that they deserve no less.  Strangers leer at them too, but they sure as hell don’t waste time on these losers, much less take them home.  You know, we women actually have the option to dump/ignore the men who don’t deserve us?  Yes?  I don’t understand why you feel obliged to tolerate them.  You probably have a lot of self-depreciating opinions about the non-physical aspects of who you are, hence all this.

Two words: self-inflicted drama.  

Do you feel morally obligated to have something to whine about?  I’m quite certain that being pretty doesn’t have to entail any of that (cat calls, maybe, but I don’t consider it something worth dwelling on for more than a few seconds).  You’re probably just marketing yourself wrong.  I know a lot of gorgeous women who people also regard to be of high quality because that’s exactly how they perceive themselves and they’re clear that they deserve no less.  Strangers leer at them too, but they sure as hell don’t waste time on these losers, much less take them home.  You know, we women actually have the option to dump/ignore the men who don’t deserve us?  Yes?  I don’t understand why you feel obliged to tolerate them.  You probably have a lot of self-depreciating opinions about the non-physical aspects of who you are, hence all this.

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

This is a pathetic excuse for an article. Which was, incidentally, pretty boring.

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

This is a pathetic excuse for an article. Which was, incidentally, pretty boring.

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

This is a pathetic excuse for an article. Which was, incidentally, pretty boring.

I’m torn on this article. 

On one hand, I know it’s true.  I once had a gorgeous woman tell me, “I like you.  You won’t kiss my ass,” like it was the biggest compliment she could give, and I’ve had another one ask me if there was something wrong with her because guys kept liking her.  When you know you’re just a normal person and not that special, but people keep treating you like you’re an angel sent from Heaven to bless the world, I know it’s frustrating.

The thing is though, this author, as some others have mentioned, isn’t particularly attractive.  She is pretty enough, I guess, but she’s definitely not near pretty enough to be writing articles about how hard it is to be super attractive.

Oh, I didn’t realize we should all be self-deprecating and racked with guilt about our genetics. Noted for future reference: false modesty will make me more internet friends.

I think it’s great when a beautiful girl knows she is beautiful and can own it. However, I also have begun to realize the most beautiful girls can have the lowest self-esteem too. It’s difficult when you are led to believe that this is the only redeeming quality of your being and if you somehow fall short one day or another then society tells you you have nothing else of value to add. While some things may come easier, sometimes it makes it that much harder to find your place in the world.

why is everyone taking this so SERIOUSLY?

Hi. I’d just like to point out that i AM pretty so this is not just one of those hating comments ugly jealous girl make. However, i also must say i NEVER feel the urge to “be ugly” just to be unnoticed. I pass unnoticed often as there are non-perverted people in the world out there… but seemingly not where you are.
Also, i agree, same perverted shit happens to so-called “ugly” girls, so please don’t go round whining on how much of a pain in the a** it is to be pretty… because i’m sure you are, and you should be SO grateful of it.  

Its called humility, stop with the silly made up terms.

Tessah, I loved this. I think this is my favorite part:

The #1 attempted pickup line will be, “Hey, are you a model?” which will
embarrass you because A) obviously you’re not a model, and B) what are
you supposed to say? “No, I’m not a model, I’m just NATURALLY GORGEOUS.
SOAK IT UP.”

KEEP WRITING, HUNNY BUNNY! xoxoxoxoxo

LOL, what is this?

All words used were, in fact, real. Not tangled in religious guilt or a believer in the denial of Ego. To each their own, sugar.

You and Oscar Wilde have a rollicking good time pretending that you’re the only people that exist in the world. Just sad.

Delete your blog.

Fumble… fumble… fail.

Girls don’t exclusively get harassed, molested, raped, followed, catcalled, bothered, cornered, or focused on by creeps and sexual predators only when they’re pretty. It happens to women everywhere. I actually felt a flush of secondhand embarrassment for you when you seemed to assert that only conventionally attractive women receive this kind of attention.

I also wonder if the reason you don’t have many female friends is because you’re prone to self-indulgent privileged weepfests like this, not because you’re attractive. I know many drop-dead beautiful girls with tons of genuine girl friends in their lives, who they manage to keep around because they have solid personalities and don’t construct ridiculous, wrong-footed drama just to have something to complain about.

Well….I loved this article. I related to it completely, and just because someone knows they’re beautiful doesn’t mean they’re conceited. It means they have eyes and they’re not idiots. I think the people jumping all over the author are kind of missing the point. She isn’t bragging about being beautiful. She’s simply acknowledging it and giving insight to her experience – which is what I thought TC was about?

because Models aren’t naturally gorgeous?

You treat every body the same or do you treat everybody the same? Lols it’s of “monumental importance” to you? You can’t just use pick up the thesaurus, close your eyes and choose the best-sounding synonym to make yourself sound smart.

As for the article, as always, the people on TC can be so critical. Too many people call others out when they write something honest, but then condemn another set of people for not being “real”.

Nonsense is always the way out.

Nonsense is always the way out.

get rid of the seaward!
… i’ll leave when i’m good and ready.

No one’s been in that rusty ol’ claptrap for years.

No one’s been in that rusty ol’ claptrap for years.

One thing you got girl are Balls. To come out and be so openly conceited is ballsy and I must admit refreshing. But what you are lacking is thoughtful insight on your conceited topic, which is pretty much crucial if you don’t want to come out looking like an idiot, an Ballsy Idiot, but an idiot non-the-less.  I was reading this and rooting for you,  waiting and just waiting for it to get good, and have a golden nugget in there, but never came. That is the reason why my fellow pretty girl, your article is going to get crapped on.

thanks babygurl!!!

ehh… not really worthy of this article. guess you could be some guys type, but definitely not mine. You look dirty.

ehh… not really worthy of this article. guess you could be some guys type, but definitely not mine. You look dirty.

i can’t decide if I’m laughing because I’m embarrassed for this girl or because thought catalog used to post relatable articles

i can’t decide if I’m laughing because I’m embarrassed for this girl or because thought catalog used to post relatable articles

lolwhat?

Either way, it’s just not very good and it comes off as arrogant.

What It’s Like Being A Slightly Attractive (Depends on the lighting and the intoxication level) girl:

I get hit on my creepy dudes at bars, get cat-called in ‘bad neighborhoods’ and sometimes get lecherously stared at by dudes who work at gas stations. Sometimes people think I’m “dumb” because if anybody’s judging your intelligence by your looks, they’re definitely the kind of person who would be sexist enough to do it to any female. Even if she’s like, a total 6!!! (gross)

Sure, these guys might ask if I’m ‘Tina Fey’ instead of a supermodel, but you can be sure that both lines are of equal horseshit value. Three cheers for drunken assholes! Still, I apologize for just putting us (me Tarzan, you pretty) on the same playing field, since I’m sure that might deeply disturb you, and for that I can only offer you a Sephora-infused kiss and a blow pop.

You know, it’s cool that you’re pretty and all, but when you talk to an audience of people like you are a Queen trying to explain to the pauper masses why it vaguely sucks to be rich sometimes, then swiftly assuring them NOT THAT I’D EVER WANT TO BE POOR, most people are going to refuse to give a shit.

There are, in fact, worse things in life than being attractive! 

And enough with that bullshit ‘pretty girls can’t have any GIRLFRIENDS’. I have lots of gorgeous friends, and the only ‘gorgeous girls’ I don’t like,  I don’t like because they seem to be massive bitches.

Or they’re always talking about how pretty they are.

HOLY shit this sounds like a shampoo commercial written by Regina George

“Wow, you’re so exotic, you should be a Laker girl” sounds like a compliment, but what I hear is “You should be a Laker girl because you look vaguely Puerto Rican and nobody cares that you can spell ‘facetious’ without looking at the dictionary.” — maybe this problem in your life actually comes from how you hear and see things, ya know?

Because for a lot of your examples, it’s not really about being pretty.

Okay, I made this comment under the assumption that this article wasn’t a play on self-delusion. If it is, I apologize.

More like Delusional Assertions Catalog.

Humblebrag.

Or, rather, not-so-humblebrag.

Wow, you seem to be getting a lot of shit for this article but honestly i agree with everything you said and i’m NOT a “Pretty Girl”. Ok, yes, I am pretty but I have never been called gorgeous or breathtaking and I’ve only been told i’m beautiful by creepy dudes in the subway. Mostly I am told that I’m “cute” My best friend however is “gorgeous” and “exotic”. She only dates douchebags. Some of them are pretty hot but they are still douchebags. They get super jealous of her other guy friends and she doesn’t have a lot of girl friends because a lot of girls are afraid she’ll steal their boyfriends. The nice, cute, smart, quiet guys don’t talk to her because they’re intimidated and she doesn’t talk to them because she’s actually pretty shy (believe it or not). She knows she’s beautiful. She rarely mentions it because she knows it sounds conceited but she knows it. Just because someone knows they are pretty doesn’t make them conceited. There have been multiple occasions where my friend has said she would rather a guy tell her how smart or funny she is than to hear how beautiful she is because she hears it so often. You definitely have balls for writing this article because obviously a lot of people are getting all pissy about it but I completely understand everything you’ve said. I think I would still rather be gorgeous though. It would make finding a job a lot easier.

I’m just NATURALLY GORGEOUS. SOAK IT UP.

You suck as a human being.

“But sometimes it would be nice to just be a face in the crowd ” couldn’t agree more.  Reading all the  very spiteful comments, it is no wonder people rarely talk about this. I don’t know how many times I have said that I am a waitress, when asked what I do by the many random men that have tried to hit on me, just because I can not stand the shock that they express when I say that I own a successful business. I am almost 30 years old now and it still feels so degrading to see how surprised people are to find out that I am not a model, actress, or stripper. My looks had nothing with getting me where I am today, that was just hard work!

that’s just pathetic to lie because you don’t want to “shock” people. be proud of what you’ve done and who gives 2 fucks what “random men” think? 

I wouldn’t say this article has an apt title or calling guys “losers” directs a point – but this is relatable. Girls will get hit on, prettier girls just get hit on more #fact
And about dating douches – bound to happen anyway!

I wouldn’t say this article has an apt title or calling guys “losers” directs a point – but this is relatable. Girls will get hit on, prettier girls just get hit on more #fact
And about dating douches – bound to happen anyway!

2 things about beauty: it is in the eye of the beholder and it is fading. i’m glad you think you’re beautiful but keep this in mind, boo. 

So much secondhand embarrassment. Damn you.

“yes, all of these things really happen, sometimes even when I’ve got my glasses on”
NO WAY!!!

how many artfully crafted photobooth pictures did it take to get you this job?

how many artfully crafted photobooth pictures did it take to get you this job?

yeah perverts only say pervy-ass shit to pretty girls. tell that to every woman ever. 

sigh. you may know how to spell “facetious,” but not “doughnut.”

Wow that was inexplicably and unnecessarily rude.

But I’m sure looking at you is as astounding as looking into the face of Jesus.

It’s like she lives in a world where tall and thin is an exact analog for pretty, which it isn’t.

ouch.

ouch.

Dunkin’ Donuts, homeboy. it’s the norm in the east

Dunkin’ Donuts, homeboy. it’s the norm in the east

Don’t worry homegirl, you’ll be ugly soon enough like the rest of us.

And for the record, go whine about this to a burn victim or an amputee or someone who actually gets judged negatively on their looks.

That wasn’t hypocritical at all. Not even slightly. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.

Call me back when you write a well-conceived article on why non-consensual objectification is harmful to all people, regardless of attractiveness, regardless of age, and regardless, dare I say, of gender (although the problem is most prevalent with respect to people who present as women).  Complaining about being a victim of your own attractiveness makes you sound like a conceited, sheltered child.  Talk about the real problem, do some research, argue your points so that they speak to a great many people other than yourself and an exclusive band of cohorts, and then ask us to support you.  We will.

it’s funny how bitter people are being about this article. attractiveness is probably the only thing we owe entirely to genetics (to things out of our control) but also something we (as a society, at least) hold as one of the most important characteristics of a person (conscious or not, it’s part of the human condition, baby). As someone who has been both pretty and terrible looking, I get what the author is saying and it’s just…… yeah, it’s just funny to see people haranguing her for talking about the downsides of being attractive (something she can’t control, and yet the only thing most people see in her). Like, okay “Boohoo, being pretty means no one really sees meee,” is annoying to hear if you don’t think you’re pretty, but being pretty and having people (most of the time) seeing you only as a pretty object – only as something you didn’t work hard for, you don’t control, you didn’t choose to be – is depressing. And in these comments, I think Tessah has her point proven: Everyone sees a pretty girl – here, wining about being good looking – not a smart writer (with kind of shyte articles on TC ;] ) and good person whose personality and intelligence are overlooked by all of us who can only see what is visible.

pretty people should not be allowed to talk/write about their pretty-ness. It’s like lactose intolerance!

and even if this article is kind of joking (a la #whitegrlproblems/#firstworldproblems, etc (and it kind of is)(but i still can’t tell if she’s serious or not because while she IS pretty, most of her articles here are jokesywokesky and this is out of character)), it’s still proving a point. argh

Had to google you.
You’re attractive, but please shut the fuck up.

True, except I was doing it to be facetious and to give me “Me” a dose of his own medicine.

Haha too true. I didn’t even realize people spelled it “doughnuts” anymore. Just me??

Give me your phone number.

when I am rich (HA) I’m going to Rome every time I have low self esteem. I find that the men there are less BOTHERSOME, but much more pro-active when they see a beautiful woman. In NYC men can do what can really only be described as leering, and in Rome they are much less obscene in their comments – they see a beautiful woman, not a fuckable object. Maybz? But omg Italian men <3

 ♥

The allure of a person is in the context of their soul, their personality, who they are as a person. 
wait…. yes… exactly…. isn’t that the point of this article and original comment? that being pretty basically stops people from seeing anything beyond that?

The allure of a person is in the context of their soul, their personality, who they are as a person. 
wait…. yes… exactly…. isn’t that the point of this article and original comment? that being pretty basically stops people from seeing anything beyond that?

Who, me?

post it here!  ”call me back”  was figure of speech.

Jesus.  I don’t know which is the bigger shitshow.  The article or the comments.

People aren’t being bitter. This article just kind of gives “pretty people” a bad rep. Her attributing those experiences to being pretty is misguided. These things can easily happen to anyone with a vagina. I say this without questioning her attractiveness. It’s just… strong title, weak article. Too bad.

Right there with ya on that one.

“Your friends inevitably tire of taking you out because you end each night rolling around on the couch/bathroom floor clutching a bottle of CVS Chardonnay, crying “why don’t any cute boys LIKE ME??””

^that’s why you don’t have a lot of female friends. It sucks taking care of the fucked-up girl, no matter how pretty or ugly she is. Drinking too much has nothing to do with your looks. Also, maybe nice boys don’t like you because you’re drunk off your ass, and they don’t want to take home a girl who’s too far gone. Would you? 

Everyone complaining about this article sounds bitter.  I think the author is attractive and since when has Thought Catalog become a place for Columbia Teacher’s College english teacher rejects to comment on the eloquence of an article? People tell me I’m gorgeous all the time and no I do not have a chip on my shoulder nor do I walk around reigning supreme over less attractive people but, I would say that there have been numerous times where I’ve wished I was less attractive so I’d be taken seriously. I’ve had a hiring manager tell me to my face that I was “too pretty” for a job I was clearly qualified for and I’ve been disrespected on the street for now acknowledging the sexual slurs that are thrown at me because apparently I should be grateful? I graduated top of my class from a prestigious university, THAT I will brag about but every time someone compliments me on how attractive I am I roll my eyes and thinking to myself, “give me a break, can you find something else about my personality that you can shine some light on.” Also, I don’t think the author was bragging, she knows she’s attractive, just like some of you KNOW you’re unattractive.

Everyone complaining about this article sounds bitter.  I think the author is attractive and since when has Thought Catalog become a place for Columbia Teacher’s College english teacher rejects to comment on the eloquence of an article? People tell me I’m gorgeous all the time and no I do not have a chip on my shoulder nor do I walk around reigning supreme over less attractive people but, I would say that there have been numerous times where I’ve wished I was less attractive so I’d be taken seriously. I’ve had a hiring manager tell me to my face that I was “too pretty” for a job I was clearly qualified for and I’ve been disrespected on the street for now acknowledging the sexual slurs that are thrown at me because apparently I should be grateful? I graduated top of my class from a prestigious university, THAT I will brag about but every time someone compliments me on how attractive I am I roll my eyes and thinking to myself, “give me a break, can you find something else about my personality that you can shine some light on.” Also, I don’t think the author was bragging, she knows she’s attractive, just like some of you KNOW you’re unattractive.

Well, I don’t think this self-described beautiful girl has a problem with low self-esteem.

Well, I don’t think this self-described beautiful girl has a problem with low self-esteem.

Haters are crazy. This is wonderful and great.

Haters are crazy. This is wonderful and great.

we already had this article

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/eye-candy-the-burden-of-beauty/

we already had this article

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/eye-candy-the-burden-of-beauty/

I can see where you were going…ya just never quite got there. 

I can see where you were going…ya just never quite got there. 

Thought Catalog, you let me down!  

Me think thou doth protest too much. 

Even that article, which I might add, was very well written had tons of haters. Thanks for sharing. People are just jealous.

I don’t know… you really don’t need to be particularly attractive to get hit on by gas station attendants and former prisoners. Very little of what you described has to do with beauty. Reeks of insecurity to me. Also, it is super fucking lame to say you didn’t get a job because the female hiring manager was jealous of your beauty. Do you really think you are so attractive that some other, presumably older woman would not want to have you around because of jealousy? 

Seriously. And maybe you don’t have many female friends, not because you’re beautiful, but because you make vast generalizations making all girls out to be jealous and petty. “Pretty” girls like you are the reason why girls are pitted against one another. Girls are awesome, it’s you who sucks. 

Seriously. And maybe you don’t have many female friends, not because you’re beautiful, but because you make vast generalizations making all girls out to be jealous and petty. “Pretty” girls like you are the reason why girls are pitted against one another. Girls are awesome, it’s you who sucks. 

thanks!!

AMEN. thank youuuuuu

thank you thank you thank you. even if you think my articles are “kinda shyte” i think you’re great.

hahaha

what job? and i don’t use photobooth or photoshop, i take terrible candid photos and let people tag me in them on facebook

i think you’re an absolute doll with a quick wit

thanks! someone tweeted me this earlier and i found it particularly apt: ”People get uncomfortable when women are aware of their beauty. We’re supposed to be beautiful but oblivious.” Why is that? What’s so wrong with acknowledging your own beauty? Shouldn’t good self esteem and body image be a positive thing? And I was pretty careful not to bash anyone OR make any attempt to “define” physical beauty in this article, so anyone who might feel that way should probably give it another read through.

i don’t really give a shit if people give a shit, to be honest.

it’s about quality, not quantity baby girl. i HAVE girlfriends, and they’re all wonderful, amazing, conscientious people that i’m happy to have in my life. however, don’t even try to tell me that women don’t occasionally (at the very least) feel threatened by someone good-looking, smart, AND talented. i know i do!

not necessarily IRL

i am grateful, trust me. i’m gonna make the most of it till my tits are down to my knees 

i disagree completely

i’m not tall, and by the way did i ANYWHERE in this article attempt to define what makes a person beautiful?

“If you’re that upset to hate on this girl via internet comments, then you have something else you’re dealing with.” YES

for the record, i have a perfectly wonderful boyfriend i’ve been with for 2+ years who is college educated AND has a job. this article was more of a generalization of my overall experience. 

 from time to time i try to get out of fines on public transport by batting my eyelashes and speaking real slow and sexy. The outcome, though always positive, is more or less to do with the fact that in the process of getting my flirt on i manage to look like a girl on the verge of an epileptic seizure. as a child i never foresaw that looking like the disabled, potentially drug addicted love-child of mary-kate olsen and anne frank would work in my favour.

Come to Europe.

Have your over-inflated opinion on your personal “beauty” brought back down to Earth.

it would be a major low point in my life if the day ever came where i wrote articles in an effort to get sympathy from people i’ve never met. i just write honestly about my life and my experiences, and if people don’t like it they can move the fuck on. 

i really appreciate that. thank you!

 & to the author, having read 3/4 of this article one can conclude without any physical evidence whatsoever that you are, in fact -gasp- unattractive.

i’ve heard that! ugh what a nightmare

italian guys are f-i-n-e

i wish

i wish

i’m actually a pretty great person to know and be around. you will never have this luxury so you’ll have to take my word for it. or not. anyway, this article had nothing to do with my personality. i just often wonder what my life would be like if i wasn’t physically attractive but had the same personality, and i think if that were so a lot of people wouldn’t bother getting to know me in the first place.

i’m actually a pretty great person to know and be around. you will never have this luxury so you’ll have to take my word for it. or not. anyway, this article had nothing to do with my personality. i just often wonder what my life would be like if i wasn’t physically attractive but had the same personality, and i think if that were so a lot of people wouldn’t bother getting to know me in the first place.

she’s armenian. and did ray j really pee on her? i halfheartedly scanned the internet looking for clips, but all i could find were videos of her going “mmm ohh fuck me daddy” in her baby whore voice

dirty? really. you don’t know how badly i want to tell you to fuck off right now.

Beauty is very subjective which is why people become so angry and riled up, but the general idea of this article is great. I for one agree with someone’s comment that this fake modesty should be abolished. There is obviously a fine line between confidence and cockyness, but there is no reason someone shouldn’t be proud of the way they look. And white girl problem or not this article is quite honest in the depiction of the struggles for someone attractive. There’s no reason to brush it off as insignificant if it is not relatable to you. I never forget the movie Crash where Sandra Bullock’s character was so frustrated at the fact that being a white woman she wasn’t allowed to feel hate or loneliness. We have all succumbed to viewing other people as attractive or even feeling ourselves to be attractive in one way or another its banking on that alone where in lies the problem.

ha! i genuinely liked that

Enjoy it while you can.  Your face is going to look like a catcher’s mitt in a few years.  I don’t write the rules.  That’s just how it works. 

i’m really not all that bothered by the general thought behind this article. i do think good looking women have a rough go in some areas of life, but you went about sharing your thoughts in the completely wrong fashion. you come off as a stuck up bitch for sure, and maybe you’re not. i don’t know you. i just wish this article was more relatable even to people who aren’t SCARY GOOD LOOKING. 

this is the DAMN truth. living in Paris did a number on my self-esteem. 

I have a very beautiful, intelligent Puerto Rican girlfriend, and she goes through a lot of this, especially the issues with jealousy.  Good looks, especially on an exotic woman, can be very intimidating indeed.

They sell Chardonnay at your CVS?! I have got to get out of the Bible Belt.

I liked reading this article, but when I first did, I was thinking “shiiit is this something you can really say publicly?” Then I thought about it. Why can’t she (or anyone else for that matter) publicly acknowledge that they know they are good looking? In a world completely obsessed by beauty and looks, why is it conceited to say “I know I am pretty, and this brings with it both ups and downs, here are my observations regarding the matter”? Yes, this article is self absorbed… BUT OUR ENTIRE GENERATION IS SELF ABSORBED. Tessah is just not too embarrassed about that to publish an honest article about her thoughts and experiences. The title gave everyone fair warning about its contents. If you still chose to read the article, perhaps you just wanted to be offended. Keep writing Tessah, I enjoyed the article.

Love it so true, thank you for telling it like it is.

i know i agree with one point for sure. i don’t think i’m extremely pretty or anything, but my girlfriends always roll their eyes at me when i complain that there are no cute guys who like me. the guys who come after me always just want sex. but all i want is someone to love me for me. apparently, most females around me don’t understand that. they equate male attention to males liking me. it’s a hard thing to deal with, especially when you’re really just looking for love.

greg, the ‘grade A’ dick–

Internet people are dicks. Sorry Tess. I actually like the article, and I also wonder how people would view me if I wasn’t as attractive. 

uhh..no. “pretty” girls don’t have friends because they don’t want someone just as pretty as them around to steal the attention.

fucking lame chick.

..all guys want sex, regardless of how pretty or not pretty you are. good god. if you’re dealing with men  under the age of 30, generally they are so packed with testosterone that all they can see is sex. get over it.

the hipster rule applies…when you acknowledge that you are a hipster, you cease being one.

when you acknowledge that you are good looking, you cease being good looking.

 you are now a conceited and overrated.

yeah..
the “good looking” twenty-somethings ususally happen to the ones that spend more time in the sun. more sun= premature aging.

good luck, “pretty” girl.

you are wrong. i know plenty of people that aren’t naturally (genetically) pretty, but work so hard on their image that they come off as attractive. nowdays, beauty can be paid for.

title should be changed to..
“what it’s like to be a young girl”..

i wear sunscreen

Wow, conceited AND insecure. Great combo.

guess what happens to girls that get too conceited about their looks..
they get used to being positively reinforced for looking good, they get by on their looks, then BOOM, they’re 50, they’re old, less attractive, and alone, because they thought that being pretty was the only thing that mattered.

get a life.

guess what happens to girls that get too conceited about their looks..
they get used to being positively reinforced for looking good, they get by on their looks, then BOOM, they’re 50, they’re old, less attractive, and alone, because they thought that being pretty was the only thing that mattered.

get a life.

yeah..you can’t tell someone you’re pretty. it should speak for itself. article sucks.

There is nothing wrong with calling yourself attractive, or pretty, or beautiful. And I know what it’s like to get creeper attention. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it can be very uncomfortable, and I find that no one sympathizes with you when it happens. “Oh, that scary looking guy has been staring at for the past hour? Ah, it’s because you’re so pretty. ” That doesn’t make me feel better. That makes me feel worse. Igh.

scary looking guys stare at anything with a vagina.

i’m not oblivious, insufferable, or a cunt but there may be something to the special snowflake complex. at least i can admit it

oh shit ry are we sharing haters?

Drinking makes them look old by mid to late 20s. I’m like damn youre as pretty as me but with crows feet already you look 30 something and were the same age.

“what it’s like to be vapid” more like. don’t blame girls for this drivel.

I’m pretty but I go outta my way not to act like it.I treat everyone the same way I would want to be treated. And yeah not having pretty friends is being insecure I see it all the time their friends have to be ugly or fat or less attractive.Once people realise I’m not a pretty(petty)bitch they love me.Rich or poor ugly or smart people are people and are pretty cool most of the time.The only people I dont like are azzholes ugly smart or pretty.

I’m pretty but I go outta my way not to act like it.I treat everyone the same way I would want to be treated. And yeah not having pretty friends is being insecure I see it all the time their friends have to be ugly or fat or less attractive.Once people realise I’m not a pretty(petty)bitch they love me.Rich or poor ugly or smart people are people and are pretty cool most of the time.The only people I dont like are azzholes ugly smart or pretty.

also happens from too much sun/tanning beds and wearing too much chemicals and preservatives (makeup) on your face.

mmmk..if you are interviewing with an older female manager, you probably should dress extremely conservatively, wear minimal makeup, and smile as much as possible. seeing as you’re incompetent and arrogant, i bet you failed to do that.

The Humblebrag works better in Tweet-form.

Yeah I didnt see Halle Berry Angeline Jolie or Cindy Crawford like beauty just a regular looking girl.

From what you said in your article, a lot of people aren’t bothering to get to know you now. Maybe you should think about that. 

Damn, so much hate. This seemed sincere and humble to me.

One of author’s top Google search results is link to Twitter photo gallery with shots of her own fingernails. Not really genius material.

Don’t know if anyone has mentioned it yet, but whether you liked the article, hated it, or wrote it, you should read Reasons to Be Pretty by Neil LaBute.

If you don’t have any friends and no one wants to be with you it probably isn’t just because you are sooooooo totally hot. You are probably a bitch. 

There are absolutely beautiful, confident women everywhere who are not only gorgeous but are kind, smart and funny. Usually women with these such qualities don’t feel the need to publicly justify their obvious loneliness with their looks. 

Why does that have anything to do with how smart she is? Maybe she just thought her nails looked nice.

that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Can you accept the criticism that pervy assholes on the street perving it is something basically all women have to deal with?  

Privileged girl cries about how hard it is to be privileged, bless.

So many comments! People love talking about subjective… subjects! Nevertheless. This article made me a bit sad. Sad because I always wonder about what girls (apparently like you) who are what the general population consider “beautiful” think and believe about the preservation of their physical beauty and the impression it gives. You may not be tall and thin, you may be about my height (5’4), but with dashing features, a symmetrical face, a great rack, and perfectly aligned teeth. I’d be hard pressed to believe none of those apply to you if you’re getting as much attention as you describe in the article. But the part that gets me sad is that it IS such a “woe is me” article, and that you write  – you ACTUALLY WRITE! — you’d not wish to be mildly or un-attractive!… As someone who is often identified as, you know, cute, aww so adorbs, and occasionally by the most manipulative yet charming of men, “beautiful,” I have to speak up. I read this and actually felt terrible afterwards. My life being mild- to lukewarm- attractive, in the generalized eyes of the beholders, is made to sound like it sucks if it’s really so terrible to be really, reall, ridiculously good-looking like you. I realize not all of TC’s articles are meant to be feel good, and you can say whatever you wish of course, but thought I would let you know how I personally felt after reading.

Phew. Glad I got that off my (non-existent cleavage-bearing) chest :)

after a 2 minute google search it is obvious the author herself needs to be punched in the face. i spent 15 seconds reading what she had to say about the kardashians and nail polish and then a minute looking at pictures of women that she thinks are less than the physical perfection that she clearly embodies. 

case closed. google for yourself

Look, if you’re sucking on a blow pop while wearing dresses that are revealing even for job interviews then it’s your own damn fault. Also, you have no girlfriends because you’re a conceited cunt.

I stalked your twitter. it seems you are only an 8.5 or 9 with good lighting. the way you talk about yourself in the article gives the impression that you are a perfect 10. so i have come to the conclusion that you are just a self absorbed bitch. 

Well i suppose all the haters are unattractive then. I am an attractive girl even though im 31 now and can totally relate to this article. Like sometimes i just want to go to club and dance without having men harass me ALL the time and also it is so effing hard to be friends with other girls cause they cannot handle it. I fell out with my best friend cause she was saying i could not understand how hard it was for her when some boy didnt fancy her cause everyone always fancies me!  Im 31, look about 25 even though i drink and smoke and still just meet guys who get infatuated for about a month or two but treat me like a trophy, as soon as they get used to the fact that they are sleeping with someone as gorgeous as me then they decide they need to find themselves a new trophy. Thank you for posting this, it’s nice to know im not alone…

id say a ny 7 actually

the perfect 10 is just an illusion created by airbrushing. it doesn’t exist. 8′s and 9′s exist, however. The 8′s and 9′s (sans airbrushing) turn into 10′s with airbrushing. 

basically what i’m trying to say no one is perfect. i didn’t like her arrogance either, but you don’t have to bash her looks like that.

If you’re as physically beautiful as your writing suggests you are, you’re blessed! Being beautiful shouldn’t be a burden. However, my personal opinion is that I don’t think you’re attractive – at all. (Maybe I have to be male to understand why you keep getting all these guys – or girls – hitting on you). Nevertheless, if you think you’re pretty then, the hell with that, tell the world if you so please! It’s better to be radically honest about your opinion if you feel strong enough to write about it then bottle it all up, right? (Hello Thought Catalogue!) What’s up with all these irrational comments? If being honest about oneself makes that person conceited then it makes them conceited – there’s nothing wrong with being proud of oneself, is there? Is it so bad for someone to acknowledge a perception of the truth; so bad that they needs to receive all this detrimental bullshit on something they spent their time writing so that you see what they see? Is it so bad to try to understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes for just a brief moment?

Being physically unattractive can be quite horrible – some people look at you, wonder where you came from and avoid you. Though, I’m sometimes grateful that I’m not ‘pretty’, not ‘beautiful’, not ‘attractive’ and so forth. I’m ‘ugly’ but okay, whatever, looks don’t matter in the long run (just read all the comments below if you want some evidence). I seek comfort in the fact that everything I have, everything I’ve earned, is the result of hard work, endurance and precious time I’ve invested into attaining my goals because I’m ugly and that’s the only way I can get what I want (other than by sexual deeds) rather than: “it’s because I’m pretty”. That being said, pretty people can have it all too – intelligence and emotional intelligence, success and good looks – the whole lot! You see this type of people all the time (damn those good-looking professionals)! Tessah, if you want to be recognised as someone with talent rather than ‘That Pretty Girl’, I suggest you start approaching your goal/s by determining what you want and just going for it because there are a lot of people out there who don’t care about the way you look whatsoever. When your looks run dry, you’ve got nothing to depend on but your character.

You’re that girl that got scammed. Clearly not that intelligent.

Also, facetious is a word that stupid people say to sound smart. 

Pretty girls convince themselves that they are rare.
Pretty girls convince themselves they get cat called because they are pretty.Pretty girls consider prettiness an aspect of their character.I forget I am “pretty” and so do the people around me because I act like a normal human being. Not a “pretty girl” TM

Or don’t do that, don’t get the job and attribute it to jealousy, and be a cashier. But a pretty cashier, so it’s okay, amirite?

I wasn’t going to say that, because that’s not the point. (Hint: you missed it.)

And it’s telling that you avoided the problematic bigger issue I described, of the dangerously common opinion that only hot girls get harassed and molested, which in my mind goes hand-in-hand with slutshaming and victim-blaming (“she deserved it, because she looks so pretty/feminine/sexually appealing to men”). Instead, you opted for the tiresome condescending term of endearment (fyi, you might try not calling strangers baby girl) and assertion that Ohmygod, I do too have friends!

I don’t mind that you’re proud of your looks or unafraid to discuss it. I think it’s lovely that you are. But I think you were aiming for refreshingly honest and instead hit a really sour combination of clunky writing, irritating arrogance, and a dangerously misinformed stance on the reason why girls endure unwanted sexual attention.

We know, Tessah.

Lol, baby whore voice. Apparently Kim getting peed on is like Bigfoot, everyone claims to have seen it but there is no photographic proof.

The problem is . . . you’re not that attractive. And pretty self absorbed if your Tumblr is a true depiction of who you are as a person. 

Dude, in Germany everyone was super model gorgeous, girls and guys. My boyfriend and I were like ‘damn!’ every two minutes.

Fuarrrkkk so many jelly cuntz here

http://thepantyparty.tumblr.com/post/11090219436/weekend-at-the-landmark
Probably her best piece of writing yet. I really like that she admits to doing coke and having sex for 2 days . . . or, you know, something like it. 

Lots of ugly people must read ThoughtCatalog. Physically and personality wise. It is difficult to be the pretty girl- the vast majority of people just think that you’re boobs and legs and hair.

Thank you SO much for writing this article!  This is the sort of topic that I can only discuss with my mum and therapist.  I’d love to be able to walk down the street without being approached/cat-called/harrassed by men.  Sometimes I just want to curl up into a little ball and be un-noticeable. 
Now I’ve definitely profitted from my looks (I modelled for a while) but if you’ve got the smarts to back it up, bam!  I look after and dress nicely for MYSELF. Constant comments are NOT welcome. 

I also completely sympathize with your lack of cute and NICE guys dating options- people only want to be with me initially because they notice the “hot redhead,” despite my intelligence and career sucesses.  And I don’t have a lot of close girlfriends, but those that I do have always end up with the nice guys even if I’m prettier and more accomplished.  Intimidation because of attractiveness is a real thing. 

THANK YOU. 

I’m just so embarrassed for you. Because, even if you think you’re proud of this piece of work right now and all the negative commenters are “haterzzz” you WILL regret having posted this in a couple of years. Especially since when you google your name this is the first thing that comes up (along with some wack-ass “modeling” pictures) 

What it’s Like to be an Average Pretty Girl
 
Being average and pretty has some benefits.  I didn’t pass any classes I didn’t deserve to pass because I would never consider going to see the professor to bat my eyes at him or fake cry (mostly because I can’t make myself cry).  I’ve been hit on at bars (when I do go, because I still go occasionally), but usually by older men who enjoy a set of curves.  I haven’t avoided any arrests, because I’ve never put myself in situations where I could be arrested.  Because I’m funny and smart, people enjoy being around me.  I’m an average pretty girls, aren’t average pretty girls suppose to be funny and smart?  Well, the stereotype says so. 
It’s easy because it’s never hard for me.  No one’s freaked out by my intelligence because I carry myself with poise and sophistication.  I’ve never encountered a female supervisor who wasn’t fond of me because I am professional.  What young adult female hasn’t encountered a male supervisor who sort of “gave her the creeps”.  They’re there.  They creep out all females.  It ain’t just the babes getting ogled.  Move to a bad neighborhood, and you better get a bodyguard because you live…in a bad neighborhood.  Bad neighborhood or good, twenty-something females have all encountered men who are overly friendly.  C’mon, give them a break.  If they get their kicks talking to a pretty face, it’s the least I can do.  It’s flattering.
Nice guys will never hit on you, presumably because you’re pouting and trying to act coy.  When I smile at guys and give forth a friendly energy, anyone will talk to me and I’ll talk to them.  The number one pick up for an average pretty girl will be, “So, where are you from?”.  And if I’m into it, I tell them.  And if not, I say Timbucktoo.
Average pretty girls get creeped on too.  Unless the men are over the top vulgar and harassing, again I have no problem chatting with a guy who sees a pretty face and wants to make conversation.  Maybe that guy is lonely.  Maybe I just made his day by giving him a smile.  It’s not a big deal when a man compliments you.  It’s meant to be a compliment, and I, the average pretty girl, take it with a smile and thanks.  Because some day, those guys will see younger women and feed them the compliments.  And I’ll be wishing it was me again.
On the flipside, when a group of construction men don’t say hi or smile at you, you’ll see that they’re very focused on their job.  And isn’t that the point?  I’ve never encountered a hard ass who made me feel bad about my average pretty looks, because I’ve never encountered someone who did me favors because of my looks.  I have a balanced playing field.  I get ahead because of what I bring to the table and how hard I’ve worked.  Not because it took a new outfit from TJ’s and hot curlers to give me the “porn-star hair”.
I have plenty of girlfriends who are gorgeous.  They wear glasses, they get pimples, and they have love handles just like me.  But together we are fabulous; individually, we are just as fabulous.  And men appreciate our friendly, funny natures.  I may be the single girl drinking my wine in the corner while my friends flirt with boyfriends or a guy they just met, but I’m a good wing-woman and would never desert them.  They would help me out too if I’d just met someone.  And if I don’t meet a guy who I’ll think, “He’s cute, I’d like to see him” (as in, on a date, not as in, see him in my bed because I’m going through a dry spell, but who hasn’t?!).  I’ll wonder why I’m still single thinking I’d be a great girlfriend, but there must be a reason why I haven’t met my own Mr. Darcy.  Until then, I’ll grow and learn and love more and more my average pretty looks.
I guess it could be hard to be gorgeous.  To get cat-calls, feel unsafe walking the streets alone, or feel I’m too pretty so guys feel intimidated.  But I’m an average pretty- and I get hit on, and I sometimes pretend I’m on the phone if I’m scared the boogeyman is watching me while I walk to my car, and I don’t always get approached by guys either.  And the neighborhood teens follow me too, but I know enough to turn around and scare the living daylights out of them and call the cops.

Damn, i wish u weren’t pretty , but u actually are in whatever world one lives in, Only the uglies are hating :)

Except she just kept relating all the things happening to her to being pretty. These things happen to average people, not just pretty people. Some people here don’t care that she thinks she’s gorgeous but that she has weak evidences to support that it’s her being pretty that drives people to say certain things and act certain ways around her. 

tl;dr though

“And I don’t have a lot of close girlfriends, but those that I do have always end up with the nice guys even if I’m prettier and more accomplished.”
LOL. This is your reality, we get it. But it’s unfortunate that you, like the author, are acutely aware of your “prettiness” and keep asserting it as legitimate handicaps. No wonder these people you speak of don’t take you seriously.

pics or gtfo

pics or gtfo

pics or gtfo

I admire the author’s honesty! There are people who go around ‘acting’ as if they’re pretty / smart / cool / wdv like they deserve more WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING HONEST ABOUT IT. I think those people deserve more crap than she does. I mean come on! The author hasn’t actually -done- anything to you but other people, they act like they deserve more like they give you those disdainful looks. A lot of people have one thing about themselves they’re actually proud about… I don’t think she should be butchered for that. The only thing different is that she has the guts to admit it.

Whatever you’ll think about her; whether she’s pretty / not, whether you agree with her, who gives a crap? I think people are offended because an innate part of them is jealous that someone can feel good about themselves for something…and in this case, more so, only because the author dares to say it out in the open!

I agree that jealousy is most of the problem.  I for one, made my reply below to show that not just the drop-dead gorgeous girls get creeped on or think that men are intimidated.  I really truly feel it’s our generation, people born in the 80s, who are just awful at dating.  So whether fairy-tale beautiful or Shrek-like’ish, I think we all to a certain exent face what the author faces.  What I didn’t agree with, and thus wrote my own “Average Pretty Girl” response, is that the author appears to think she suffers these things because she’s beautiful. 

I have a nail blog that I also occasionally post to Twitter. It’s all public, so do your research.

Yeah, the author isn’t thattt pretty. Just checked her Twitter photo. 

Yeah, the author isn’t thattt pretty. Just checked her Twitter photo. 

Not necessarily is true, but in your article you are implying that Models are in most cases not naturally gorgeous. You’re just wrong.

It’s just like when people are rich. You know you’re rich, and people around you know you’re rich but to flaunt your richness is unnecessary and makes the non rich people feel bad about themselves. For me it’s just annoying, but for some people it can be very offensive to see someone be so ignorant to not know this unwritten-life-rule. 

And again, if there was a reason to use such a provocative subject matter to unravel a life golden nugget, or gleam of truth hidden from ourselves this conversation would be null.

No worries, love! Thought Catalog is full of masturbatory, psuedo, pretentious douche bags who become even more so through the anonymity of the internet. They’re all just sad that, unlike Tao Lin, they can’t be broke AND worshipped for their writing, so they write super mean comments to anyone who tries something honest that they might not entirely get because they’re bitter shitheads. Don’t let them get to you. They’re just insignificant jerks! :)

I like this

I like this

….What kind of a sentence was that?

….What kind of a sentence was that?

Thank you for this article! I came from a very small town, and was always the “pretty” girl in high school. It was always so difficult to keep female friends because the boys my friends would like would always end up liking me. I also completely get your genius point! I’m fairly smart (full ride academic scholarship to a top 25 university), and a lot of people were intimidated by me because they thought I had everything going for me. After a major tragedy struck (My house burnt down and I lost everything. I barely escaped and ended up with severe 2nd degree burns.), I rapidly gained weight due to all of the stress. Now, that I’m out of the small town bubble, coupled with my scars and my extra weight, I finally get to live the life of a normal person.

Sigh. I hate this article as much as anyone who ever said they did but I wish people would stop evaluating the author’s looks. Yes, she thinks she’s gorgeous, but beauty is subjective. It’s just that she’s WRONG in thinking that her prettiness dictates what happens in her life, as per what she wrote.

The best part of this article is that the author half-assedly defends herself at every critical comment.

Wrote an article about this piece. Tessah I know you are reading this. Let’s dance, girlfrayn. http://alcoholicsconspicuous.wordpress.com/2011/10/11/oh-gawd-thought-catalog/

“They are hideous and arrogant on the inside, so that’s all I need to know.”  

Been waiting for someone to point this out. Amen.

Yeah the author is attractive but she is nowhere near the level of attractiveness this article so eloquently depicts. Take a look at her Twitter photos. She looks like a NY 7. 

While this rubbed me the wrong way at first, I realized that it was mostly because so many girls (myself included) are taught and encouraged to be self-deprecating–I think it’s a really welcome change to hear someone who is confident about their appearance. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard my girl friends lower their heads and bat their eyes and complain about how ugly they are, just because they want someone to tell them that they’re not. Maybe it’s a tired conceit, but they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if Tessah thinks she’s pretty than Tessah thinks she’s pretty. Somewhere along the line, it became attractive to render oneself UNattractive, which I think is a lot more alarming than someone feeling good about their appearance. 

Wow, dickhead AND asshole.

Congratulations, Tessah. 

Hint number one: 

A smart girl never has to say she is smart. 

True, people treat her that certain way because of combined factors, not just because she think she’s pretty. Some think she’s conceited because she thinks she’s pretty and others think she’s ”stupid” or a bad persuasive writer because she doesn’t support her argument with evidence… moreover, there seems to be something wrong with her logic.

maybe if you were more than average pretty…
you’d have a better idea of what she meant…
ya know, to her extent.

It’s statistically proven that female recruiters are less likely to hire an attractive women with the same qualifications of an unattractive woman.

It may not be a handicap but feeling as if  you’re always liked for the wrong reasons is not exactly a walk in the park. “Oh, you really like me? You don’t even know me.”

Then dealing with the SHOCK that you are more than just a pretty face, or belittled for your ambitions as if you must be joking…or just  lying about what “you do” to cover up being some shit like a gogo dancer or promo model.

Sure, I could pick apart every little thing i disagreed with in this article, but in terms of the big picture I understand what she is trying to say.

you sound fat.

you sound fat.

you sound fat.

hipster rule?

you are now pretentious and irrelevant.

where do these people come from…

i guess everyone else is allowed to make prettygirl generalizations behind  a mask of anonymity while judging you for stating how you feel. cute. kinda.

exactly.

you realize this is thoughtcatalog, not cnn, correct?

go tweet that.

thanks for the psa.
my life is better now.

thanks for the psa.
my life is better now.

thanks for the psa.
my life is better now.

You wrote an entire essay on your beauty, it’s hilarious that a single internet comment made you angry. How dare ONE person question your beauty?! 
PS: You’re average at best, and you do look dirty. Like Coachella’s all year ’round for you. 

http://catedeleon.blogspot.com/2011/10/pretty-girl-problems.html

If you think thats a big word then you need to pick up a thesaurus—on a daily basis. It was a typo. Get over yourself

nice shitstorm, thought catalog~!  well done!

Then you should have titled this “What It’s Like To Be A Girl Who Thinks She’s Pretty”

clearly you do

I think the issue really isn’t about whether you find the author pretty, but that the fact that someone has the balls to stand up and say “yay I’m happy people (some, if not all) find me attractive and I’m proud of it” is pretty damn awesome. Check out Ryan’s article with a truckload of comments from pretty girls complaining about their lives and being treating like meat. For once, someone admits that they enjoy the fucking attention. 

Let’s be honest, who wouldn’t?

Funny article.

#COOLSTORYBRO! i’m glad you took enough time to troll my tumblr, dick. strangely enough though i could give less fucks that you think i’m unattractive. its just the internet, and you’re just another gray face.

A few common comments on articles based on self-deprecating, disorder-inducing ways of thinking about one’s sense of self and body image:

“I wish everyone could see how beautiful they all really are”, “Grow up” and “I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows, and smiles, and we’d all eat and be happy…”

…and then there are the comments on the articles written by authors who actually appreciate the way they look and praise the unbelievable strike of luck they had when their genes matched the beloved phenotype our society so-freaking-worships.

*see 80% of the comments above.*

Seriously guys, WE may hate our love-handles, spindly legs and crooked noses…but some people actually like the way they look. Can we stop hating on these mythical creatures who actually love their bodies? Because IMO, we should aspire to be more like them.

Haha, Kia. You mad? 

i’m half black, so it’s not like my skin is dark from being exposed to the sun

i’m half black, so it’s not like my skin is dark from being exposed to the sun

i’m half black, so it’s not like my skin is dark from being exposed to the sun

i’m half black, so it’s not like my skin is dark from being exposed to the sun

i’m half black, so it’s not like my skin is dark from being exposed to the sun

I agree that people shouldn’t be berating the author’s actual looks or her confidence – there’s nothing wrong with both. HOWEVER, the things happening to her? NOT ABOUT BEING PRETTY. Hope you read the article again.

I guess I don’t understand why this article is so controversial. I would say most young women go through a phase where they are deemed attractive and as a result get harassed because of it. The author is actually giving a fairly accurate description of what many, many young women go through when they are dressed up, in their prime, etc. Guess what, it’s not fun. Why are we all so offended?

At least the comments were fun to read?

It’s not controversial. Beautiful, self-assured people don’t take offense to this sort of thing; only haters do. Tessah’s reality is just her reality, and as you said, I believe that this reality is shared by many young women.  I find it amusing that people deliberately seek out articles like these JUST to slam them into the ground… as though it is their personal duty to kill Beauty and its tail feathers. It’s rather refreshing, imo, to see a girl who is actually confident in her looks and can put her views out there (no matter how inflammatory) rather than one who hates herself because she doesn’t think she’s pretty. But hey, clearly self-hate has been in vogue for a while and will continue to be so. People love when you hate yourself, and hate when you love yourself (because most times they can’t jump on the bandwagon, or don’t have the courage to). People who don’t believe they are attractive will never understand what it’s like to be “pretty”, because frankly, beauty is a state of mind. And the irony is that there is so much rhetoric out there about how competitive girls are with one another over beauty and boy issues… then you have hypocrites like the ones below who pretend that the twisted world of “beauty” and “competition” doesn’t exist. It does, and haters will continue to abound.

It’s not controversial. Beautiful, self-assured people don’t take offense to this sort of thing; only haters do. Tessah’s reality is just her reality, and as you said, I believe that this reality is shared by many young women.  I find it amusing that people deliberately seek out articles like these JUST to slam them into the ground… as though it is their personal duty to kill Beauty and its tail feathers. It’s rather refreshing, imo, to see a girl who is actually confident in her looks and can put her views out there (no matter how inflammatory) rather than one who hates herself because she doesn’t think she’s pretty. But hey, clearly self-hate has been in vogue for a while and will continue to be so. People love when you hate yourself, and hate when you love yourself (because most times they can’t jump on the bandwagon, or don’t have the courage to). People who don’t believe they are attractive will never understand what it’s like to be “pretty”, because frankly, beauty is a state of mind. And the irony is that there is so much rhetoric out there about how competitive girls are with one another over beauty and boy issues… then you have hypocrites like the ones below who pretend that the twisted world of “beauty” and “competition” doesn’t exist. It does, and haters will continue to abound.

wouldn’t you be?

why can’t there be a medium between self-hate and self-love? how about..a healthy, normal ego? narcissism is not cute,  hating yourself isn’t either. both are disgusting.

You must be new around here.

welp, I can appreciate your honesty.

Coming from an actual pretty girl, I’d have to say TS is very vapid. This article is a joke. If you are so smart, Tessah, why is your twitter filled with the lackluster stream of consciousness of a consumerist whore?

From what you spout out (on a whim, it seems) you have a thirst for knowledge and wisdom. See:

“hope this ep of Up All Night is better than the last one, which was
written by a 15 year old girl or poss an older woman obsessed w/Disney.”

When you aren’t busy pondering fangirl twitter accounts, deliberating over which shade of nail polish to use, or getting high off acetone, I imagine your life is filled with significance. Any intelligent and successful man would be so lucky to have you on his arm. But they’re intimidated, because you are so pretty! How debilitating.

A prime example of how the digital age has raped our society of any self-awareness. If it weren’t for Twitter or Thought Catalog, this girl would have no audience.

And a true smart girl wouldn’t be bothered at all by what bothers the author about her being pretty.

If heirs went around saying “I’m rich, bitch!” (gotta lova DC), I am not sure how the 99%’ers would take it. Honestly I would think, you didn’t work for that so who gives a shit. But say you dressed dapper or are in most senses well put together, is that not something worth being admired for. Clearly those traits of you didn’t come from the womb lottery.

You got it at ”dressed-up”. If the author finds it so hard to be hot, she is free to wear jogging pants and no make-up. I’m average looking and I get everything she says on a daily basis. Boo-fuckin-hoo. Maybe the educated sophisticated men prefer to go out with beautiful sophisticated women who are intelligent without pretending to be rather than ”pretty” superficial hyper-entitled ones. Guys often tell me about these types of girls who think they are spectacular because they relentlessly get hit on – like every girl under 30 on the planet – now I know it’s not a chimera. They exist! I would never date a guy who thinks he is universally hot, but I guess women get away with being that shallow and pathetic. Must be a supply and demand thing.

wow. how big is your ego

I loved this article, and I found it hilarious how offended people were in the comments… I agree with what someone said earlier, according to society, beauty is one of the highest achievements for women, but god forbid you ever admit that you’re beautiful… (very paraphrased)

Tessah, I especially resonated with what you said about coming to rely on your beauty.  I was an ugly duckling growing up – I was also shy, insecure, had very low self-esteem, was socially anxious, you name it.  When I was about 16 I ‘blossomed’ and was suddenly one of the most attractive girls at school.  Suddenly guys flocked around me and my self-esteem began to improve, re-enforced by external validation.

These days, I value myself for more than just my looks, as my self-confidence has improved (and is still improving, although it’s a long journey to my preferred destination).  But still, sometimes I worry – if I had a horrible accident that ruined my face, how would I feel about myself?  How much of my self-confidence is based on my looks?

And then there are also all the guys that see me and fall in love with my looks and convince themselves that they’re in love with me but are they really seeing me?  Or just my looks?  I’ve had many experiences that suggest the latter… 

I guess this is similar to the ultra-rich or ultra-famous person complaining that they don’t know if people befriend/love them only because they’re rich/famous.  Come to think of it, if I saw an article like that I’d probably post some vitriol comment because I’d be jealous – I’m broke and nowhere near famous.  

But I am beautiful, and so I feel no jealousy or bitterness when I applaud you on this article, Tessah.  Sure, being beautiful is great – even with my insecurities about it, I wouldn’t exchange it for average.  But it’s not all fun and games all the time.  Everyone has their issues, even the rich and famous (supposedly).

I loved this article, and I found it hilarious how offended people were in the comments… I agree with what someone said earlier, according to society, beauty is one of the highest achievements for women, but god forbid you ever admit that you’re beautiful… (very paraphrased)

Tessah, I especially resonated with what you said about coming to rely on your beauty.  I was an ugly duckling growing up – I was also shy, insecure, had very low self-esteem, was socially anxious, you name it.  When I was about 16 I ‘blossomed’ and was suddenly one of the most attractive girls at school.  Suddenly guys flocked around me and my self-esteem began to improve, re-enforced by external validation.

These days, I value myself for more than just my looks, as my self-confidence has improved (and is still improving, although it’s a long journey to my preferred destination).  But still, sometimes I worry – if I had a horrible accident that ruined my face, how would I feel about myself?  How much of my self-confidence is based on my looks?

And then there are also all the guys that see me and fall in love with my looks and convince themselves that they’re in love with me but are they really seeing me?  Or just my looks?  I’ve had many experiences that suggest the latter… 

I guess this is similar to the ultra-rich or ultra-famous person complaining that they don’t know if people befriend/love them only because they’re rich/famous.  Come to think of it, if I saw an article like that I’d probably post some vitriol comment because I’d be jealous – I’m broke and nowhere near famous.  

But I am beautiful, and so I feel no jealousy or bitterness when I applaud you on this article, Tessah.  Sure, being beautiful is great – even with my insecurities about it, I wouldn’t exchange it for average.  But it’s not all fun and games all the time.  Everyone has their issues, even the rich and famous (supposedly).

I loved this article, and I found it hilarious how offended people were in the comments… I agree with what someone said earlier, according to society, beauty is one of the highest achievements for women, but god forbid you ever admit that you’re beautiful… (very paraphrased)

Tessah, I especially resonated with what you said about coming to rely on your beauty.  I was an ugly duckling growing up – I was also shy, insecure, had very low self-esteem, was socially anxious, you name it.  When I was about 16 I ‘blossomed’ and was suddenly one of the most attractive girls at school.  Suddenly guys flocked around me and my self-esteem began to improve, re-enforced by external validation.

These days, I value myself for more than just my looks, as my self-confidence has improved (and is still improving, although it’s a long journey to my preferred destination).  But still, sometimes I worry – if I had a horrible accident that ruined my face, how would I feel about myself?  How much of my self-confidence is based on my looks?

And then there are also all the guys that see me and fall in love with my looks and convince themselves that they’re in love with me but are they really seeing me?  Or just my looks?  I’ve had many experiences that suggest the latter… 

I guess this is similar to the ultra-rich or ultra-famous person complaining that they don’t know if people befriend/love them only because they’re rich/famous.  Come to think of it, if I saw an article like that I’d probably post some vitriol comment because I’d be jealous – I’m broke and nowhere near famous.  

But I am beautiful, and so I feel no jealousy or bitterness when I applaud you on this article, Tessah.  Sure, being beautiful is great – even with my insecurities about it, I wouldn’t exchange it for average.  But it’s not all fun and games all the time.  Everyone has their issues, even the rich and famous (supposedly).

I don’t understand if these things have actually happened to her,how is she being vapid. It’s not like she’s making up the story this is real life. If this was some article written by an average or unattractive girl speaking on her insecurities all of you would,hold hands and cry into your boxed wine. 

Wow. people are so rude. I just looked at your pics and I think you’re beautiful! 

hell yeah dicks in all the big ass pussies #clitchilling

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SARAB? 

“And I don’t have a lot of close girlfriends, but those that I do have always end up with the nice guys even if I’m prettier and more accomplished.”
You actually said that. Out loud.Do you even hear yourself? Do you have the slightest idea how entitled and ego-centric that sounds? You’re telling us that because you are (in your opinion) more physically attractive and more accomplished (why don’t you let us be the judge of that?), you deserve the attention of the “cute and NICE guys” rather than your friends, who are presumably not as pretty as you and less career-driven and therefore lesser human beings, deserving of less attention from worthwhile men. Whether you realize this or not, that is exactly how you come off. 

News flash: overall beauty is subjective. Even if you are “prettier” than your girlfriends, you may in fact be the least attractive girl in the room. Since your friends don’t seem to have problems attracting cute and NICE (in all caps) guys, did you ever consider that the problem is you? Maybe you’re not as wonderful as you seem to think you are. Maybe you’re a shallow person who judges people’s worth based on career accomplishments and physical beauty alone. Maybe you’re wildly insecure and men just don’t want to have to deal with THAT girl. [Caps mine.]  Maybe you’re not very interesting. Maybe your thoughts are broken and your sentences don’t make sense (e.g., “Now I’ve definitely profitted [sic] from my looks… but if you’ve got the smarts to back it up, bam!” What does that even mean?). 

I really don’t know if any of these things are true since I don’t know you. Regardless, it might benefit you to examine yourself more and honestly assess what part you play in your own troubles rather than to externalize all your problems and conclude that it is always other people who are holding you back. You say “[i]ntimidation because of attractiveness is a real thing.” I would like to suggest to you that not all the people who shy away from you are intimidated. Some just aren’t attracted to you. Believe it or not, physical beauty isn’t everything. Some men actually aren’t pigs. Some really do see beyond your hot red hair and reject the sum of who you are. Some of those nice boys prefer your girlfriends because they’re perfectly nice, beautiful people in their own rights. 

My criticism is not directed to SARAB alone.  Everything she states is a rehash of the article. What’s wrong with SARAB’s assertions is the same thing that is wrong with the article itself. 

As many have already pointed out, it presumes that the litany of grievances are a consequence of being “pretty” without really proving that claim with evidence. It belies a narcissistic attitude with which the author engages the world. It suggests to me that a lot of the author’s problems, such as not having many close girlfriends, are partly a consequence of the author’s personality. With that same personality and attitude, the author would have the same problems if she were “ugly.” If all your boyfriends make you give up your “non-gay guy friends” and you go along with this, then, honey, part of the problem is you. It’s not just the jealous guys you are choosing, it’s also the fact that you are choosing jealous guys. Believe me, less attractive women have the same problem. You don’t have the market cornered because you are soo pretty. 

That said, I think the author has every right to express her view. To say she is whining is just as childish. Yes, there are children starving and people dying in wars. While we’re at it, let’s not forget that our Sun is dying, that the whole universe is expanding interminably and is doomed to die a heat death. To say her problems, which are unique to a privileged few, don’t matter because other people in other situations have other problems which may or may not grade higher on some imaginary suffering scale is to use a retarded logic, pardon my french. 

If you believe each person has the unalienable right to the pursuit of (life, liberty, and) happiness, then you believe it is each person’s prerogative–nay, duty–to address their own suffering. The magnitude of such suffering or the suffering of others is immaterial. I applaud the author for writing candidly about her experiences and examining a life untold. I just don’t believe she’s dug deep enough.

I think this was a healthy medium, to be honest. She admitted that she was good looking and pointed out both the ups and downs. What’s wrong with this, again?

Facetious really isn’t that hard to spell. I’m not impressed.

i had to cringe in order to like that. but, thank you.

hold  on.

joke, right?

You are being serious??!! I think the stereotype of pretty girls being shallow and stupid is not generated by their looks, it’s more bythe way they carry themselves. I am good looking and I don’t face this problem, you know why?? It’s because of the way I act. I’m pretty sure that educated/smart guys don’t hit on you not because they are intimidated by your looks but because, judging from your article, you seem a bit shallow (I’m sorry if I sound rude, but I think someone should give you a reality check and coming from a stranger, it would be easier)

Right.  Because smart people can never make silly, immature comments.  Or even, god forbid, act immature around a certain group of people.  And clearly, you can know everything about a person’s personality and intellectual pursuits by his/her internet output.  Thanks for enlightening me!

i just vomited.

I just fell over this, read through the comments and felt a need to adding a comment on the situation. It really hurts me to see how women are obviously taught and expected to be so self-deprecating. When someone mentions she is considered intelligent, or worse, attractive – although beauty isn’t objective and differs from nationality to nationality, culture to culture (etc), we do have ideals, and I  believe it is undeniable that some are considered more aesthetically pleasing (by the majority) than others – instead of reading through the actual content, thinking about it and genuinely responding, we to start to judge her appearance and attacking her. It’s rather easy to Google the author an tell her that she’s supposedly arrogant and delusional for mentioning the treatment she gets (from people who do find her attractive), because you personally think that she’s horribly narcissistic and unattractive. That doesn’t change the content of the article or how her every day life is, it really isn’t based on your opinion and the world does not revolve around you alone. We accuse her of having a gigantic confidence and overestimating herself for saying things as they are (“How big is your ego? You’re not denying that certain people do find you attractive and it affects your life to some degree? You’re not acting humble to gain attention and compliments? How DARE you!”) and tell her that “TRUE smart/intelligent/pretty/whatever girls don’t do/say/think that”. Come on.

I’m not anything out of the ordinary myself, and I don’t try to be. Despite the fact that I’m a couple of weeks shy of sixteen and most people prioritize finding a partner and improving their appearance for the sake of others, I gladly wear my hair in a messy bun and my big, nerdy glasses on a daily basis; Saying I don’t exactly have a lot of experience with being coveted is an underestimation, but I, however, have a very close friend who is beautiful. If it was, hypothetically, myself, I’d get so much negative response for mentioning so, even if it was true, but I bet Angelina Jolie calling herself slightly attractive would cause an uproar. My friend is definitely gorgeous, and she’d rather not be. Despite numerous model agencies contacting her on a monthly basis and lots of male attention, it really isn’t making her happy. She has no interest in the shallow fashion industry and men (especially much older men) touching her inappropriately, yelling humiliatingly sexual things after her on the street etc. isn’t exactly her idea of a great time. She’s lost countless of female friends because their boyfriends tried to hit on her or they generally got jealous and couldn’t take how much attention she got because of her appearance (which is the only thing she is valued and appreciated for, despite of being sweet, talented, intelligent and the funniest person I’ve ever met). Going out with her really isn’t fun, and men telling her that she’s the most beautiful women they’ve ever met and basically trying to get in her pants the whole time (which happens every time) is pretty tiring in the length. I have a lot of male friends whom I adore and love spending time with, but she hasn’t had one in years. Most guys don’t think with the brain and aren’t able to see through her looks. I often, although I try not to be, find myself being jealous of her, but it really isn’t easy. And I’m actually quite happy I’m not a pretty girl, even if it has its benefits. And these incredibly rude, unnecessary and bitter comments pretty much show being attractive isn’t always easy, especially not for women.

Please tell me this is satire.  If it is, it’s brilliant!  If not, it’s stupid and self congratulatory.

you poor thing. this life sounds awful.

meanwhile, i’m a pretty girl who has plenty of female friends, who doesn’t take home losers out of boredom. i mean damn, that is some sad stuff. D:

some guys think redheads are nasty…just saying.

If I’m just another gray face, why so angry? As a matter of fact, why even reply? Perhaps it’s because you “could give less fucks” (Pretty sure you meant couldn’t but whatever, right? It’s just the internet and we all know proper use of the English language doesn’t happen here!) You’re an unattractive, self absorbed person and it only took a single click on your name to figure that out. If you don’t want people looking at your Tumblr, don’t link up to it ya silly goose! 

lol nigga get your late ass OUT! that was like a month ago–

I can completely relate to this article. I don’t personally think I am god’s gift to mankind or anything, but I have been told I am quite beautiful. I don’t think there’s anything narcissistic about describing your life and how it is affected by your physical appearance. Some people have lots of hatred and jealousy in their hearts, and simply must justify their own gaping insecurities by deeming any woman who is happy with the way she looks “vapid” or “unintelligent.” A pity, really. All I can say is, it’s true that my more average looking friends get more male attention from good guys and have more relationships than I ever do. Although we are taught to be self-loathing, I don’t think it’s so wrong to admit you are above average in the looks department. There are certainly troubles that come with it, and it is foolish to suggest that the author doesn’t attract intelligent men because she finds herself so special. Being real with people gets you places, and as men will tell you, self-confidence is sexy.

You don’t sound very good looking, just self-absorbed.

Thanks for the article! I felt I related a lot, and agreed with some of it- but also disagreed with some of it.
Why should it be such a crime to realise that we are goodlooking? And appreciate and believe compliments we’ve been given? And share honest stories from our perspectives on the cons of it? Would it better we went around with the attitudes ‘hell yeah I’m hot and lovin it, suck it bitches!’I agree that its harder to prove smarts and skills when people instantly just see and judge and focus on you as a Pretty Girl as if that’s all you’ll ever be and couldnt possibly be pretty AND smart or something less object- like actually a human being with an opinion that’s worth something. I should feel happy when people compliment me on my looks but sometimes it gets tiring and old- and you long to be seen and recognised as something more. And I feel I get judged instantly a lot- people assume you’re bitchy and up yourself if you’re more outspoken and confident with talking, or bitchy and up yourself in a more cold, I’m-too-good way if you’re more soft-spoken and shy.Guy friends are harder to keep cause they fall for you, girl mates get jealous sometimes and don’t get too close, random girls in clubbing scenarios and especially with boyfriends on their arms will give you the glares of death. You find yourself trying not to offend people by dancing too much. Or going too near anyone’s bfs. You stare away from people’s gazes a lot, look at the ground a lot sometimes- try to blend in and be more invisible. Have a habit of avoiding things and trying not to be noticed too much. Not to mention avoiding old sleazy guys who undress you with their eyes where-ever you go.But having said all of this, I think a lot of pretty girls get lazy after all this treatment and struggling to prove themselves and kinda of give up sometimes and fall into the trap of becoming the stereotypical bitchy pretty girl personas. It’s pretty easy to become a bitch if people constantly treat you as one and expect you to be. It’s easy to get defensive and bitchy and cold when people assume things about you in any sense- in this case- having the intention of stealing peoples bfs or trying to be centre of attention or thinking I’m better than everyone else.But then, I think nothing really has a complete hold on how you get treated and what happens to you and who your friends are, your partner and your successes except you yourself and your personality. I know I can get things the easy way if I play up my looks. But I find it more satisfying to be recognised and praised for talents and smarts so I pursue and work on those. Sometimes it bothers me when people tell me I’m not just a pretty face, but I just accept and take it as a compliment- so I have managed to prove myself that’s good isn’t it. I enjoy people telling me I’m not those typical pretty girls- I’m actually nice and have a personality and actually smart. Complimented and recognised on something I’ve worked more on than something I was just born with.

I have a lot of great girl mates that I am close with. I’ve had tensions and jealous moments and cold treatment with them but managed to resolve them- and because I care and know how to put others before myself I can reach out and connect to them and dont just get wrapped up in a mindset of ‘oh theyre being unfair to me because im pretty. I should be treated better. Why won’t they make more effort. Gosh, it’s such a hard, lonely life being this pretty. Cry cry.’ instead I make the effort myself to keep them as friends and prove im not just some pretty, self centred bitch type- and it pays off. 

Its definitely hard to keep good guy mates- as they mostly just fall for me. I have a few, not-too-close ones atm. Sometime they flirt or make sexual comments though so it doesn’t feel like theyre really wanting to be good friends- but hey, I keep trying.

I have definitely always been pursued by loser, dickhead types and unfortunately dated a few.
But recently I told myself you know what? So the nice guy types dont go for me- what’s stopping me from going for them?
And today I’ve been with an amazing, sweet guy for 6 months. Sometimes he bothers me with weird comments about how im too pretty for him. And even other people have been as rude to comment as how why is a ‘pretty girl type’ like me with a ‘nice guy type’ like him? ANd I get guys hitting on me all the time even when he’s around- the big, dickhead, macho types of course. But we deal with it well and we make each other happy. And I’m very lucky to be with such a sweet, caring guy that actually knows respect for females. And just hope he can feel more confident and not think im ‘too pretty for him’ or anything dumb like that.

being pretty does have many cons and hold you back. But it has so many pros too- and I doubt anyone with good looks would REALLY deep down want to be less attractive looking. Everyone gets held back and to focus on your own hold backs and blame things like your looks on things that happen to you is ignorant and naive. I just embrace the pros and take the cons as a challenge and try to better myself. I’ve always been told Im pretty by randoms and gotten bitchy treatment and harassment and dont get approached by girls to be friends much and get approached too much by dickhead guys. But I manage to have good girl mates and an amazing, nice guy and I also manage to get complimented for being smart and talented sometimes too. And looks probs helped to get noticed for these blessings too. 

And yes, wow, I have ranted so much on this and it’s probably been really self-absorbed and self-congratulating and maybe I may come across as a narcissist, bitchy pretty girl type but hey it’s my honest opinion and rant and hopefully it gives people something! :)

agreed.

WOW This article has a lot of comments…. Hit a nerve Thought Catalog??

you really think that youre hot shit huh… 

someone should write an article on what being ugly is like.

Yeah, no. I’m not a huge fan of this article. You’re not unattractive, but you’re just the “stereotypically pretty” that we see EVERYWHERE nowadays. The fact that you half diss your friends (because apparently they’re not pretty enough to attract the sleezeballs that you do) just proves why you don’t have many female friends. Any pretty girl can avoid getting harassed by idiots, but you obviously soak up the attention because you like to get by in life on your looks. I dunno. This article is a sickening mixture of shameless bragging and immature whining.

After reading this there is no way I would follow Though Catalog.

LOL ALL women get hit on in the hood. The young, the old, the fat, the ugly, the beautiful…if you have a VAGINA you will be hit on in the hood, it’s a fact. Everything you say in this article sounds more like What it’s like to be a pretty girl with low self esteem. Getting trashed in bars, having barely any friends, only getting approached by losers etc. I feel sorry for you.

I completely understand where you are coming from.   I’m above average looking.   Because of my looks I’ve gotten a lot of random perks: I frequently get free drinks at clubs, I’ve been moved to the front of the line of many popular Hollywood or Vegas clubs, I get men helping me look under the hood of my broken down cars, I’ve gotten away with a few traffic tickets, etc.  
Since people of the same flock fly together, I’ve made friends with a lot of good looking women.  They’re all confident women who don’t feel insecure or threaten by another one’s attractiveness.  When we are around each other, we feel at ease because we don’t feel as though we are being judged.  When there is a good number of us at an outing, life is charming.  Guys and girls would fly to us.  The guys would want to talk to us, while the girls would want to join our group.  Occasionally, however, there will be other women who brings up a little fuss and want to “compete” for the attention we get.

I should mention, though, that I was on”ugly duckling” and “late-bloomer”.  Which may have actually been a good thing, because I was able to develop a likable personality when I was younger. I am in my late twenties now and am seeing signs of my skin aging.  Youth is huge element of the American beauty ideal, so I know my looks are already fading.  I’m a little sad that I will have to slowly forgo the perks of being attractive, but I know it’s just reality.  I’m looking into finding other ways to besides my looks to make me attractive.  I’m working on enhancing my personality, intelligence, and wardrobe. Let the annoying guys do nice favors for you.  Change your attitude or body language for a more approachable demeanor so nice guys aren’t intimidated by you.  Go up to those guys you’re interested in.  You may be too use to guys always going up to you.  Cover yourself up when you’re walking down an unsafe street.  It’s sort of plain common sense.  Don’t worry so much.  Stop complaining.  Beauty will fade. You should be grateful for it and take advantage of the perks now.

I’m willing to bet that if this were an article about how the author was treated differently because she was ugly, there wouldn’t be nearly so many comments saying, “Your problems have nothing to do with your looks!  It’s because you must be a bitch!/You’re self-absorbed!/You’re a cunt!/You’re not that smart!”  They would undoubtedly talk about society and how people respond to looks rather than make personal attacks.  These comments are actually perfect examples of the assumptions people make about you if you’re attractive.  You must have some hideous, HIDEOUS flaw to balance it out.  Everyone here has proven the point the author has made.

Not really; most of those comments are legit, and this is coming from someone who also has above average looks.  I couldn’t help but roll my eyes through most of the article.  Most of the “judgements” people are passing are based on her character/personality, not her looks, and are therefor pretty valid.  

Also, if the OP can’t form friendships with other women, the problem is her personality; period.  I have plenty of attractive friends who all have tons of girlfriends, so what is their problem exactly?

And of course a woman who is loathed by society for superficial reasons is going to get a different response.  Because she actually has something to complain about.

I was very shy at school and spent a lot of time alone.  Now, 50 years later, a friend confessed: “You have no idea how much we disliked you at school.  You had it all.  You were the prettiest girl in the class, you were intelligent, you were athletic and you had a happy home life.  We hated you.”  Now I understand.

I want a true friend who love  and know what love all about

The thing is….you’re not that attractive and this article makes you look like a joke.

Hold your head up high, girl!!  Never settle for less.  You have basic human needs and desires just like anyone else.  You sound like a very intelligent lady, so drop the losers (including  the so-called “gal-friends”) and strike out on your own.  Seek the company of those who make you feel comfortable and accepted and always, ALWAYS love yourself.   It will be a lonely journey, but you’ll get there.   I promise!

this was a great read!!! and i loved it and whoever doesn’t like it is clearly ugly!! sucks to be you!!!

I disagree with you. It all depends on what kind of people she has to interact with where she is living. An attractive woman can have other attractive female friends easily, because they do not need to compete with each other. However, attractive women can rarely have healthy friendships with women who have insecurities about the way that I look. I’m an above average looking woman at an Ivy League university – it’s not exactly a hotbed for physically attractive people. It doesn’t take much effort to make friends, but the only healthy friendships I’ve had are with women who also happen to be physically attractive. I’m assuming this is because I don’t trigger any insecurities for them. The friendships I’ve tried to have with women who wouldn’t be considered physically attractive were awful. We would technically be “friends,” in that we spent time together, but the girls would constantly try to put me down in some way in what I think was an attempt to create insecurities for me and make them feel better about themselves (they can say, “she’s pretty, but she has ______ problem with her – it’s okay that I don’t look like her!”). I do not believe that any secure person would have the need to do that to someone they consider a friend! None of my attractive female friends have ever done that to me. I always end up dropping these clearly negative friends. So, because of where I’m living at the time, and the simple fact it isn’t a hotbed of attractive people, I do not have a lot of friends. I could have more friends, but those friendships more than likely wouldn’t be healthy and constructive. 

A lot of people are also condemning the author for saying that losers that hit on her, claiming that she is bragging. I share a similar issue, and I can assure all of the readers that she is not bragging. The university I’m at has very few physically attractive men. Considering this I, more often than not, get hit on by men I don’t find attractive on a very consistent basis. It’s not that this is attention I try to get. I cut out all of my straight male friends (my male friends are all gay!) because I was sick of always having guy friends read into everything that I say and turn generic questions or questions about assignments into me expressing romantic interest in them. But even after that, it didn’t stop. It has gotten to the point where there are rarely any guys here that I can have a conversation with on any level without them hoping that this means they have a chance with me. It may sound horribly arrogant and like I’m bragging, but let me emphasize to all of the readers – it is NOT flattering to get hit on by people you don’t find attractive on a consistent, recurring basis! It’s beyond frustrating! It constantly puts you in a position where you have to figure out how to navigate this uncomfortable social situation properly, because some guys are just plain aggressive and won’t take a polite “no thanks” for an answer. And then you have to wonder what is wrong with you that these people constantly get the wrong impression of your intentions when you speak to them. It took me a little while, but I figured out it really doesn’t matter how you act around these men. You could choose not to give eye contact, or give short answers to questions when an unattractive guy approaches you to try to give him the hint that it’s not happening, but he’s going to keep trying… because to him you’re not a person – you are a trophy for him to show off and he doesn’t care what your personality is like or if you don’t like him at first (he’ll work to try and change your mind). It’s awful. I tried giving one of the guys who approached me that I didn’t find physically attractive a chance, and while he started out nice at first (they all do), he honestly did not treat me like a human being. To him, I was a plastic doll to parade around to his friends and attempt to control. He put me down all the time, just like the unattractive female friends I had did, because he wanted to convince me that I really couldn’t do better than him (because he know, based on looks, I actually could date a more attractive man than him). He sexually assaulted me when I wasn’t ready for the relationship to go further in that respect (maybe I was perceived more as a sex doll than a plastic doll). He got dumped. I will never give a guy I wouldn’t consider physically attractive a chance again.. and that is a part of why I’m so sick and tired of the “coveted” attention that I get that I absolutely hate getting.

So, it all depends on where the author is living. If she’s in a place where there are a lot of attractive men and women, then I’m sure it’s easier to make good friends and have good, healthy relationships with those people. But if she’s in a context I can relate to, there is no reason why anyone should be writing any hateful comments. Attractive people are treated differently.. for better or for worse… 

How can anyone SOUND good-looking? That’s the wrong sense to judge appearance.. hahaha. Quit being judgmental. Different people have different life experiences that shape how they look at the world. Based on your picture, you don’t LOOK very good-looking (since that’s the proper sense used to judge appearance), and so you probably don’t understand what it’s like to have people constantly treat you the way she describes.. and when people don’t understand, they choose to insult rather than take the time to try see another person’s perspective. It’s pathetic. 

This is rude. There is not one universal experience. If her life description doesn’t fit yours, it doesn’t make her a bad person. 

Agreed!

How dare she have self confidence! Please. Jerk. 

Oh my god. You are so hateful. I think the fact that you are going around her twitter and trying to pick out things to prove she’s not intelligent shows that you have a major insecurity problem. Stop focusing on other people and focus on yourself. Just because someone is smart doesn’t mean they can’t have fun and talk about frivolous things from time to time too. 

And, no, Guest, a true smart girl can be bothered by people objectifying them all the time. It takes an idiot to think that many of your interactions with people (especially men) are  wholly genuine. 

And how would you know that the things don’t happen to her are not about being pretty? People seem to think that “pretty” is an optimal state where everything is perfect and if something goes wrong, it’s the individual and not the state of being pretty. Trust me, some people do respond to the way you look in ways you have NO CONTROL OVER.. 

Does that make you feel better about yourself to say that? 

You are hideous and arrogant on the inside for writing an entire article bashing someone. 

Reading this article, I actually started feeling slightly bad for the author… until I read her responses to people’s comments. No, sorry chica. Other girls don’t care if you’re pretty or not ; they care if you’re a pretty girl who’s also a douche.

Are you a douche? I have no clue, but you sure come off as one. I don’t know you, but what’s more important is that – from reading your responses – I DON’T WANT to get to know you. Your responses to other people show that you’re still pretty immature, and perhaps more insecure than the average bear.

*rolls eyes* C-

You know… I don’t know a single women who HASN’T been cat called. Some men (not all) are just pigs or immature at the time… I really don’t know how this lady gets off on self pitying her “beauty”.

Instead of shutting up and throwing a flirty smile why don’t you SPEAK UP and show the bosses your NOT just another pretty face.

Lady, smart people don’t let there looks get in the way of nothing. :)

Bravo! I really enjoyed your post.

Take the good and the bad; you’ll turn out alright.

ha. damn, does anyone know an ugly person well enough to ask? 

I agree, when I was in the hood my fatter neighbor with a jacked up face got hit on waaaaay more then I did.

And I’m a pretty little lady… though, the piercings where not popular back then…

You’ve worded this SO well. I don’t think the author is bragging or being arrogant in any way whatsoever. She’s not being humble, but why should she have to? If all her life, people have been confirming that she is attractive, then why should she have to avoid saying so herself? Anyway…

I love how you explained how your girlfriends behave.  I find that this is a problem for me, too.  Of course, I have some insecurities, as we all do, but they get worse when I hang around girls with even bigger insecurities.  They talk to me almost condescendingly at times, saying things like, “So ya went with the hole-y jeans tonight, huh…” (at the time, they were the only pair I had that fit me) – followed by a blatantly non-convincing, “No, don’t change, they’re cute.”You nailed it when you said that, when you are attractive, people purposely look for more flaws.  The whole, “Yeah, she’s pretty, but…” conversation happens all too often for girls like us.  It’s like people are trying to feel better about themselves so they try to find any flaw they can.  I can honestly say I am extremely nice to EVERYONE I meet, regardless of whether or not they have anything in common with me.  The worker at McDonald’s, my boyfriend’s female cousin who smokes pot every day, I talk to random children standing in front of me in line at WalMart.  However, girls will always try to find something mean to say.  I guess it’s easier for girls to automatically assume you’re a b*tch because you’re attractive, so they are b*tches back to you before they even meet you.

I know this seems ridiculous — almost similar to naturally thin people complaining that they can’t gain weight & say they are offended when people say how skinny they are — but, being attractive in other people’s eyes in not a breeze to live with.  Especially if your inner confidence doesn’t match your outward appearance.

The part about dating loser guys who try to control you & make you think you can’t do any better (simply because they know you can) are way more common than anyone probably thinks.

Thank you for your response and making me feel like I’m not crazy.

You can’t say anything without living in someone else’s shoes.